The Universal Cynic

Cynics, you can't imagine my happiness after returning from the U.S. yesterday to this glorious news. Birds are singing, deer are eating from my hand...I feel like I'm in a Disney movie (or an election campaign for Barack Obama). Read it one more time for good measure:

To make up for the loss of grit, the Senators recalled Cody Bass from Binghamton of the AHL. In 16 games with the Baby Sens this season, Bass has one goal and one assist while adding 37 minutes in penalties.

Just ignore those stats that make our boy seem like he serves less of a purpose. The Senators backed up the Brinks truck to guys like Spezza and Heatley -- they can score the goals. The OBC's player of choice is here to kick some ass along the boards, to mock the ways of yore, and to add some general intrigue to a team that lately, is the equivalent of an Ambien tablet with a warm milk chaser. The OBC will quietly standby to see how Bass' call-up develops. If he looks like he'll be staying for a while, be warned: We're coming for you, and we're armed with poly-cotton blend.

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For the uninitiated, The Ottawa Bloggers Collective consists of the following misfits:

Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Creator of massive e-mail chains and general Deadspin honk

Freewillig: Keeping tabs on the team from below the 49th parallel

Miss Meaghan: Balancing out the estrogen representation for the OBC on the West Coast

Miss Sherry: Responsible for infiltration behind enemy lines and quirky antics

Senators' Lost Cojones: Her Majesty's Keeper of all things Simpsons-related

TUC: Rumour-mongering, punk rock and giving sports media the bitchface

Now you know. No more questions...we have much work to do.

(Photo Credit: The mad hotness that is Scarlett Ice)

Sherry from SI had an up-close encounter with OBC favourite Cody Bass during the Toronto Marlies' home opener last night -- click the link for all the details.

The Sens' coolness and general intrigue factor dropped through the freaking floor today, when news broke that the big club was sending OBC favourite Cody Bass down to Bingo. Oh, and for the record, Brian Elliott got the boot to New York State as well (translation: BFD). This revelation brings the joint blog project between TUC, Scarlett Ice, Five For Smiting and Hockeyschlock to a screeching halt...at least for the foreseeable future. That being said, this little venture of ours will be bloody awesome when the time comes. Bass can't get back to Ottawa soon enough -- at least not for the five of us. In the meantime...uh...all hail Jesse Winchester?

Pfft...you can't make a slogan out of that.

More later.

...because we concur with Greg Hetson's succinct take on Ottawa's MLS bid: "What the (expletive)?"

(Ed. note: Expect the regular Deglaze to move back to its traditional spot on Mondays -- Tuesday at the latest -- once the season gets underway.)


This is one of those stories that has been brewing for some time, but no one's really hit on it until now. News flash: Christoph Schubert wants to be a full-time defenceman. Here are the relevant quotes:

After three years as a swingman, Schubert is more adamant than ever that he wants to settle into a full-time job on the blue line and leave his left-wing playing days behind.

"I know he wants to be a defenceman but you know what, he wants to play in the NHL," said Hartsburg. "I think it's great a player like that can do both."

"I'm not going to say no," he said when asked about playing left wing. "But I said from the beginning, I want to be back there. That's what I'm fighting for right now. The coaches told me before camp ... focus on being on defence, and that's what I'm doing. (They said) it's not going to be back and forth anymore."

In regards to Schubert, Ottawa has pushed the versatility angle for some time. No. 5 has always dropped hints that he prefers to be working the blueline as opposed to left wing, but this is the first time (in recent memory) that he's been so blatant. Unfortunately for the German ginge*, he's not in a position to be making demands -- after all, he's not a top-4 defenceman. Schubert's grit has come in handy as a forward, but his offensive ability is limited and on most nights he falls into the over referenced category of "energy player". So now what? If Schubert truly becomes unhappy with the situation, he'd have to ask for a trade -- the 26-year-old won't be a UFA until 2010-'11. In short, the ball is in his court. If Schubert wants to be a permanent blueliner, he'll have to force the Sens staff to picture him that way -- a reliable, quality defenceman as opposed to a plug-the-holes hybrid.

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In the past, this blog has discussed The Driver's insistence that Prison Break's Dominic Purcell bears a striking resemblance to our No. 1 Manatee, Martin Gerber. Well, it's worth noting that the Fox drama has added another Senators-esque element to its repertoire. To be fair, The General (a.k.a The Padman) made his first appearance last season, but it wasn't until this year that we really got to know him. Take a look at that picture, and tell me he doesn't look like Senators' President and CEO Roy Mlakar. (Here's a link to the same picture in a smaller format, but with less shadow.) For the record, The General is the head of a shady group called "The Company" -- we don't quite know what they do yet...we just know they get extremely agitated if you cause them any grief. *twiddling thumbs*

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A quick show of hands: Who's happy to see Brendan Bell being shipped to Bingo? "Ooh...hometown boy angle -- let's be sure to run that into the ground!" The damn kid couldn't hang in Toronto, but because he's from the 613, we'll talk him up like he's got a shot. Whaa? I know the defence is in dire straits, but come on now. In other news, the team heads for Sweden tomorrow and Cody Bass has stuck around. You may have noticed Bass getting a lot of run on some of the other Sens blogs -- trust us, there's a reason. Details to come...stay tuned.

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And finally, it wouldn't be a Deglaze without a media mention: Someone would like you to notice that he was right. Notice, damnit!

More later.

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*This seems like a lift from Dlisted, right?

Honest to God, we just landed back in the capital all of two hours ago after a glorious four days spent in the Land of Staalapalooza. The Driver and I were getting ready to head back to Kanata (just as rush hour traffic was beginning -- stellar move), and decided to turn on the Team 1200 on the way. (We've been reading nothing but the Chronicle-Journal for the past little while, so it's going to take a couple of days to get back on the horse. Be patient, it'll come.) Anyway, we flip on the drive-time show, and the following bombs were dropped in a matter of minutes by the hosts:

1) "Chris Phillips should become an offensive defenceman" and "play a role on the PP";

2) "Brian Lee looks like he's been playing in the league for 4 to 5 years" (I don't care what happened while we were gone, there's no way this can be true);

3) One of the hosts was completely in the dark regarding the schedule and opponents for the games in Sweden.

I was so lovely and relaxed in the Lakehead -- 30 minutes back in Ottawa and that's shot all to hell. On the plus side, word came down today that Cody Bass has passed the latest round of cuts. Ottawa bloggers, commence with the virtual high fives.

More later.

Expect things to be quiet around here for a bit -- I caught some sort of American superbug in San Diego and it's taking its toll. Hockey Night in La Jolla is still coming. As for last night -- just a few thoughts...

- The media who bitch about the Sens not dishing out repercussions with any degree of sincerity are hilarious. How long have you watched this team, ladies? Chris Neil is good for a yapfest, a pointless 10-minute misconduct and the occasional pee-wee toe drag. That's about it.

- I've replayed the tape in HD slo-mo at least 15 times. It was not a hit to the head, and Alfie has admitted as much. Bell caught a bit of his chin, but it was largely a shoulder to shoulder hit. The way 11's helmet sprang like a champagne cork had much more to do with his head issues. He should consider himself lucky that he came down on his shoulder first, but watching his bare head hit that ice is just brutal. As for the hit itself...what do we call that around here, kids? That's right -- Mustang Ranch. Just 'cause it's legal doesn't make it right.

- To me, it looks like 11's knee injury came from the blow as well -- there was no knee-on-knee that I saw. Alfie's right knee is bent inward as he took the shot, then the force of Bell's hit sent it immediately in the opposite direction. It was a side-to-side motion that could've caused some wrenching of ligaments. As for Fisher? You could sneeze on the dude and his knee would blow out. Damned if I know what happened there. 12 says Bell went knee-on-knee on him. I'll go look for it.

- Don't expect Bass to keep up that type of offensive production, but if he could, that's the type of fourth-liner this team desperately needs. I also woke up to some e-mails this morning, asking for "Kick his ass, C. Bass!" t-shirts. I want to, but...does Ottawa get this joke? Give me your thoughts, and we'll see how it progresses.

- And from the "Sorry, but it's true" files: At least this team now has a built-in excuse for tanking in the playoffs (assuming they get there). Should they use it? No. Will they? Do you even have to ask?

More later.