Fusspot rants, embarrassing photos of yourself and general correspondence go here: universalnicks@gmail.com



- The Driver and I banter back and forth about a lot of topics -- for example, we couldn't agree on whether Danzig's Twist of Cain qualifies as a stripper song (I said yes, he said no). It was about two weeks ago when we came to a compromise, and decided that it could qualify as a first or third song in the traditional three song rotation, seeing as the second (top off) is traditionally a ballad.

(Aside -- I know way too much about strip clubs, considering that I'm basically a strip club neophyte. Don't question it...just go with it. Hands up how many of you are heading over to Limewire to download the song after you're done reading this. Yep, that's what I thought.)

Anyway, I'm getting way off topic. Our latest debate centres around whether Martin Gerber bears a close resemblance to Prison Break's Dominic Purcell (I say no, he says yes). Take a look at the photos above -- what do you think? I tried to find ones that would support The Driver's argument. Seriously -- it's just the stubble and hair, right?

- How many of you caught John Muckler's Upfront on OTR last night? My favourite part involved Muckler referring to the newly acquired No. 61 as "Spareekin". When did Don Cherry take over as GM of the Senators? You know the GM must've spent a good amount of time mulling over his impulse purchase if he's still unsure of his name. Meh -- why bother worrying about pronunciation now? It's not like the kid is staying.

- I know you might think based on my hometown heritage, that I am undoubtedly enamoured with curling and all its major competitions. Surely the day is coming when I'll regale you with tales of Al Hackner in the '80's at the Fort William Curling Club. Wrong. Curling drives me bloody bonkers, especially when it preempts my beloved PTI in its entirety. What the (expletive), TSN? Check it out: If a participant's weight is never an issue, it's not a sport. If you can do it after downing a bottle of cherry brandy, it's not a sport. If it resembles any type of household chore, it's not a sport. And yes, I know I came close to describing MLB there for a minute. Close, but no cigar. Down with the Brier...now where's my daily Dwayne Wade injury update?

- Here's one for the Elias Sports Bureau: What's the Sens' current record after experiencing a goalie change by the opposition? Something tells me it's not great.

- Do you think TSN's editing department has added Sidney Crosby to the payroll in the past fortnight? Honestly, when the Penguins now go into a shootout, 10 to 1 says someone hits the record/repeat button and walks out of the building for the night.

- More genius from inside TUC HQ: After Stuntman Stu announced Dany Heatley's 41st goal, The Driver deadpanned, "(Stu) sounds like he's falling off a cliff." It took me nearly five minutes to regain my composure.

More later.