Martin Gerber will not face his old team tonight, as Ron Wilson announced that Curtis Joseph will start in goal tonight against the Ottawa Senators at Scotiabank Place.
Wilson said that he set his goaltender rotation last week and Gerber is slated to play tomorrow against the New York Islanders. Joseph was in goal at Scotiabank Place nine days ago, when the Leafs defeated the Sens 4-3 in OT.
In other news, Jason Smith's buggered knee will keep him out of the lineup for 10-14 days -- hence the call-up of the Babyface. Sigh. Bad times.
Welcome to your first post for 2009. It almost didn't happen because, frankly, I was a bit burnt out on the whole idea. But then, two things happened:
1) I had to fire the old girl up last night to help someone obtain a bit of information that I knew I had kept on here, and I got a bit sentimental about it;
2) You bloody people wouldn't leave me alone.
"Erin, what's wrong with the blog? Why can't I see the blog? When's the blog coming back? Why don't you love me anymore? Do these pants make my ass look big?"
(Okay, only a couple of you included the last sentence in your missives, but you get my drift.)
I couldn't answer every e-mail, but the point is -- I was on a break. Now I'm back. Breathe...it'll be okay. Thank you for your patience, and as always, your commitment to my sports-related insanity via deciphered binary code.
Let's catch up, shall we? Here's what went down while I was gone:
1) The Driver and I did quite a lot of the World Junior thing -- I thought the Swedes were the mad hotness for most of the tournament, and watching them throw up all over themselves in the final was pretty brutal. (Hurrah for the homeland and all that good stuff. Uh, I guess.) I'm in solid agreement with most that Erik Karlsson definitely is on the right track, and will likely be in a Senators uniform sooner rather than later. His play gets a bit too pretty at times, but that can be remedied with the correct grooming. I think he's further along in his development than Brian Lee was during his stints at the WJC (keep in mind at that time, the U.S. defence was quite deep and Lee's contributions were minimal at best -- the Swedes also brought a detailed blueline core, and many agree that Karlsson was at the forefront of the group).
(Aside: Thanks to JB for all his hook-ups during the tournament. Dude, I owe you a couple of beers or a trip to California. I'll let you pick which one.)
2) US Weekly approached me to dig up dirt on Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood. Seriously. For the record, I didn't do it. Check it out: This is me being nice in 2009.
3) I've received an offer to go fishing with the Hanson Brothers this summer. Seriously (reprise). I'm still mulling it over because I'm paranoid I'd fall out of the boat. That being said, it would've made for one hell of a column, if Sun Media hadn't allocated my salary towards hot air balloon repairs. Stay tuned on this one.
4) Regarding The Manatee: Sigh. In the end, I put him in the same category as Joe Corvo -- it didn't work out, but let's get real: He never should've been brought here in the first place, and a lot of the expectations could be connected to the fact that he was overpaid. That's not his fault. Gerber was a good teammate who never rocked the boat, and handled so much of the unnecessary drama in Ottawa with an unbelievable amount of class. Swim on, Sea Cow. Best of luck to you.
5) I was in Vegas recently and witnessed the AFC and NFC championships from the MGM Grand's sports book. Good times, bad smoke. To say there was an unbelievable amount of action on the Cardinals would be the understatement of the century. (By the way, I kept looking for a line on how many times Kurt Warner would thank Jesus after the big win. There were none. Lunacy.) Anyway, The Driver is pleased as all hell because The Buzzsaw is his 1a team, after the Chargers. (Just to clear things up: I am not dating Will Leitch. There was another dude who liked the Cardinals before all this happened. I just happen to live with him.)
I know, I know. "What does this have to do with hockey?!?" Calm down, chickadees. I'm getting to that.
Here were the odds to win the Stanley Cup this year for all 30 teams, as of January 12th. Your degenerate gamblers call these "futures bets". And yes, you're reading that correctly: The Senators -- after starting the year at 12/1 -- were an 80/1 bet as of mid-January. The freaking Kings had better odds than that. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Eugene. (More on him in the next post, by the way.)
Anyway, I wasn't in Vegas to bet on football or scrutinize the hockey odds -- I went down to see Pennywise and the Circle Jerks (then Pennywise again with Pulley the next night) at the House of Blues. Here's a clip from the show, which includes footage of the biggest man I ever interviewed. And don't bitch to me about how this has nothing to do with sports. My blog, my rules. Next you'll be expecting me to turn into some lankster who plays bass guitar on the side. Wait...what?
Yeah hey, says I. It's good to be back. More later.
P.S.: You'll also notice for the first time in years (literally) we're giving the peanut gallery a trial run. Media and professional franchises, govern yourselves accordingly -- anonymous comments are difficult to pull off when the joint is rigged with site meters. Just saying.
This is why TUC HQ loves Prison Break: It's the one show where you can watch a reasonable facsimile of Martin Gerber physically threaten an extremely reasonable facsimile of Roy Mlakar.
(Confused? Read the second part of this post. Oh, and thanks for joining us.)
In other non-news, get ready to steel yourselves for additional drunken antics from the OBC via live blog this evening. Most of the crew (minus yours truly, who's currently tied up with other business) should be attending this Atlanta-related affair. Make your presence known at around 6:45 pm EST or so -- bring your dancing shoes, but prepare to duck SLC after he's had a couple. Dude's been known to get a little frisky.
...because we concur with Greg Hetson's succinct take on Ottawa's MLS bid: "What the (expletive)?"
(Ed. note: Expect the regular Deglaze to move back to its traditional spot on Mondays -- Tuesday at the latest -- once the season gets underway.)
This is one of those stories that has been brewing for some time, but no one's really hit on it until now. News flash: Christoph Schubert wants to be a full-time defenceman. Here are the relevant quotes:
After three years as a swingman, Schubert is more adamant than ever that he wants to settle into a full-time job on the blue line and leave his left-wing playing days behind.
"I know he wants to be a defenceman but you know what, he wants to play in the NHL," said Hartsburg. "I think it's great a player like that can do both."
"I'm not going to say no," he said when asked about playing left wing. "But I said from the beginning, I want to be back there. That's what I'm fighting for right now. The coaches told me before camp ... focus on being on defence, and that's what I'm doing. (They said) it's not going to be back and forth anymore."
In regards to Schubert, Ottawa has pushed the versatility angle for some time. No. 5 has always dropped hints that he prefers to be working the blueline as opposed to left wing, but this is the first time (in recent memory) that he's been so blatant. Unfortunately for the German ginge*, he's not in a position to be making demands -- after all, he's not a top-4 defenceman. Schubert's grit has come in handy as a forward, but his offensive ability is limited and on most nights he falls into the over referenced category of "energy player". So now what? If Schubert truly becomes unhappy with the situation, he'd have to ask for a trade -- the 26-year-old won't be a UFA until 2010-'11. In short, the ball is in his court. If Schubert wants to be a permanent blueliner, he'll have to force the Sens staff to picture him that way -- a reliable, quality defenceman as opposed to a plug-the-holes hybrid.
***
In the past, this blog has discussed The Driver's insistence that Prison Break's Dominic Purcell bears a striking resemblance to our No. 1 Manatee, Martin Gerber. Well, it's worth noting that the Fox drama has added another Senators-esque element to its repertoire. To be fair, The General (a.k.a The Padman) made his first appearance last season, but it wasn't until this year that we really got to know him. Take a look at that picture, and tell me he doesn't look like Senators' President and CEO Roy Mlakar. (Here's a link to the same picture in a smaller format, but with less shadow.) For the record, The General is the head of a shady group called "The Company" -- we don't quite know what they do yet...we just know they get extremely agitated if you cause them any grief. *twiddling thumbs*
***
A quick show of hands: Who's happy to see Brendan Bell being shipped to Bingo? "Ooh...hometown boy angle -- let's be sure to run that into the ground!" The damn kid couldn't hang in Toronto, but because he's from the 613, we'll talk him up like he's got a shot. Whaa? I know the defence is in dire straits, but come on now. In other news, the team heads for Sweden tomorrow and Cody Bass has stuck around. You may have noticed Bass getting a lot of run on some of the other Sens blogs -- trust us, there's a reason. Details to come...stay tuned.
***
And finally, it wouldn't be a Deglaze without a media mention: Someone would like you to notice that he was right. Notice, damnit!
According to insiders, Ottawa would trade netminder Martin Gerber and defenceman Andrej Meszaros to Los Angeles, the Kings would move 20-year-old centre Anze Kopitar to Chicago and the Blackhawks would propel goalie Nikolai Khabibulin and either of young blueliners Brent Seabrook or Cam Barker to the Senators.
On the surface, it seems the deal could be a rare win-win-win.
I know the mindset's a bit different in SoCal, but I've got to think there's no way in hell L.A. is giving up Kopitar, especially for that tandem. Kopitar is part of the young core that the Kings want to build around. Yes, it's true that they're looking for a puck-moving defenceman and a proper No. 1 goaltender. But who wants to settle for Andrej Meszaros as their premier offensive blueliner, and a mid-level-at-best goaltender on last year of his contract? Don't worry, I see you working: You think it doesn't matter, because The Manatee's overall performance would indicate that a paycut is coming after next season, and that L.A. could re-sign him for cheap, if they wanted to. Only thing is, L.A.'s got money to burn -- 27 million and change for 2008-09 alone (according to NHLSCAP). In short, if they want a big name in net, they've got the cash to pay him.
L.A. is a craptastic team right now, but they've got a couple of talented young pieces in place to build upon. Why would they hand them over for the NHL's equivalent of two Hollywood C-listers?
(Ed. Note: Right now, TUC's aiming to use all the song titles from SNFU's "If You Swear, You'll Catch No Fish", despite their occasional grammatical errors. Deal with it.)
(Pictured -- Foreground: Chris Phillips/Wade Redden. Background: Gary Roberts. The second guy -- meh, I'm too tired to decide who that is.)
That's right, ladies: If you're so damned scared of Gary Roberts, you might as well scream and get it over with. At least we'd all know you were capable of showing some emotion.
It pains me to come after Phillips because I respect him as a player, but could he have looked any more like a deer in the headlights on that fourth goal? The old man was right there -- take him out, damnit! Redden has completely checked out of the game, both mentally and physically. He practically cowered in Roberts' presence on the first goal, and the coughing up of pucks in the Sens zone were enough to make your stomach turn. As for 14 -- taking an interference penalty instead of sacrificing for the hit during an icing call? Do we need to say any more? (Actually, yes...we do. Keep the freaking puck in your zone during the power play, and learn how to land a shot on net.)
And how about that comedy of errors along the end boards during the second involving Lee, McAmmond, Roberts and Laraque in various combinations? You've got 55 feebly hammering on Laraque's back, and the whole time Chris Neil is standing around doing nothing in the high slot. I guess he was prepping to go down the ice so the team could end up with 19 missed shots through two periods as opposed to 18.
That brings me to Bitch Point No. 3: Garry Galley's claim that the Sens missed many shots because the Penguins were in their shooting lanes was semi-valid, but what about this: Maybe if the club wasn't so predictable on special teams, the opposition wouldn't be able to do so? Just a thought. Strangely enough, I didn't hear anyone mention anything about whiffed shots (I saw quite a few last night), and that's been a problem for some time.
I also noticed Galley trying to explain how tired Nick Foligno must've been during the third goal (hence the reason for him gliding around, bent in half). Just for a refresher, here's what I said about Foligno when I saw him at the summer developmental camp last year:
Nick Foligno: It's obvious the kid tries hard, particularly with his skating, but he still needs a lot of work. His backwards skating was laboured, but better than some of the forwards I saw (see Zubov). Granted, that still isn't saying much. Foligno has initial bursts of speed which are impressive (10-15 seconds), but has difficulty maintaining stamina. He does carry himself with a great deal of confidence. What he's able to accomplish in Binghamton (when the time comes) will matter a great deal -- it'll mean the difference between him turning into a second-line contributor, or a third-line filler. Right now, I see the latter.
You looking for a bright spot? Here it is:
Yes, he looked like hell in the first, but those goals can't be pinned on him. He stood tall in the second (huge flipper save when Volchenkov went down), and did as much as he could to keep them in it through the third period. He's not Patrick Roy -- no one expected to be. The man can only do so much...and he can't score goals. Once again, the club let him down. I want to see him lose it on someone, just for the hell of it. He'd probably feel a lot better. Swiss seacow rage!
Volchenkov's not the only one with a bloody headache tonight. Sigh. More later.
P.S. An unrelated note, but worth mentioning: Both San Jose and Minnesota played Metallica tonight (the Sharks went with "Seek And Destroy" as they typically do when they come on the ice, and the Wild played "Breadfan" during a break, which was beyond awesome.)
Sorry for the lack of posts -- I'm caught up in a bit of bracket madness. Only I would take two weekends to sort this out (one to decide which sites I'm signing up for and the other to actually fill out the brackets themselves). The whole thing is kind of ironic because I'm a total "Miss Chalk", as Michael Wilbon would say. Have I mentioned how much I love March Madness? The nonstop action...the one and done...the ability to get down...the cinderella stories...the ability to get down...
(I totally should be in Vegas right now.)
On a semi-related topic, did you read The Sports Gal's column on the NCAA? I want to be friends with Bill Simmons' wife. Here's a sampling:
Tennessee (2) over Butler (7): Bill was watching Memphis play Tennessee recently and said they were the two best teams, so I remember that one. He doesn't think I pay attention, but I do. Unless he's having an annoying sports call with his friends. Then I start slamming cabinets and thinking of ways to make the dogs bark.
Take note: This is how you play the dumb chick role in sports for the purpose of humour. The only thing is, I don't think she's joking.
In other news, I'll be hitting up the St. Louis game tonight (and am fully relieved by the news that The Manatee will be starting -- it'll prevent me from heckling during the starting lineup announcements). Seeing as that I've been blogging a lot more lately, I fully expect a franchise rep to track me down and throw me out of the building.
(That's a joke, OSHC lurkers. Just because you don't have a sense of humour doesn't mean the rest of us must follow suit.)
A couple more things...
Surely you must have heard about this by now. Two questions: 1) How many kicks at the can does the CFL need in Ottawa and 2) Why is this city so hellbent on repeatedly humiliating itself?
And finally...for all those who cry, "What does this have to do with hockey?!?" whenever lighter fare is presented, may I present the following statistic: The post currently with the highest hits for searches and views on TUC is this one. No hypocrisy there, I'm sure.
Sorry...have been tied up with other duties. My belated (yet still relevant) thoughts regarding the Monday night game should come later on today...maybe. I'll tell you this much: My happiest moment came when The Manatee raged on The Faucet. Don't (expletive) with the Swiss Sea Cow, kids.
Obviously there isn't much to talk about if the media is still going on about incidents in St. Louis and Pittsburgh. By the way, my favourite part of the St. Louis game involved the constant shots of John Davidson furiously texting on his Blackberry (or similar), after the non-goal-but-really-was-a-goal. I'm guessing the correspondence looked like this:
To: garybettman@nhl.com CC: stephenwalkom@nhl.com From: johndavidson@stlouisblues.com
WTF!!!111 *pissed*
To: johndavidson@stlouisblues.com CC: mickmcgeough@nhl.com From: garybettman@nhl.com
LMAO! PWNED!!!! :)~
(Aside: You know that all NHL front office members send missives that appear to have been written by a 14-year-old, right? By the way, those aren't real email addresses, so don't even try.)
It's unbelievable to me that the most brutal ref in the league (it's a tight race to be sure) shares the same surnname (in pronunciation) as a legally blind cartoon character. Why isn't Deadspin on this?
________
At about 2:30 am on Wednesday morning, I went back to watch the Edmonton-Ottawa game from February 20th that I had saved on my PVR (one of the best games of the year, by the way). I did this because I remembered Martin Gerber had played in that game, and I wanted to compare his performances. There wasn't that much difference that I could see: His positioning is better, and he doesn't cower in the back of the net as much, so I'll give him credit for that. The biggest issues that still remain: 1) Loose pucks and rebounds; 2) Not knowing where the puck is and 3) Plodding overall movement that always seems to be half a second behind the play. During one attempted save in the St. Louis game, Gerber reached back and over his head with his trapper in a slow, sweeping gesture, long after the puck had flown past him. It reminded me a lot of the manatees The Driver and I swam with in Central Florida last month.
Wait a sec -- if manatees are methodically slow and gentle, and Gerber is methodically slow and gentle...
Looks like someone's got himself a new moniker. ___________
Just for the record, my NCAA bracket still lives. I went 26-6 in the first round, and a disappointing 9-7 in the second. Biggest troublemakers so far: UNLV, who haven't been relevant since I was in junior high (until now), Louisville and Winthrop (Cinderella team, my ass). I had them beating Notre Dame in the first round, and Oregon in the second. A long shot to be sure, but Oregon bugs me. Check that...their colours bug me.
(Now I'm starting to sound like Bill Simmons' wife, so I'll just stop there.)
Anyway, three of my final four are still alive, and I've got Georgetown beating Joakim Noah and his muumuu in the championship game.
___________
One thing I'm not looking forward to if the Sens play Pittsburgh in the postseason: Their oversensitive fans. (And yes, they are more sensitive than Sens fans -- trust me.) I guarantee if the two teams faced each other, and I wrote something like, "Sidney Crosby dives more than Greg Louganis", a number of Penguins fans would likely email and accuse me of being homophobic. On the plus side, they have amazing foreshadowing skills and kick ass at decoupage.
And finally, just out of curiosity, do you think this person still thinks Pittsburgh won't make the playoffs?
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