Fusspot rants, embarrassing photos of yourself and general correspondence go here: universalnicks@gmail.com

...because we can always use a reminder. (By the way, that photo came from the CBC's own broadcast of the Leafs-Habs game on Saturday.)

Alright, so we're 80% done with the PPV for the year -- last night's tilt was shot from the world's tallest ladder in Pittsburgh. Care to zoom that angle in any more? I think we could get the ice shots down to 1 sq. ft. if we just tried harder. But as long as we're not getting a choppy image or shots from MSG, we'll put up with it, right? Reader Steve writes:

"The picture quality for the Leafs game March 8 was unacceptable,
frequent freezing and pixelating of image. I complained to Rogers and
got a refund. Didn't get the Rangers game cuz I was out of town. (Fair
to mention, given others' complaints, that the 'regular view' Rangers
games from MSG have been of poor quality as well.) Quality of last
night's game was fine."

I'd accept this if the feeds on the 13th were MSG's, but they weren't. They were the Sens'. And may I remind all of you that there have been no visible improvements in any of the broadcasts thus far. Just because Rogers improved their feed (removing any chance of pixelating) doesn't justify the amount that the Sens are charging for what is, in essence, an A-Channel broadcast.

You don't have to settle for a subpar product. Nor should you.

Most of the emails last night (less than usual seeing as a lot of you refused to pony up), concentrated on the PPV's on-air talent -- amusing, but largely unprintable. I've taken to referring to the PPVs as "Prozac-Per-View", because I'm convinced the broadcast's foursome are being paid by the compliment. I'd really love to know what would happen if one of them dared to drop some constructive criticism. Personally, I'm getting visions of them being dragged off by the front office hierarchy, and put through the plastic bag over-the-head/I.V. routine that Paul McCrane received on 24 this year. Just imagine someone holding down Grant Ledyard while Roy Mlakar is screaming in the background, "4 cc's!" The sad thing is, I know a lot of people that would pony up the $10.95 to watch the above scenario play out. My readers are sick. Funny, but sick.

Grade for last night's broadcast: C-

Grade for PPV overall: C-

Next PPV: Tuesday, April 3rd

(Aside: ***POSSIBLE 24 SPOILER*** It seems pretty damned obvious to me that the moptop imbecile teenager that's supposed to be Jack's nephew, is actually his son. He has the I.Q. of margarine, just like Elisha Cuthbert's character. It would stand to reason that they'd be related -- but that would mean the lack of intelligence was coming from Jack. That can't be true, can it? I really don't know what the deal is with Audrey. Dead maybe? All I know is that if Jack hooks up with the teenage boy's mother (possibly again), I'm going to rage. I'm already bitter they killed off the Billy Van/Assad character, and made Aaron Pierce into a handmaid that goes fruit shopping for the mentally unstable ex-First Lady. Meanwhile, I'm expecting big things from Martin Gerber and Wentworth Miller on Prison Break after leading us on a bloody wild goose chase for 16 eps. Yes, I care about these things too much. What can I say? I love my shows.)

Finally, did you see on Saturday when they announced the winner of the Kraft Hockeyville competition? North Bay was the winner, and they had live cameras situated in a North Bay bar to capture some of the local reaction. I swear to God, when their city's name was announced, someone starting screaming and it sounded just like former U.S. Presidential candidate, Howard Dean. "And we're going to Abbotsford, and Moncton, and Yorkton, and Cochrane...and then we're goin' to North Bay for Kraft Hockeyville! YAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGH!"

Leftovers to come. More later.