Fusspot rants, embarrassing photos of yourself and general correspondence go here: universalnicks@gmail.com

Obviously there isn't much to talk about if the media is still going on about incidents in St. Louis and Pittsburgh. By the way, my favourite part of the St. Louis game involved the constant shots of John Davidson furiously texting on his Blackberry (or similar), after the non-goal-but-really-was-a-goal. I'm guessing the correspondence looked like this:

To: garybettman@nhl.com
CC: stephenwalkom@nhl.com
From: johndavidson@stlouisblues.com

WTF!!!111 *pissed*

To: johndavidson@stlouisblues.com
CC: mickmcgeough@nhl.com
From: garybettman@nhl.com

LMAO! PWNED!!!! :)~

(Aside: You know that all NHL front office members send missives that appear to have been written by a 14-year-old, right? By the way, those aren't real email addresses, so don't even try.)

It's unbelievable to me that the most brutal ref in the league (it's a tight race to be sure) shares the same surnname (in pronunciation) as a legally blind cartoon character. Why isn't Deadspin on this?


At about 2:30 am on Wednesday morning, I went back to watch the Edmonton-Ottawa game from February 20th that I had saved on my PVR (one of the best games of the year, by the way). I did this because I remembered Martin Gerber had played in that game, and I wanted to compare his performances. There wasn't that much difference that I could see: His positioning is better, and he doesn't cower in the back of the net as much, so I'll give him credit for that. The biggest issues that still remain: 1) Loose pucks and rebounds; 2) Not knowing where the puck is and 3) Plodding overall movement that always seems to be half a second behind the play. During one attempted save in the St. Louis game, Gerber reached back and over his head with his trapper in a slow, sweeping gesture, long after the puck had flown past him. It reminded me a lot of the manatees The Driver and I swam with in Central Florida last month.

Wait a sec -- if manatees are methodically slow and gentle, and Gerber is methodically slow and gentle...

Looks like someone's got himself a new moniker.

Just for the record, my NCAA bracket still lives. I went 26-6 in the first round, and a disappointing 9-7 in the second. Biggest troublemakers so far: UNLV, who haven't been relevant since I was in junior high (until now), Louisville and Winthrop (Cinderella team, my ass). I had them beating Notre Dame in the first round, and Oregon in the second. A long shot to be sure, but Oregon bugs me. Check that...their colours bug me.

(Now I'm starting to sound like Bill Simmons' wife, so I'll just stop there.)

Anyway, three of my final four are still alive, and I've got Georgetown beating Joakim Noah and his muumuu in the championship game.


One thing I'm not looking forward to if the Sens play Pittsburgh in the postseason: Their oversensitive fans. (And yes, they are more sensitive than Sens fans -- trust me.) I guarantee if the two teams faced each other, and I wrote something like, "Sidney Crosby dives more than Greg Louganis", a number of Penguins fans would likely email and accuse me of being homophobic. On the plus side, they have amazing foreshadowing skills and kick ass at decoupage.

And finally, just out of curiosity, do you think this person still thinks Pittsburgh won't make the playoffs?