The Universal Cynic

"I'm a Sens fan, dammit! I'm inexperienced at viewing the middle ground of an opinion I don't understand, and am upset easily! Erin obviously hates Matt Carkner because she thinks he was destined for a career in the AHL! When you question a player's talent, that means you hate them! Well, that was before Bryan Murray paid him 1.4 million over 2 years! Hahaha! Stupid effing bitch, he showed you, didn't he? Bryan Murray has never made a bad signing in his career! He is a genius! Bryan Murray knows how to handle a ton of one-way contract defencemen that wouldn't be considered NHL-worthy on quality teams! He rewards his homeboys! Go Winchester (and Jesse Winchester, 'cause he destroys, too)! There was a rush, you know -- Carkner's family was living in a freaking hotel! These things can't wait! Room service gets really boring and flavourless! Matt's wife hates clean white towels! Bryan Murray knows that other teams were busting down the door to get at Matty, so he had to sign him after seven games...oh yeah, plus the pre-season! It's about the grit! Grit, grit, grit! As long as we have grit, that means the defence is COMPLETE! It's about time the back end got locked up, because the offensive portion has been nails for years and we never have to worry about it! Karlsson is the master of the first-line pass and Kuba is good for 50-60 points! No, really! I am beyond content with the offensive lineup at the blueline! Doesn't it kick ass? That's why we sent Brian Lee back to Bingo! It's an embarrassment of riches! It's really too bad that Matt is not eligible for the Calder Trophy due to his age! He had that thing WRAPPED UP! Hey John Tavares, stop snickering, you effing a-hole! Matt Carkner for Mayor! Matt Carkner for substitute Jesus!"

And...scene.


P.S.: If you thought I was going to leave the comments open to observe the attempts to understand extreme sarcasm, you're high. I've said my piece -- the subject is closed. Goodnight now.

...because TUC Live is hitting Toronto and NYC this week -- consider yourselves warned.



Wow, I never saw this coming -- apparently some bloggers/Twitterers are getting up-in-arms because I refuse to acknowledge the Senators' early season "successes." Naturally, these fans in rose-coloured glasses are only looking at the record on paper (currently a respectable 5-2-0, which has them sitting atop the Northwestern conference as of tonight). However, the duo of losses are more noticeable than the wins, as they took place against quality teams -- the Rangers and Penguins, specifically.

As for goals, yes, the Senators did score seven times versus Tampa Bay. But that offensive outburst is tempered somewhat when you realize that the Senators are 18-3 against the Lightning in their last 21 matchups, and have outscored the Bolts 91-38 during that period. (Ed. Note: Getting information from traditional outlets seems more legitimate when they were the ones who willingly admitted that they got it from someone else. Much obliged, Sun Media.)

It seems that many fans haven't hopped aboard this false wave of positive sentiment -- after all, the attendance numbers speak for themselves. Over the first four home games, the Senators are averaging 18,045 fans per game (a sellout of seating capacity is 19,153 with a total attendance availability of 20,500, according to the Scotiabank Place website.) By that logic, the Sens had a seat sellout against Atlanta -- a Saturday on a holiday weekend -- but had their lowest attendance thus far against the reigning Stanley Cup champions, the Pittsburgh Penguins (17,014 bothered to show up for that game).

So what have we established in this short period, given this information? Firstly, the Senators have yet to prove that they have taken the next step forward, following their turnaround late last season. They need to strong teams to task when given the opportunity, and they have to do more than win in spite of themselves (and their opponents) when battling the weaker ones (a classic example of that occurred this weekend in Montreal). Secondly, we can confirm that the Senators' gameplay still resembles octogenerian lovemaking (pre-Viagra Era): Slow, boring, predictable...with a fair amount of disgust thrown in. If you want excitement in the NHL, this is not the team to watch. And that's unfortunate, because if the Ottawa Senators want to get back on the horse, both from a competitive and fanbase standpoint, this isn't the way to do it. It might not be an outright failure yet, but it's a definite flounder.

***

Speaking of floundering, how many of you enjoyed Guy Carbonneau's stellar outing as part of the three-man booth in Montreal on Saturday? One of Carb's initial statements was so garbled, I swore he was having a stroke. And yes, I understand that Guy is viewed as one of "the good guys" and that I'm supposed to go easy on new media meat. Here's my response to that: Bugger off. Non-NHLers beginning on this path are subjected to intense scrutiny, and people inside the game should be held to the same standard. Carbonneau's timid delivery and complete lack of insight (i.e. "The Senators need to stop turning over the puck") left me utterly cold. That being said, if Guy had been chatty, I would have been equally turned off, but for a different reason. No sport requires the input of three individuals during a game. It all just melts into white noise after a point. Don't do it again, CBC.

More later.

Hey Ottawa: Want to know what your No. 1 prospect from 2009 is up to? Enjoy.

ESPN The Magazine's "Body Issue" doesn't hit newsstands until Friday, but some of the photos surfaced on the Internet today -- hence the picture of Zdeno Chara you see above.

I went back to Twitter to view some of the reaction, and you'd think a bunch of 7-year-olds had invaded the site. Is there a prescription out there that relieves the symptoms of nausea, vomiting and blindness? These claims were being made all afternoon by those -- largely of the male persuasion -- who had viewed the photo.

I know these outbursts are typical of many men when they have been exposed to material like this. The underlying lament is always, "I'm all man, dammit!" No one says you have to like it, but an adult with a mature mindset isn't going to question your sexuality if you discuss it objectively.

Granted, I understand that the picture also hasn't been overly popular with women (of course, their take in this situation is based on pulchritude). Unfortunately, I guess that's to be expected.

These pictures are meant to elicit a reaction, and the initial take is always going to be visceral whenever nudity is involved. However, can we please stifle the juvenile opinions, and just deal with it? I know I'm asking a lot, but come on -- it's not that bad, and it's hardly offensive.

More later.

Apparently some Sens fans became irked with me during Saturday night's opening game vs. Rangers, because I refused to get my non-existent pompoms up for the fourth line. This line, consisting of Jarkko Ruutu, Chris Kelly and Chris Neil, takes a bite out of the Ottawa cap to the tune of $5.425 million. Mmm...tasty.

But the money, while revelant, merely points to a simple fact: These guys have been paid said amount, because the club expected more out of them -- say as third-liners, for starters. When they perpetually disappoint at that level, it takes a demotion to the last step before their asses get kicked out the door, for them to be seen as quality? Are you (expletive) kidding me? And yes, I know some have bounced in between the third and fourth last season. That point is highly tempered by the fact that we were just talking about the possibility of a trade regarding some of these line members. Combine that with the revelation of being forced to start the season on the last line -- that says a lot.

Of course, everyone seemed to fall off the bandwagon during the last minute of the second period, when the line's brutal positioning gave Michael Del Zotto some prime real estate in Pascal Leclaire's backyard.

The lines have since been shaken up somewhat as Ryan Shannon nurses some bruises, but I fully expect to see this troika scraping the bottom of the barrel as the season continues. News flash: It's nothing to celebrate, and that includes the rare moments of effectiveness.

On another note, allow me to make one thing clear: The days of me rooting for this team are all but over. I don't bemoan their losses, and I don't applaud their wins. I observe them, but I won't actively cheer for them. In the future, if anyone wishes to have a civilized conversation with me about the Ottawa Senators, they had better remove their rose-coloured glasses first. Don't get uppity with me because you can't handle a less-than-stellar review of your team. That's your problem, not mine. And if you can't stomach an objective option, I highly suggest that you head on out of here, and begin reading one of the many fan-based blogs, because this isn't one of them.

End scene. More later.

Full disclosure: There are few things that I despise more than predictions (the only exception might be fantasy hockey -- learn to get down like a [wo]man, or bugger off). And so, as a middle finger response to all the visionary number-crunching nerds out there, may I happily present TUC's first-ever NHL prediction post. For the record, if you take this seriously, you need to go play in traffic, or contract food poisoning from a subpar sushi restaurant. Let's begin, shall we?

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* The Toronto Maple Leafs make the playoffs, and the hysteria overwhelms the GTA. The Toronto Sun begs the girlfriend of Jonas Gustavsson to pose as a Sunshine Girl. She responds by hurling Ikea Allen keys at the windows of the paper's office, leading the tabloid to dub her, "The Swedish Shrew."

* Frustrated after going 14 games without a goal, Columbus Blue Jackets forward Antoine Vermette accidentally drops an "este" during a post-game interview. The Quebecois swear becomes the hot new buzzword in Columbus, and the Ohio State Marching Band begins to spell it out on the field during football games, in their traditional cursive script.

* Following a last-minute change of plans, Calgary's Dion Phaneuf replaces Zdeno Chara in ESPN's "The Body Issue" magazine. Immediately after its release, Pierre McGuire is hospitalized after undergoing multiple fainting episodes.

* The L.A. Kings bring Wayne Gretzky back into the fold, to serve as their "Minister of Excellence." Pranksters celebrate his return by welding a Diet Coke can into the glove of his statue outside of the Staples Center.

* Filip Kuba becomes the No. 1 target of the Ottawa Sun's Don Brennan. Frustrated after practice, Kuba searches for the closest thing to hurl at the writer. Unfortunately, his object of choice is Erik Karlsson.

* A mascot scandal hits the media, when photographs of a highly sexual nature featuring the Leafs' Carlton the Bear and the Habs' Youppi. Leafs fans are discouraged to discover that Carlton, is indeed, a bottom.

* Exasperated by the claims that Pascal Leclaire is the best goaltender in Sens' modern history, Dominik Hasek returns to Ottawa to settle the score. Catching Leclaire in an off-guard moment, Hasek doffs his infamous neck towel, and proceeds to wet-snap Pascal into oblivion. Bryan Murray, clearly intimidated, hires Hasek immediately as Ottawa's No. 1 goaltender. Meanwhile, back-up Brian Elliott chooses to drown his sorrows in hair products.

* And finally, Montreal head coach Jacques Martin enters Ottawa's good graces once more, in a completely unexpected fashion. During a Habs game vs. San Jose, Martin permanently blinds Dany Heatley in one eye, after the winger accidentally catches a megawatt glint off of Martin's solid-gold "400 WINS" cufflinks*.

Naturally, if any of these predictions come to pass, I expect all of you to encourage TSN to hire me, stat.

More later.

_________________

* For the record, the cufflinks do exist.

...because I miss solid food.













* Hey, Peter Regin -- welcome to your latest shot with the Ottawa Senators! Everyone seems to believe that we have significant scoring depth, and we're happy to keep up that facade for as long as possible! Only problem is, we still don't have a real No. 2 centre, even though we pay Mike Fisher to serve as one! So if you'll do us a favour and slip into that role, we'd really appreciate it! Oh, one more thing -- we're going to put No. 12 on your wing in the hopes that it will light a fire under his ass from an offensive perspective! We hope you don't mind carrying that albatross around with you! But hey, you helped him get a hat trick in the pre-season! Let's just hope he didn't blow his load for the year! Wow, that was gauche of me to say! Sorry about that! Enjoy your stay in the capital, and take care of that pretty face of yours!
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* So, Ilya Zubov doesn't want to go to Bingo, eh? Wow. I'm. So. Shocked. What did I tell you about this kid? Shades of freaking Kaigorodov, that's what. And just like the White Knight, many Sens fans had Zubov penciled in on the big team for several years, and it never came to pass. Why? It's because the kid's got no drive, and his conditioning is (expletive). It really is unfortunate, because there is some talent there. However, if he's just going to ask like a lazy (and whiny) arse, he can bugger off. It should be amusing to watch the Brothers Murray attempt to get something for him.

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* Oh yeah, and the others: The German Ginge? Called it (hardly difficult). Babyface Lee? Expected it. Accept it, Ottawa: He is not going to be your top offensive defenceman. (Sincerely, Marcus Allen -- CBS Sports.) Now I get to sit around and watch them torch Karlsson, I suppose? Ack. That being said, I really have been loving the dynamic between Erik and Alfie. It's like Crosby and Lemieux with less a-hole vibe, and more lingonberries.

More later.

Here's Puck Daddy's preview of the 2009-10 Ottawa Senators, featuring OBC representation from yours truly and the Artist Formally Known As Dany Heatley Speedwagon (I think his eventual symbol will look like an ampersand that's been assaulted by umlauts).

Or a Pyatt? Or some clabbered milk? Go ahead and place your orders now: I'm heading home to the birthplace of Staalapalooza (and TUC) -- Thunder Bay. It's a last-minute trip, and I won't be there long. You can expect a fairly quiet week around here, but there are still a few things to look forward to:

Puck Daddy's preview of the 2009-10 Ottawa Senators should be up within the next 24 hours or so (I'm guessing). I was asked to participate, so watch for my thoughts over there. I'll attempt to put the link up here as soon as I can access it. If it doesn't appear, it's best to assume that Greg and I are feuding -- it's likely due to his ability to always score the quality risers at the draft. For the record, I could totally kick his ass. Don't tell him I said that, though.

On Wednesday, I'm scheduled to appear on the Faceoff Hockey Show at 7:45 ET. I expect the appearance to be largely focused on the Senators, but who knows what will happen? If they ask me to do my Norwegian death metal-style call of Dustin Byfuglien's name, I might oblige. (Yeah, I know. Really ladylike.)

There are additional things to come -- I'll post it on here when the schedule's sorted out.

More later.

P.S.: You have to be from the Lakehead and of a certain vintage to understand the photo. Just roll with it.

Are you surprised by the Ottawa Senators' decision to allow the Team 1200's "Three Guys on Radio" to broadcast live from tomorrow's FanFest at SBP? Personally, I raised my eyebrows at the choice. While John Rodenburg and Steve Warne are generally non-threats, the antics of one Jim Jerome leaves some to wonder if he has access to incriminating photos of the Team's P.D. TUC does everything in its power not to reference Jerome by name, because I believe he is completely unworthy of any kind of publicity. However, the decision by the Sens to allow this radio "personality" to broadcast live from their event is a bit too much to ignore. Jerome is well-known for his misogynistic and anti-gay commentary. Recently, he has also added a regular "bit" to his repertoire, that is already offending many with its blatant racial overtones directed towards the Asian population.

I'm assuming that the Senators think Jerome can be gagged (or indeed, fail to make an appearance, which wouldn't be shocking, given his reputation). But by allowing TGOR to appear, does that give off the impression that the Sens are fine if, God forbid, "Jimmy Yip" shows up?

Chew on that.

This interview took place around 4 pm EDT on the Team 1200. Thoughts are slightly paraphrased -- I tried to stay as verbatim as I could -- but you'll get the gist.

How relieved are you to have the deal done?

It was disappointing that of his stature didn’t want to be here. We spent a lot time trying to accommodate him; we talked to a lot of people before anda fter the process. Gad to have it out of the way.


Why did Heatley want out?

Basically he was unhappy. I Heard the rumours, they were all wrong. It came down to Dany wanting to be the guy. The team played well but didn’t do as well as he wanted. He didn't think we could go on another serious run. Cory wanted everyone to buy in as a team player. It was a variety of things, but it was all hockey-related. There were some personal things he suggested. Somethings that’s the case when someone's not always happy. Dany got to that stage.


Was there a hard deadline for a trade?

I wanted to sit down and talk to Dany. I had talked to his agents about issues, but I wanted to talk to see if he was still so strong and adamant, or was there something to talk about -- a different option, perhaps. The meeting made no sense, and it was not fair to our players, and Dany was adamant. On the other side, Michalek was not available for most part. When he was, that was when things changed.


Talk about Michalek.

Milan is going to be a talent in this league. I remember when I was in Anaheim, and I jokingly said to my guys, "Why don't we draft players like that?" I talked to Doug Wilson about him during the rookie tournament in Kitchener. His name came up Wednesday afternoon, but he was adamant that Milan's name not be made public. And of course, I still wanted to talk to Dany.


Thoughts on Cheechoo?

I think he'll bring chemistry. He’s not a 56 goal scorer; he played on a big line at the time. I suspect the injuries set him back, but he thinks he's healthier than he's been in a while. I've talked to him; it's going take some time for him to get going. If can get 20-25 goals from him, I'd be happy, but can still do some of the little things like checking, and getting out of the zone.


Based on his style, do you think Michalek might be a better fit than Heatley?

Dany was unhappy about a lot of things. Clouston was trying to bring a uptempo game into the system. Michalek fits better into that scheme. He can get on the forecheck and he's got some speed. We cant get a return on goals, can get but we can get a return on value. Milan's a puck pressure guy, and he can get up and down ice with speed. The regular fan likely doesn’t stay up to watch San Jose play. When they get to know these guys and see their involvement and overall play, I think they'll like them.

Going back to the addition of Alexei Kovalev, are you pleased now with the depth of the team?

I am. I'm pleased with the makeup right now. I said to some of our scouts that I'm so happy to have a couple of young of players who are showing well, but disappointed I can’t include them. The scoring can be more spread out, and come playoff time it'll be good to have more than one guy scoring.


Anything left on your wish list?

I want to look at D. We lost some grit and leadership with the departure of Jason Smith. We do have mobility, but I'll let it play itself out during first part of the season.

Once again, the details: The Ottawa Senators traded Dany Heatley and a fifth-round pick to the San Jose Sharks for Jonathan Cheechoo, Milan Michalek and a second-round pick.

I've never been a huge fan of post-trade analysis -- I find it to be predictable and boring. Furthermore, there's only one person I like to hear post-trade thoughts from: You might know him as TSN's Hedgehog (and he's far more concise/accurate than any blogger).

That being said, I thought I'd take a page from the blog's title and offer you some thoughts on what I don't expect to happen due to this trade. These opinions stemmed from the swap itself, and some of the reactions I've read thus far.

1) I don't see Cheechoo on the first line. Seeing some of the imaginary lines being drawn up by fans are killing me. One in particular, Cheechoo-Spezza-Alfredsson, has me in stitches. Guess what, kids? Cheechoo is a RW. But that hasn't stopped some fans from engaging in pipe-dream trios:

"I'm sure Cheechoo would rather learn LW than be relegated to a 3rd/4th line role again. There's no way he moves Alfie or Kovalev out of position."

Let me get this straight: You're desperately hoping that Cheechoo -- an injury-prone player and recent underachiever -- will not only pick up the offensive slack lost with Heatley's departure, but will also be able to play effectively at LW? Good times, Ottawa! Oh, and that extra bit about not having the ability to move Alfredsson or Kovalev? Sincerely, Marcus Allen -- CBS Sports.

2) I don't believe this trade will change Jason Spezza's game. I was reading Twitter yesterday as analysis of the trade began to fall out -- one of the takes that left me flabbergasted was the idea that Spezza could have a breakout year, and become a two-way player. Shhh...listen. Do you hear that? It's the sound of Jacques Martin laughing his ass off. Jason Spezza, barring a miracle, has peaked as an NHL player. He's a playmaker, and an immature one at that. The argument that he could turn out to be a late bloomer like Steve Yzerman needs to be left by the wayside. If that's what fans are expecting, they better not hold their breath. Bank on it.

3) I'm not expecting Milan Michalek to blossom into an offensive powerhouse. To be sure, I feel better about the addition of Michalek than I ever could about Cheechoo. However, Cory Clouston seems insistent about returning the Senators to a more responsible game (which is obviously a good thing). Anyone expecting some version of firewagon hockey in the nation's capital will be sorely disappointed. In short, I expect Michalek to serve as a secondary scoring boost -- not a primary scoring replacement.

4) I don't know how Alexei Kovalev is going to handle the pressure. When he signed as a Senator, Kovalev was viewed as a strong boost to secondary scoring that the Senators desperately needed. The only problem is, Ottawa now is deficient in primary offense, and Alexei will likely be expected to pick up some of the slack. Depending on his state of mind at the time, this could either work out well, or end up as a monumental disaster.

5) I don't see this move as being make-or-break for Bryan Murray. I wish I did, but the GM will likely skate again if the trade blows up in his face. Sens owner Eugene Melnyk thinks that Murray can do no wrong, and if the move goes sour, it will be blamed on Heatley's decision to force Murray's hand into a trade he wasn't completely satisfied with.

As for Dany Heatley, that's that. He arrived with much promise, and departed as a total disappointment. Meanwhile, the Senators' drama level drops, but for how long? This club lacks the ability to avoid it for any extended period.

More later.

Thoughts coming later tonight. It's just too damn nice out to waste one more minute on Dany Heatley right now.

More later.

P.S.: Wait, did I say today? I obviously meant tomorrow. Then I'm all about the football. Did you hear me? FOOT-BALL.

(Alternate title: TUC: The No. 1 Sens-related choice for monster T.O. blogs)

Two interviews, courtesy of A View From the Cheap Seats. The subjects are a couple of my favourites: Down Goes Brown and Pension Plan Puppets. The interviews are an interesting read, and they both referenced yours truly. This automatically means I can no longer kick them in the shins on initial glance -- I have to now buy them each a beer first (oh, and obviously, reciprocate on the pimping).

The interview with Down Goes Brown is here, and PPP's is located here.

P.S.: Credit to CapsChick for conducting these questionnaires. They've been great so far.

Boo Boo, keen never to disappoint, goes yard in his determination to be recognized as first on the case, even when it's being shot down by larger media and GMs. From Bruce Garrioch's column, published early this morning:

"While Senators GM Bryan Murray vehemently denied it, ESPN.com reported the club had completed a three-way deal — first reported by Sun Media — that would see centre Patrick Marleau go from the Sharks to the Kings, while forwards Alexander Frolov and Jarret Stoll would go from Los Angeles to Ottawa and Heatley wind up in San Jose."

For the record, John Buccigross took quite a bit on the blogs and Twitter last night by claiming that the three-way deal was done (Patrick Marleau to the Kings, Heatley to the Sharks and Jarret Stoll and Alexander Frolov to the Sens).

Don't get me wrong, if this trade somehow becomes reality, I'll be the first to give both men credit. (I guess I should probably congratulate Garrioch first, otherwise he might get pissed.) But when the most reputable of people spent the majority of last night denying the rumour, would you really want to get out there right now and proudly insist that you were the first to be incorrect?

More later.

He's here! I repeat, he's here! Stay calm! Do NOT look at him directly in the eye or tooth gap! He probably won't golf tomorrow, and he might be traded to the San Jose Sharks within the next 24 hours! That means he probably flew all this way for nothing! You may go ahead and laugh now!

For more on Heatley's arrival and the way he outsmarted the media (a stellar job by Butterknife Row), feel free to backread TUC's Twitter.


NFL now. (WOOOOOOO! Ahem.) More later.

(UPDATE: ESPN is reporting that the reported deal is done -- Heatley to the Sharks, Patrick Marleau to the Kings, and Jarret Stoll and Alexander Frolov to Ottawa, but "both Sharks GM Doug Wilson and Senators GM Bryan Murray denied the three-way trade when reached by ESPN.com." The Citizen's Allen Panzeri has more over here.)

Apparently Mike Comrie is a fan of irony -- he just signed a one-year deal with the Edmonton Oilers. Tweet of the Day goes to the always hilarious Down Goes Brown:

"(Mike) Comrie signs with Oilers. Had considered Habs, but was told he was too big."

(Aside: Whenever I see this photo, I hear Kang -- the alien from The Simpsons -- saying, "Eat! Grow large with food!")

No, this doesn't have anything to do with speed reading. But it does involve the Senators' own type of accelerated progression, and the risks versus rewards.

Talk to any Sens fan about the future, and Karlsson's name will immediately come up. He's the bright spot; the next great hope for Ottawa during what has been a dismal couple of years at both the farm and NHL level. Karlsson is also an offensive defenceman -- a position that has gone without a proper identity in the nation's capital for some time (even when players like Wade Redden were still here).

The weight on Erik's slight shoulders doesn't stop there. The 19-year-old Swede sparkled at the 2009 World Junior Championships, and won the tournament's award for "Best Defenseman." This was the first true opportunity for the Ottawa crowd to see their blue-chip prospect in action, and fans were anxious for more. Karlsson has also been playing for the Frolunda Indians of the SEL since the 2007-08 season (in addition, he logged seven games with Boras HC late last year). This experience has allowed the media to push the notion that he might be a boy, but he's playing among men, and therefore is likely further along in his development than other blueliners of his age.

Karlsson's hockey history obviously shouldn't be taken with a grain of salt, but here's the deal: Defenceman always require extra grooming and care before playing in the NHL. He still needs to adjust to the North American style of play -- ice size, season length and the sheer wear and tear of the game. Karlsson (like a great deal of Swede players) is mobile and capable with the puck. Sens fans are dying to see this approach once again at their blueline. However, he still needs to polish his defensive game and put some meat on his bones. Stats currently have him listed as 5'-11" and 175 lbs. Take a gander at EK during training camp this week, and see if you can believe that.

Sens fans have all but fallen in love with their upcoming d-man. They adore his style, his boyish face and his entertaining sound bytes. Not only is Ottawa hungry for a premiere representative on defence, they also miss having someone who can peak their interest off the ice in a positive way. Combine all this with one more fact: The reality that Brian Lee -- the previous No. 1 drafted blueliner -- has yet to pan out, and you realize that expectations are bordering on unrealistic for young Erik Karlsson. What happens if he's rushed into a spot on the team, and becomes overwhelmed? Ottawa seems fully of the mindset that once Erik comes, he's staying up here.

Everyone wants Erik Karlsson to succeed so badly, and the last thing the Sens need is to set him up for failure. That being said, Ottawa should think long and hard before awarding him a spot on the roster this October. Things are rough in the nation's capital right now, but it might be better if Karlsson remained a future hope in the minors with the proper time to develop, as opposed to a present disappointment in the majors.

More later.

...because you'll get it when I say you'll get it. If that isn't good enough for you, go worship at the Church of the Lankster. (Ed. Note: Three people will get that reference.)
















* I was glad to see the news of the NHL's (and other leagues') transborder travel conflict being taken with a semblance of seriousness late last week. AC Jetz is an extremely important entity amongst Air Canada, and it's one of the bright spots within a company that has experienced financial turmoil on a semi-regular basis. There are several options as of right now that both parties (the airline and teams) can look at: They could allow initial transborder travel to occur with AC Jetz, then have the teams use alternate U.S. charters within America, before returning home on their initial flight. Air Canada could potentially also look at the idea of returning the aircraft to Canada during trips, thereby creating all flights with a Canadian start point. However, the practicality of regularly ferrying an aircraft combined with fuel and maintenance costs would make this choice a long shot.

People underestimate how important a regular charter becomes to a team. Firstly, there's a physical comfort level. The players are well-fed and AC Jetz planes are configured with only first-class seats. (Aside: This creates an additional difficulty for the airline, because the plane can't simply be placed back into regular service during the season, although it will happen in extreme circumstances, such as weather issues.) Secondly, there's an emotional comfort that comes with it as well. The plane is made to feel like it belongs to the team. Players sit in the same spots, they're served by the same in-flights, and deal with the same staff on the ground. Everyone who works these flights also signs a confidentiality agreement, so sensitive issues needn't be exposed. It's not something the typical fan ever thinks about, but there's a lot of planning and care that goes into making sure these clubs arrive and depart without a hitch.

Hopefully this problem will be resolved soon, as I know how important this issue is to both sides. If you want to read more about life on the charter flights, check this link out. Google Toolbar will translate it for you into English with relative ease -- it isn't a perfect swap, but you'll get the gist.

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* It's kind of interesting to watch/read the reaction of the Binghamton fans as the younger names pop up in the headlines (always typical during this time of year as camp draws nigh). You almost get a sense of them rolling at their eyes at the "big city bumpkins" (and yes, I get the irony) who don't have a clue as to what's going on at the farm level. Over the past few years, there has been a major disconnect between Bingo and Ottawa for a few reasons. The annual B-Sens game in Ottawa was stopped, and many prospects simply weren't ready for the NHL. Without regular viewing and updates on the AHL players, a great number of fans simply lost track. Thankfully with the return of the Bingo game (November 8th at SBP) and what seems like a resurgence in activity between Binghamton and Ottawa (particularly last year), hopefully the O-Sens fans will get a better idea of how their prospects are doing, beyond October.

__________________


And finally, did anyone else notice a difference with John Rodenburg back on the Team 1200 on Tuesday? Yeah, neither did I. His talent is going to waste on that morning program. Give him a proper timeslot, with or without a knowledgeable co-host, do some interviews, give some opinions...you know, like an actual sports radio show? What a concept.

More later.

Sens rookie LW Mike Hoffman after a 4-1 win vs. Pittsburgh last night:

"It was a good game; it was high tempo. We've got a lot of good players out here, and everyone's trying to make a spot, so they're just working their balls off. It was a good game and I was glad to be a part of it."

I know it was shown on Rogers 22, but...um...ew? I'd blame it on youthful exuberance/inexperience, but the entire delivery was traditional deadpanned Canadiana on a mic, which only added to the effect.

P.S.: A family emergency overnight has led to a delay of today's Deglaze. Apologies all around. Look for it sometime this afternoon, or at the very latest, this evening.

More later.

Instead of viewing Daniel Alfredsson's comments on Dany Heatley as terse and harsh (and they really weren't -- if anything, they were assertive and honest), why not take into account what Alfie has dealt with over the course of his career?

This man will be turning 37 in December. He's dealt with Alexei Yashin's (expletive), club financial turmoil and the prospect of being moved (expletive), Ray Emery's (expletive), and those are just some of the major storylines. Sure, there are others who have driven this winding road alongside him (Chris Phillips, for example), but Alfredsson is the captain, and he's the one everyone wants to hear from -- his answers hold the most weight with fans and media. Don't you think he's getting a bit tired of the drama, and would give anything for a season not ripped from a soap opera plotline? You can't really fault him for reacting the way he did.

Chew on that.

Um...ack?

Courtesy of Icethetics (for the record, a freaking great site), comes still photos of the Binghamton Senators' new sweaters. According to the post, the B-Sens will still be using their primary cartoonish logo and the ...uh...creepy old man will be used as an alternate (as opposed to the black "B", which is for pre-season use).

A separate pre-season jersey? Seriously?

No word yet on which sweaters the team will be sporting when they make a roadie up to Ottawa in November. Personally, I'm hoping they don't use any of the jerseys shown - that logo freaks me out.

(Ed. Note: Major credit to Icethetics for posting this prior to tonight's unveiling. Again, if you haven't checked out their site, I highly recommend it.)

According to Leclaire's comments in the Citizen, there's no real rhyme or reason to the design -- it's just a play on his former mask in Columbus.

To the front:



Now to the side (I feel like Tony Kornheiser, leading you through the Penguin Dance):



And an obstructed view of the striped (NOT barberpole) pads. Get the hell outta the way, Jared Cowen!



I think I'm ambivalent towards the mask -- I'm getting a woodgrain/alternate Bingo logo/James Hetfield vibe off of it. I don't know if I dig it, but ultimately I don't find it particularly weird or lame. I was concerned when I initially read about the pads -- people kept mentioning "barberpole", and that was a horrible visual. Thankfully, the stripes do run vertically and not horizontally. Again, different, but not entirely sold.

Granted, the point is moot when it comes to his overall play, but what do you want? We've still got a month to go. Deal with it.

More later.

After 14 seasons, Jason Smith announced his retirement from the NHL today.

It is rather sad to see Smith's career end this way. Smith was brought to Ottawa to bring some jam and leadership to Ottawa's über-confused blueline, and to say that his presence was barely negligible would be an understatement. On a lighter note, it's too bad he couldn't convince Brian Lee to come with. He'd make an excellent pool boy with the right training and access to SPF 1000 sunblock.

More later.

On Anton Volchenkov being in the last year of his contract:

It sounds like it's a question of the Senators being able to afford him after 2009-10. No. 24 will earn 3.2 million this year, and his current contract has a cap hit of 2.5. Future interest seems mutual, however, and Murray stated, "I would suggest we'll have him going forward."

Given the role he plays, it's in the best interest for the Sens to keep Volchenkov in the fold. The main question is, how long can he keep up the brutal pace of TOI combined with shot-blocking dependency?

On a future All-Star Game being held in Ottawa:

Eugene Melnyk says the city is in line for one, and "it's just a question of what year." Wasn't there a hold-up on this issue due to a lack of sizable facilities downtown to host certain events? Maybe we'll hear more about this when the new Conference Centre is completed in 2011.

On a new scoreboard:

Cyril Leeder (na na na na na na na na LEE-DER!) says they're aiming to replace the board within five years and that according to surveys, it's not a priority among the fans.

All right, who filled out these surveys? I'd like to have a word with them. How can anyone be happy with the current state of that scoreboard? Sure, they made attempts to improve the image several years ago, but it still looks like it came out of the Ark. Technology has advanced so much in the past seven years (the current age of the screen) -- go have a look at what some other clubs are sporting. Take a gander at teams like Toronto, Montreal or L.A. It makes a world of difference to have a quality picture. And yes, I know a new scoreboard would be used as an excuse to jack up ticket prices. Speaking personally, this is one occasion where if I knew my dollars were going towards a legitimate improvement, I'd be fine with it.

You can read the whole story over here at the Citizen's website. Also included: Melnyk takes Jim Balsillie to task for his interest in purchasing the Sens 6 years ago, for the purpose of moving them to southern Ontario. Weeee!

Back to this conversation, are we? Here's a snippet from James Gordon's story yesterday regarding Heatley and the alternate captain's position:

Murray was also asked if he thought Dany Heatley could return as an assistant captain with the team. Clouston has been coy, but the GM seemed emphatic:

"To me, leadership is the people that wear the 'A' and I would suggest that probably Cory and Dany would mutually agree that this hasn't been the case so far."

I know a lot of people continue to put a lot of value on the "C" and two "A's", but let's get real, shall we? Ottawa is in the upper echelon of NHL clubs when it comes to symbolically-based fluff surrounding the embroidered letters. I get that few teams are ever going to have the opportunity to house a Mark Messier (or reasonable facsimile) in their dressing room. But how can you not suggest that Ottawa has had issues with leadership within their core? Their trade deadline M.O. for years has been to seek out a previous Stanley Cup winner to "show them how it's done."

This isn't a knock against Daniel Alfredsson, per se. Out of any of them, his work ethic and willingness to face the hard questions when the chips are down demonstrates that he's still the face of the franchise. I don't think any of us need to see a letter on his sweater to identify him in that role. Where he falls on the list of truly memorable leaders is a debate for another time.

This is more about the idea of ripping a symbolic leadership symbol from Dany Heatley, and how big it truly is in the grand scheme of things. Will he feel naked without the "A"? Does anyone truly think it will make a difference in his play or the way he views the Senators? Basically it's akin to a 30-second timeout. In my opinion, I think he'll barely notice. It's more to placate the fans than anything else, because they put so much stock into which players wear the letters.

And looking back, don't you think it's odd that few questioned the reason why he received that "A" to begin with? Sure, some were bent out of shape that it wasn't Mike Fisher. So obviously, it must've been the offensive output, right? Well, do you really want to encourage the rest of the team to float and shoot from only one angle? I think they have enough problems as it is.

More later.

So we've got Dany Heatley covered -- who else is having issues? What say you, Mr. Kovalev? From TSN.ca:

The former Montreal Canadiens forward - who signed a two-year, $10 million deal with the Ottawa Senators as a free agent this summer - told reporters on Thursday that he likes the idea of finishing his career in Montreal.

"I was disappointed, I thought for sure I'd be staying here," said Kovalev at his charity golf tournament in Montreal. "I couldn't really understand what had just happened. In the end, I took it from a business point of view. You had a chance to stay here, and you didn't, so you just go and do the job somewhere else. But maybe somewhere in the future I'll be back again, and get the same support."

"I've been back to Montreal four or five times in the last three weeks," Kovalev continued. "Every time you see a fan on the street, (they say) they're really disappointed. That's why I say, maybe after two years I'll be back again. It definitely would be nice to retire here. But it's not for me to talk about Montreal - I'm part of another organization. I'm going to go there and do the best I can and we'll see what happens."

How about that, Ottawa? The guy who's been blatantly featured on the splash page of the Sens' website for some time, is already thinking about what comes after he wears the red, black and gold.

You also have to enjoy the bit about being part of "another organization" and "going to go there." Does he even know where "there" is? The man's already on autopilot, and appears to be biding his time until his self-imposed 24-month sentence is up.

This is epic. Anyone else want out? How about you, Winchester?

More later.

Here's your Sportsnet East schedule for the Sens this season -- 40 in all. God, that seems like a huge whack of games. Anyway, more information is available at the Ottawa Senators website.

Scotiabank Senators on Rogers Sportsnet schedule for 2009-10:

Thursday, Oct. 8 - vs. N.Y. Islanders, 7 p.m.
Monday, Oct. 12 - vs. Pittsburgh, 7:30 p.m.
Thursday, Oct. 22 - vs. Nashville, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday, Nov. 10 - vs. Edmonton, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday, Nov. 17 - vs. Toronto, 7:30 p.m.
Monday, Nov. 23 - vs. Washington, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday, Dec. 1 - at San Jose, 10:30 p.m.
Sunday, Dec. 6 - at Anaheim, 8 p.m.
Tuesday, Dec. 8 - vs. Montreal, 7:30 p.m.
Monday, Dec. 14 - at Toronto, 7 p.m.
Friday, Dec. 18 - at New Jersey, 7 p.m.
Monday, Dec. 21 - vs. Boston, 7:30 p.m.
Wednesday, Dec. 23 - at Pittsburgh, 7 p.m.
Monday, Dec. 28 - vs. Montreal, 7:30 p.m.
Thursday, Dec. 31 - vs. N.Y. Islanders, 7 p.m.
Sunday, Jan. 3 - vs. Philadelphia, 1 p.m.
Tuesday, Jan. 5 - vs. Boston, 7:30 p.m.
Sunday, Jan. 10 - at Carolina, 5 p.m.
Tuesday, Jan. 12 - at Atlanta, 7 p.m.
Thursday, Jan. 14 - at N.Y. Rangers, 7 p.m.
Tuesday, Jan. 19 - vs. Chicago, 7:30 p.m.
Thursday, Jan. 21 - vs. St. Louis, 7 p.m.
Saturday, Jan. 23 - at Boston, 1 p.m.
Tuesday, Jan. 26 - vs. New Jersey, 7:30 p.m.
Wednesday, Feb. 3 - at Buffalo, 7 p.m.
Thursday, Feb. 4 - vs. Vancouver, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday, Feb. 9 - vs. Calgary, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday, March 2 - vs. N.Y. Rangers, 7:30 p.m.
Thursday, March 4 - at Carolina, 7 p.m.
Tuesday, March 9 - at Edmonton, 9:30 p.m.
Thursday, March 11 - at Calgary, 9:30 p.m.
Tuesday, March 16 - vs. Toronto, 7:30 p.m.
Thursday, March 18 - at Atlanta, 7 p.m.
Saturday, March 20 - at Dallas, 2 p.m.
Monday, March 22 - at Montreal, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday, March 23 - vs. Philadelphia, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday, March 30 - at Washington, 7 p.m.
Thursday, April 1 - vs. Carolina, 7:30 p.m.
Tuesday, April 6 - at Florida, 7:30 p.m.
Thursday, April 8 - at Tampa Bay, 7:30 p.m.

Cory Clouston's press conference took place yesterday afternoon, and the response we received was hardly a shock.

The Ottawa head coach was largely measured in his description of the drama surrounding Dany Heatley, verbalizing that the winger's role wasn't diminished in his opinion, and he was attempting to distribute scoring chances among the players.

To be fair, the Senators have always faced issues with secondary scoring -- Clouston could attempt to gear it up by switching things around, but history has shown it rarely works in lengthy doses. Heatley was, and still is regarded as the team's go-to guy for points (despite being a one-trick pony while doing so). Even if he wanted to legitimately reduce No. 15's role as punishment, the coach couldn't afford to do so.

That being said, The Driver brings up a relevant question:

"If Heatley thinks his role was diminished last year, what will his role be if he comes back and now he's fighting Kovalev for ice time?"

The newly-minted Clouston gained the confidence of fans and the front office with his effort to right a sinking ship last season. He will be looked upon to start this year out on the right foot, and it wasn't setting up to be an easy task, even prior to the Heatley circus. He could attempt to placate Heatley by getting him his touches, but how will that sit with a headcase like Alexei Kovalev (and vice versa)? Could you play them on a line together? Of course, but you get the feeling that there would be a visceral reaction from one or both if things weren't split right down the middle.

Clouston handled himself well yesterday, which couldn't have been easy, given the way he's been dragged into this mess (and regardless of the mounting evidence that suggests there's more to the story). One initially thought he had a pile of work to conquer if he had a chance of surviving a mid-season changing of the guard. That pile -- assuming that Heatley makes an appearance -- is beginning to look like Mt. Everest.

More later.

Once again, courtesy of James Gordon via YouTube.

James Gordon has begun to report the details of the Cory Clouston presser. Analysis to come as more details emerge.

Head coach Cory Clouston is scheduled to speak to the press any minute now. More to come.

Jeff Kent, beloved TUC mascot and resident 3 lb. ball of rage, passed away unexpectedly today after a brief illness.

Kent, a.k.a. The Kentlet a.k.a. Stop Chewing That You Little Bugger, could always be counted on to growl relentlessly, kick the crap out of his stuffed animal companion Roxy, and relieve himself on the local fishwraps as he saw fit. He had an enormous dislike for nearly everyone and everything (with the exception of golden raisins and bananas), and that's what made him such a fixture around TUC HQ.

Above is a memorable photo of him taking out his anger on Bruce Garrioch's mock draft. He ate some, ripped a bit apart, then urinated on the remainder. I wish I was kidding, but our boy never held back.

Goodbye, sweet one. We'll miss you.

By now I'll assume you've heard/read the conference calls featuring both Dany Heatley and Bryan Murray. Let's tackle some random thoughts, shall we?

* Was anyone able to take Dany Heatley's "reasons" at face value? It's understood that the team was/is not as successful as perhaps Dany had anticipated at the time of his signing. That said, perhaps he should try looking in the mirror every once in a while. Standing alongside Daniel Alfredsson and Jason Spezza, he is part of one of the NHL's most recognizable first lines. Furthermore, how does one state that his "role has been diminished" when he's part of such a line, and is looked upon as the first guy you go to for offence? The only thing that's changed is the occasional time on PP -- from first to second line. Who truly perceives that as a diminished role worthy of a trade demand?

* Due to the reasons I've stated above, I continue to stand by my belief that there must be more to this story. This is less about assumption, and more about putting puzzle pieces together that come courtesy of Heatley's inner circle. I know many of you are not fond of idle gossip -- that's not where I'm going with this. But a person doesn't behave the way that Heatley has -- particularly towards his closest friends -- if his issues only involve his role on the team. He doesn't shut down. He doesn't become an island. And that's exactly what Dany has done during the past two months.

* One really has to wonder what kind of a reason Bryan Murray needs to remove Heatley's "A". He claimed that he didn't want to rush into matters, and that it needed to be discussed with the players and coaches. I understand that the man must give a PC answer in situations like these, but he's got to realize such a statement sounds utterly foolish right now.

More later.

Related: Dany Heatley: "Me want options, attention, pancakes!" -- (TUC)

FYI: I'll be tweeting the Bryan Murray presser as soon as the Team 1200 decides to air it. Stay tuned over here.

OK, so he didn't demand breakfast foods, but Dany Heatley might as well have. In case you missed my Twitter explosion during the press conference call, No. 15's breaking of a two-month silence was basically a Kelowna-based cluster(expletive). Some highlights:

- Heatley verbalized his desire to be traded in May, and then presented the club with a formal letter detailing his request;

- He still wants out but will report to camp if nothing happens;

- Believes there are still teams out there that still want him;

- Didn't go to Edmonton because he "wanted more options";

- Believes his reputation as a team guy trumps any of this nonsense;

- Is unhappy with his "diminished role" and says it doesn't solely have to do with head coach Cory Clouston;

- Don Brennan tried to ask Heatley if he would give up the "A" if he returned to the Sens, and Stacey McAlpine cut him off. If you follow Brennan's relationship with Heatley to any degree, this little snub shouldn't come as a surprise.

Sigh.

During this entire mess, I really felt for Edmonton. They totally got thrown under the bus. Heatley claims that the Oilers weren't on his "initial list" of teams where he wanted to go to. He also claimed that his rejection of the trade "wasn't personal; (he) just wanted more options." 20-year-old frat boys who dump chicks via text are better BS artists than this guy.

James Gordon mentioned on his live blog that Bryan Murray may speak at 3:30 pm. We'll stay on that -- more to come.

It will likely be easier for me to tweet this afternoon's proceedings as opposed to constant updates on the blog, so look for me here during the actual press conference. Further analysis will take place at TUC proper later in the day.

Jai ho, emeffers. Let's get on with this.

If Dany Heatley's personal thoughts mean anything to you, thank your lucky stars that this season includes an Olympic year. That's the only reason why he'll be breaking his silence today -- Team Canada has forced his hand, because they don't want the additional distraction. Remember that Heatley's international game reputation has always proceeded anything he's done in Atlanta or Ottawa, so the significance of him maintaining healthy ties with Hockey Canada is large.

It's obviously best to go into today's conference with zero expectations. I assume there will be lot of spin, zero emotion and a whole bunch of pre-packaged semantics. From the other side, it's safe to guess that any bite during this fiasco won't be coming from media within the 613 area code. Baiting, maybe. Passive-aggressive inquiries with no objective? Likely. But based on a good portion of the coverage thus far, I'm expecting not a lot of substance.

On the plus side, James Gordon of the Citizen will be live-blogging the entire circus, beginning at 12:45 pm EDT. You can follow the action here.

Stay tuned...more to come.

The blog will be undergoing a brief shutdown next week -- it will be back (promise), but patience is appreciated in the meantime.

Naturally I assume this will be the time when Heatley will magically be traded. Anything to help the process along, right?

More later.

Allegedly? Sigh.

I will say this: If for whatever reason Jonathan Cheechoo does land in Ottawa, the Sens' front office can be grateful for an increase in ticket sales that comes along with it. Cheechoo has a significant First Nations contingent that shows up for his games at SBP, and their upbeat attitude adds a welcome vibe to the traditionally staid arena.

Finally, to end the night, a little bit of levity from Chris Stevenson:

"Here's a thought: If Bill Clinton can get two North American journalists out of a North Korean prison and sweet talk loopy Kim Jong Il, surely he can get Dany Heatley out of Ottawa. Worth a try?"

(What's with the shorts? Uh...anyway...)

Despite having no fixed address for the past couple of weeks, it surely must not suck to be Patrick Eaves right now. Traded from Carolina to Boston, only to be bought out by the Bruins for $933,000 (hardly a paltry sum when you're only 25). Then, free as the breeze, decides to sign in Detroit for a one-year-deal worth $500,000? Not too shabby.

Yes, it's not a great sum of money from the Wings in the grand scheme of things, but one must remember that Eaves is injury-prone and has a history of concussions. One false move and he could potentially end up sitting in his closet, talking to his mittens for a third of a season. However, Eaves is still an excellent skater with capabilities along the boards that can be appreciated. And it's safe to say that with a team like Detroit, his numbers are probably going to rebound, which only bodes well for him at this time, next year.

For $500,000, Bryan Murray must've squirmed just a tad, despite the potential injury gamble. He's been losing speed on this team left and right, and knows first-hand that Eaves has got it. But of course, who wants to freely go back to a team that traded you away? And besides, Ottawa has this guy, and he's better than Pat by leaps and bounds:



Right? Right? Wait -- why am I hearing crickets?

More later.

As the Dany Heatley deadlock rolls on, tiny cracks are beginning to appear in the vault of silence that surrounds the truth. The presentation to the public has always been that this is a beef between head coach Cory Clouston and No. 15. But few have found that so-called reason to be totally plausible.

Heatley, in the meantime, has completely shut himself off from the Senators. Not only that, he's refusing to take calls from some of his closest friends. And while we haven't gotten to the point of total-frustration-off-the-record-meltdown-on-a-golf-course-by-a-player yet, those inside the dressing room have indeed indicated that this involves some pretty heavy stuff, which goes beyond a simple tiff with a coach.

You may have seen some rumours flying about on Senators-related message boards over the past few weeks. Anything out there is naturally going to be taken with a grain of salt by the sensible. However, it should be noted that certain members of the traditional media have been flapping their gums off-the-record about the Heatley drama, and what they're saying is not far off from we've been reading on sites like HFBoards. Keep in mind, this is one of the biggest small towns out there, kids. Everything comes out eventually.

In short, based on what I've been told by my sources, I'm starting to lean towards the where-there's-smoke-there's-fire side of this situation. History has unfortunately proved that to be the case when it comes to the Sens.

More later.

* Jason Spezza served veal at his wedding. Perhaps he was waxing nostalgic for the days when Jacques Martin used to treat him like said-politically incorrect meat. (Ottawa Citizen)

* The names of the UFL teams have leaked -- notables include the Las Vegas Locomotives and the Orlando Tuskers. A "tusker" -- according to nationhahn, who posted the story on Twitter -- is a wild boar. I was hoping for some sort of Gulf-based dwarf walrus. (UFL Access)

* As featured on Yahoo! and Deadspin: Starbury TV. In the short time I watched, Stephon Marbury claimed to want to do an "Oprah-type show where (he) flew everyone in on a private jet." He also fancies it when you refer to him as "CEOBury." Utter (expletive) madness. (Starbury TV)

* The Globe and Mail's Jeff Blair is a good media choice to follow on Twitter -- he's fairly entertaining and is willing to answer questions/engage in light debate. (Jeff Blair -- Twitter)

* An older link, but worth revisiting during the slow days of summer: Brutal hockey tattoos. Is there even such a thing as a good one? (The Hockey News)

Good news from Chris Stevenson:

The Binghamton Senators will host the Hamilton Bulldogs, the AHL affiliate of the Montreal Canadiens, Nov. 8 at Scotiabank Place.

The two teams will also meet at the Bell Centre in Montreal Nov. 6.

I always enjoyed seeing the B-Sens play their annual game at the then-Corel Centre back in the day, and their fans are wonderfully enthusiastic. My one quibble is that I wish this game was happening later on in the season. We'll see a good portion of these prospects in training camp, which isn't far off from the game itself. If it were in, say, February, we'd have a better idea of how they were progressing as the year went on. No matter. It will be nice to have them back.

As reported by Brent Wallace and Chris Stevenson, Dany Heatley will not be showing up to Jason Spezza's wedding in Ottawa this weekend. How much fear and dread can the softball Ottawa media put into one player? They may be disappointed that they won't get a crack at Heatley right now, but it wouldn't surprise me if they're secretly thrilled to have "scared him off."

That being said, I just thought I'd throw out this conspiracy theory for you, courtesy of The Driver: What if this was a red herring to throw the media off, and Heatley does manage to pull off a stealth appearance? It may piss off the media something fierce, but who cares? If he does end up staying here through some weird turn of events, it would go a long way in repairing the relationship with his teammates.

Chew on that. More later.

That's what NHLPA Executive Director Paul Kelly told Dan Tencer last night on Edmonton's 630 AM radio.

"I think that this been kind of twisted in a negative way, which is unfortunate for Dany. I think he's just a victim of a bad set of circumstances," said Kelly about Heatley, who requested a trade earlier in the off-season.

"While it is true that he requested a trade, it was not Dany Heatley or his agent that made that fact public. I think Dany's been unfairly treated by the media and by the (Senators) organization."

Want some icing on that cake? Alrighty then, try this:

"I know that Dany doesn't harbour any ill will towards Edmonton and, in fact, would seriously consider playing for the Edmonton Oilers."


Read more and download Tencer's entire interview with Kelly here.

Yes, Jordan Staal really did take the Cup to the Hoito. Bless his heart. For more on the Cup's adventures in Thunder Bay, check out this piece from the Chronicle Journal.









(Much thanks to reader Scott B. for the photos.)

When I first heard about what happened to ESPN personality Erin Andrews -- my natural reaction was one of horror. Erin's privacy was violated during a moment when her guard was at its lowest. She was in her hotel room, naked, and likely preparing to go through the typical female ablutions. We all do it, and none of us think about it. We shouldn't have to...unless some freak with fibre optic equipment and a penknife decides to go Jack Bauer on the drywall in the adjacent room.

That being said, I have a few random thoughts on this incident -- and its fallout -- I'd like to share.

1) To witness some of the reaction from the bigger blogs on this topic is rather interesting. Many who initially allowed links to the video have since retracted the posts and gone into "protective pseudo-boyfriend" mode. They "feel badly" for Andrews, and state repeatedly how she "doesn't deserve this." While I wholeheartedly agree with those statements, it's a bit hard to swallow coming from writers who were previously content to objectify the hell out of Erin -- both for the sake of increased traffic and their own personal amusement. How many female sports media personalities were subjected to largely-spread photos of them eating a sandwich, or tales of their visits to a media buffet that featured a "taco bar"? The minutiae of Erin's life have always been up for discussion, and it largely has to do with her personal appearance. I suppose I should be appreciative that these bloggers are finally drawing the line publicly on the objectivity issue, but part of me also wonders how many of them immediately went looking for the video as soon as it was available.

2) While I reiterate that this never should have happened, I sincerely hope it causes Erin to reconsider certain things about life in the business. Yes, she's a very attractive woman. We all know that, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view), nothing can be done about it. However, Erin has previously been under scrutiny for wardrobe choices and flirtatious behaviour in the past. These decisions will likely exacerbate any kind of objectionable treatment she receives. Am I saying she's to blame? No. This isn't a, "girl dresses a certain way, she's getting what's coming to her" rant. The fact of the matter is, that while not all men are capable of doing dangerous/criminal things, most are more than capable of objectifying women to some degree -- be it publicly or privately. The spotlight is on her in such a male-dominated business, and her appearance adds to that. Anything -- and I mean ANYTHING that can be perceived as questionable (a hand on a player's shoulder or a dress cut to mid-thigh) can and will lead down a slippery slope.


One of my biggest outcries regarding this issue incidentally came right before this drama took place. Andrews was spotted at the ESPYs wearing a black Herve Leger strapless dress with cutouts down the front. This dress had previously been spotted on other celebrities, and has been repeatedly been crucified in the press for causing its wearers to look like, well, $5-dollar whores.

Did the dress suit her? She certainly has the body to pull it off. But that's not the point. This is a night where the attention would undoubtedly be on her, and she could have chosen to wear something far more sophisticated. Instead, she went for full-on sexpot. Why? It's not necessary. Furthermore, it does nothing to dissuade people from thinking that she's nothing more than a sideline princess -- a fun bauble to look at, but who gives a (expletive) what she says? We all know she's pretty -- why does she insist on feeding the beast?

3) I have stated multiple times on this blog that for a woman, you're more likely to be taken seriously in print as opposed to the other two mediums. I believe print offers the greatest opportunity to neutralize one's gender -- in short, if you can make readers forget that they're hearing from a woman, there's a better chance of being taken seriously. Granted, print is also where the money is the sparsest, so I understand the need to push towards television. No matter what your appearance, this is no easy world to deal with. In nearly ten years of messing about in this industry, I've been told to "sound sexier", "wear something pretty" and "think about being a golf cart girl or a cheerleader for a day -- it'll be a good story." Keep in mind that I'm a relatively average-looking woman who doesn't (expletive) around with work and seriously wants to discuss a team's defensive foibles -- and not which of the blueliners I may find "cute." Nothing is ever going to stop men from objectifying women in this business, but playing the straight and narrow never hurt anyone -- if you truly care about what you're doing, that is (and I believe Erin does).

What happened to Erin Andrews was totally uncalled for, and I can't imagine how she must be feeling right now. I've dealt with some creepy nonsense during my time, but nothing on par with that. All of that considered, I hope this incident causes people -- and women -- to think about the way things go down in sports media...fair, unfair or otherwise.


Related: Erin Andrews and Guilt, Imagined and Otherwise -- Deadspin
Assault on Erin Andrews' Privacy Scary For All Female Journalists -- Yahoo! Sports
Erin Andrews and The Dark Side of All This -- RandBall

For those of you who don't follow Martin Havlat on Twitter, you're missing out. Havlat initially indicated unhappiness with not being able to re-sign with the Blackhawks, and wrote that the "real story about what happened in Chicago (was) to come out", and that "there's something to be said for loyalty and honor." Now today, there's this:

"I guess everyone saw what happened to (Blackhawks GM) Dale Tallon....yes, the story is starting to come out but it's just the tip of the iceberg."

"Lot's (sic) of people are telling me to stay quiet but shouldn't the fans know the truth? It's your loyalty, season ticket money and emotions here."

So will Martin be able to spill, and better yet, can he do it in 140 characters or less?

Stay tuned -- you can follow the drama here.

P.S.: Scotty Wazz over at The Strangest One Of All has chimed in with his thoughts -- definitely worth checking out.

Initially charged this summer with the Sisyphean task of depositing the disgruntled Dany Heatley with some unfortunate buyer, Senators GM Bryan Murray may now have to consider what life (and the cap) could be like if No. 15 stays in the fold.

Owner Eugene Melnyk has already coughed up the required $4-million bonus, and the attempted swap involving the Edmonton Oilers turned into a fiasco that led absolutely nowhere.

So, what exactly, would Dany Heatley have to fear by staying in Ottawa?

Here's your answer: Absolutely nothing.

Oh sure, we've all heard about the "wrath" of the media. But keep in mind that Ottawa is unlike any other Canadian hockey market. To outside observers, it offers the cachet of a north-of-the-border team, however, players don't face the same sort of feet-to-the-flames treatment as in other cities. The capital's traditional media remains largely sheathed in situations such as these. True, they have a voice, but it's rarely one that the intelligent sports fan can take seriously. Any attempts at emotionally-based vitriol come off as juvenile, and any diplomatic observations tend to ring hollow. Naturally, there are exceptions, of course. (Aside: I'll leave you to obsess over who they might be. For me, the Citizen's James Gordon comes to mind. What say you?)

If the media won't make Heatley's life a living hell should he return, what about the fans? Keep in mind, this is the same group that could barely remember to boo Alexei Yashin five visits into his stint with the Islanders, and are content to allow Leafs, Habs and even Penguins fans to overrun their building. Sens fans aren't the type to put "For Sale" signs on players' lawns, or burn their likeness in effigy. They're passive, and if Heatley returns and goes on a blazing streak, they'll also become incredibly forgetful for the time being.

That just leaves the head coach, Cory Clouston -- the alleged impetus in this entire drama. Here's the thing about the Senators' coaching situation as of late: It's become like the weather -- wait a while, and it will likely change. Clouston was given a great deal of credit for getting the Sens back-on-track towards the end of last season (and was rewarded for it by having the "interim" tag removed from his title). But barely righting a team on the brink of disaster when all post-season hope was lost can only be taken with a grain of salt. Essentially, Clouston gave a successful refresher course on the basics -- and Ottawa did show some signs of cohesion under his tutelage. This is the young coach's first NHL gig -- does he have any legitimate tricks up his sleeve to truly get this franchise on the right track, or will he just be another in line to cast aside? Based on recent history, Dany Heatley, should he stay, likely wouldn't have to wait long to find out.

In short, the road would be rocky in the beginning if Heatley were to remain an Ottawa Senator for whatever reason. However, it's important to remember that this city, and all its facets, remains a very soft touch within the National Hockey League. Whatever Dany Heatley potentially faces if he does leave the team, will be far worse than anything he could possibly experience if he stays.

(The lazy-arse link edition)

* Newly appointed target of rage Alex Kovalev says he "(didn't) really have any options, choices" when he made his decision to come play for the Senators. Edmonton must be having a field day with this one. Hey Alex, have you ever heard of a little thing called a "white lie"? You know, like that yarn you tell people when they accuse you of losing your hair. (Ottawa Sun)

* Does Jason Spezza get a Team Canada invite with Joe Sakic's retirement likely imminent? Sens fans always did have a soft spot for unintentional comedy. (HFBoards)

* Neate Sager acts as the Voice of Reason regarding the sagas involving Steve McNair and Manny Ramirez. Without trying to sound like too much of a sycophant, it has to be said: Quebecor doesn't deserve this guy. (Out Of Left Field)

* I made a glaring omission from our luncheon table during the last blog post -- Sportsnet's Patrick King was also sitting with us. Pat's depth of knowledge during the entry draft made the majority of us look like total slackers, and he does a killer imitation of my facial expression in my passport photo. Analysis: Quality guy (despite the fact that he's younger than me, but I won't hold that against him). P.S.: He also has a Twitter account -- be sure to check it out. (Patrick King -- Sportsnet.ca)

* Whose opinion do you really want when Jason Whitlock loses it? That's right -- other cranky sports journalists...on a message board, no less. Welcome to their secret lair, and marvel at their inability to stay on-topic. (SportsJournalists.com)