The Universal Cynic

Mike Zeisberger of the Toronto Sun on TSN's Off The Record yesterday:

"I keep hearing how Ottawa fans want a puck-moving defenceman. What was Joe Corvo?"

Sigh.

DE-FENCE-MAN. Can we please focus on that word, kids? It's kind of important right now.

It does Ottawa no good if a player can move the puck, but can't be trusted in his own zone. Yes, I know there are stay-at-home guys, but come on -- their first job is to defend. If not, they'd be forwards. Ottawa has seen guys like Joe Corvo, Wade Redden and Andrej Meszaros come and go. What did they all have in common? They could move the puck (some better than others), but they were also the source of many of a myocardial infarction when the play came into the Senators' end.

Don't gloss over the issue, because this isn't just an obsession about the breakout pass. It has to be the right guy -- one who can be trusted both in front of and behind the blueline.

More later.

From TSN.ca:

The Ottawa Senators finally resolved their contract dispute with defenceman Andrej Meszaros on Friday, trading the restricted free agent to the ever-changing Tampa Bay Lightning.

In exchange, the Senators received defencemen Filip Kuba and Alexandre Picard and a first round pick the Lightning previously acquired from the San Jose Sharks.

There isn't a major discrepancy on offense between Kuba and Meszaros, which bodes well for Ottawa -- a club that already is dealing with a loss of firepower at the blueline. In the last two seasons, Kuba scored 31 points in 2007-'08, and 37 in the year prior. Meszaros recorded 36 and 35 points during the same period. Ottawa will once again lose some youth -- Kuba is 31 years old and up for unrestricted free agency in 2009-'10. He is slated to make $3 million next season (a far cry from the 4.5 that 14 was asking for, and the 4 million he is rumoured to be receiving from Tampa). As for Picard, he's a young add-on, but Tampa Bay fans on the message boards are informing Ottawa supporters that the kid is fun to watch and will "hit anything that moves". If true, his development should be interesting to follow.

Reaction to the trade seems to be mixed thus far. Many continue to obsess about a wildly extravagant offer sheet for Meszaros that may or may not have existed. The important thing to remember is that Meszaros' regression left Ottawa in a major bind. Yes, he could contribute offensively, but his play in his own zone left a lot to be desired. It was an unfortunate revelation, considering his highly impressive rookie season as a Senator. Gambling with a lengthy contract in the hopes that his game would solidify was not an option -- 14 was never a sure thing, and the money he demanded from the Sens was more than they could afford. Now it's a matter of observing how Kuba fits into the mix -- better, worse or same. File this one under "To Be Continued".

More later.

From today's Sun:

According to insiders, Ottawa would trade netminder Martin Gerber and defenceman Andrej Meszaros to Los Angeles, the Kings would move 20-year-old centre Anze Kopitar to Chicago and the Blackhawks would propel goalie Nikolai Khabibulin and either of young blueliners Brent Seabrook or Cam Barker to the Senators.

On the surface, it seems the deal could be a rare win-win-win.

I know the mindset's a bit different in SoCal, but I've got to think there's no way in hell L.A. is giving up Kopitar, especially for that tandem. Kopitar is part of the young core that the Kings want to build around. Yes, it's true that they're looking for a puck-moving defenceman and a proper No. 1 goaltender. But who wants to settle for Andrej Meszaros as their premier offensive blueliner, and a mid-level-at-best goaltender on last year of his contract? Don't worry, I see you working: You think it doesn't matter, because The Manatee's overall performance would indicate that a paycut is coming after next season, and that L.A. could re-sign him for cheap, if they wanted to. Only thing is, L.A.'s got money to burn -- 27 million and change for 2008-09 alone (according to NHLSCAP). In short, if they want a big name in net, they've got the cash to pay him.

L.A. is a craptastic team right now, but they've got a couple of talented young pieces in place to build upon. Why would they hand them over for the NHL's equivalent of two Hollywood C-listers?

P.S. Sherry concurs. Hurrah for Ottawa blogger rage!

(Ed. Note: Right now, TUC's aiming to use all the song titles from SNFU's "If You Swear, You'll Catch No Fish", despite their occasional grammatical errors. Deal with it.)



(Pictured -- Foreground: Chris Phillips/Wade Redden. Background: Gary Roberts. The second guy -- meh, I'm too tired to decide who that is.)

That's right, ladies: If you're so damned scared of Gary Roberts, you might as well scream and get it over with. At least we'd all know you were capable of showing some emotion.

It pains me to come after Phillips because I respect him as a player, but could he have looked any more like a deer in the headlights on that fourth goal? The old man was right there -- take him out, damnit! Redden has completely checked out of the game, both mentally and physically. He practically cowered in Roberts' presence on the first goal, and the coughing up of pucks in the Sens zone were enough to make your stomach turn. As for 14 -- taking an interference penalty instead of sacrificing for the hit during an icing call? Do we need to say any more? (Actually, yes...we do. Keep the freaking puck in your zone during the power play, and learn how to land a shot on net.)

And how about that comedy of errors along the end boards during the second involving Lee, McAmmond, Roberts and Laraque in various combinations? You've got 55 feebly hammering on Laraque's back, and the whole time Chris Neil is standing around doing nothing in the high slot. I guess he was prepping to go down the ice so the team could end up with 19 missed shots through two periods as opposed to 18.

That brings me to Bitch Point No. 3: Garry Galley's claim that the Sens missed many shots because the Penguins were in their shooting lanes was semi-valid, but what about this: Maybe if the club wasn't so predictable on special teams, the opposition wouldn't be able to do so? Just a thought. Strangely enough, I didn't hear anyone mention anything about whiffed shots (I saw quite a few last night), and that's been a problem for some time.

I also noticed Galley trying to explain how tired Nick Foligno must've been during the third goal (hence the reason for him gliding around, bent in half). Just for a refresher, here's what I said about Foligno when I saw him at the summer developmental camp last year:

Nick Foligno: It's obvious the kid tries hard, particularly with his skating, but he still needs a lot of work. His backwards skating was laboured, but better than some of the forwards I saw (see Zubov). Granted, that still isn't saying much. Foligno has initial bursts of speed which are impressive (10-15 seconds), but has difficulty maintaining stamina. He does carry himself with a great deal of confidence. What he's able to accomplish in Binghamton (when the time comes) will matter a great deal -- it'll mean the difference between him turning into a second-line contributor, or a third-line filler. Right now, I see the latter.

You looking for a bright spot? Here it is:



Yes, he looked like hell in the first, but those goals can't be pinned on him. He stood tall in the second (huge flipper save when Volchenkov went down), and did as much as he could to keep them in it through the third period. He's not Patrick Roy -- no one expected to be. The man can only do so much...and he can't score goals. Once again, the club let him down. I want to see him lose it on someone, just for the hell of it. He'd probably feel a lot better. Swiss seacow rage!

Volchenkov's not the only one with a bloody headache tonight. Sigh. More later.

P.S. An unrelated note, but worth mentioning: Both San Jose and Minnesota played Metallica tonight (the Sharks went with "Seek And Destroy" as they typically do when they come on the ice, and the Wild played "Breadfan" during a break, which was beyond awesome.)

Apologies for the lack of attention paid to last night's game -- things are a bit busy around TUC HQ. A win's a win, even if I wasn't overly convinced. Is it just me, or did the tandem of Meszaros and Commodore lead to involuntary muscle twitching for all viewers? No matter...let's give credit for the win to Sherry's new mascot and Brian Lee's overgrown haircut.

While we're on the subject of pets -- I know some of you have noticed an addition to the "About Me" section in the top right-hand corner. I guess it's about time she makes her debut:



The beagle shown here is Miss Eleanor Southworth Ewing -- better known as Miss Ellie. She's named after Barbara Bel Geddes' epic matriarchal character on Dallas, and appears to be fitting in nicely at TUC's household. She's a bit of a tomboy, so we imagine she could eventually take after Kent and offer her own take on the entry draft.

TUC is a firm believer in helping out animals in trouble -- Miss Ellie was discovered at a shelter in Almonte through Petfinder, but going directly to the various chapters of the Humane Society is also an excellent choice for anyone looking for a pet. Please check out any rescue options first before considering a breeder or pet store -- stray animals need homes too.

Thanks for listening. More later.

Joe Corvo to Ottawa media: "Eat it"

(Okay, he didn't say that -- but his play sure as hell did.)

The Driver was cheering for a hat trick, and I have to admit -- part of me was as well. I've made my stance on Corvo quite clear: I don't think he should have been a Senator to begin with, but I didn't condone the way he was treated. Is everyone through obsessing over the former No. 7, and can we put a stop to the juvenile name calling by the mainstream media? It's about time people grow up and let it go. Corvo's got scoreboard. Allow the guy have his day in the sun for Christ's sakes. He deserves it.

You want to throw a defenceman under the bus who's still with the team? I nominate Andrej Meszaros and Wade Redden for starters. The former might cause more blatant errors on a regular basis, but the latter makes me (expletive) bonkers. What the hell is Redden's damage, anyway? His words said he wanted to stay, but his play indicates anything but. His game is utterly passionless; he looks like he's barely going through the motions. This may seem harsh, but to me Redden personifies every negative sentiment that this team has been subjected to -- the soft, passive choking losers that naysayers expect the club to turn into come playoff time. I can't say that about other veterans on this team: Phillips always cranks it up in the post-season, and we all know what Alfie has done to redeem himself (and then some). I'm sure Redden must care, but damned if I can see it -- it doesn't look like he gives a (expletive) about his play for this team, but he has to realize it's going to have an effect on his future contract. Shouldn't he take that into consideration?

A couple more things for tonight...

How killer is that Carolina crowd? They used to get all kinds of crap for not showing any enthusiasm. They make the fans in SBP look like a joke -- granted, that isn't difficult to do. And by the way, their Howard Finkel kicks Stuntman Stu's ass.

The Manatee reserves the right to trip every Sens player boarding the plane home with his flippers. They hung him out to dry in Raleigh. And for the record, I've spoken for everyone and said that the fans love Gerber. Love him, damnit!

Did you get a look at Patrick Eaves' new shoulder pads? (I meant to take a pic but The Driver deleted the recording before I could get to it.) I'm surprised he doesn't get stuck in doorways with those things -- at one point, he was sitting on the bench and he looked like he was waiting to audition for a part in Dynasty.

More later.

P.S. Memo to the North Carolina readers being sent this way: I wasn't at the game yesterday -- the television coverage provided more than enough evidence in regards to your crowd. And while you're here, you also might want to check the pronoun usage in the "About Me" section in the top-right hand corner of the blog. Much obliged.

... because you know that just isn't right.

· As Adam from The Hater Nation would say, "I'm pulling a bit of a Bish right now", but time and circumstances didn't allow me to promptly comment on what took place last week between Buffalo and Ottawa. Therefore, this is all I have to say:

1) What Chris Neil did was the equivalent of someone paying a visit to the Mustang Ranch -- just because it's legal doesn't necessarily make it right (or...uh...clean, for that matter);

2) How more of this incident didn't end up getting heaped on the refs is beyond me. There was an opportunity for the officials to explain to Lindy Ruff why Neil didn't receive a penalty for the hit, and to politely remind him that Buffalo did have last change. In other words, Ruff could have been given a chance to cool down slightly, and rethink his decision to ice his enforcers (I doubt it would have happened, but at least there would have been an opportunity);

3) The chest-puffing buffoonery that took place amongst Ottawa fans in the hours following the fight smacked very much of a town with a severe inferiority complex;

4) Anyone who thinks that fighting doesn't play in the U.S. needs to have their head examined. Discussions surrounding the fight took over The Jim Rome Show (based out of L.A.) on Friday, but Team 1200 listeners were preempted by Over The Edge's continuing coverage. The fight was also referenced repeatedly on Sportscenter in the U.S. (as confirmed to me by a number of American readers) and was given the No. 4 slot in discussions on PTI the same day. The Americans (once they get over their "hoc-key?" jokes) live for the scraps. No blood, no American love. It's that simple. Now I'm not saying that fighting needs to enter the normal repetoire of our regular season rotation, but a decent brawl will ultimately grab U.S. attention -- if only for a moment. And that is so important, when you're talking about a market that normally resides in asystole.

(Aside: Speaking of Rome -- two weeks ago I was in Florida, and managed to catch up with Rob in Tampa -- one of Rome's more infamous faxers during the late '90's. Good times. I'm pretty positive we're the last remaining members of what was once a rather large group of clones [I don't use the 'L' word], in spite of the fact that neither of us listens to the show anymore. Regardless, we had a nice visit, and reminisced about the Tour Stops of the past. Not surprisingly, Trapper's name came up a lot. WAR guitars and pies.)


That was the past...let's get to the present, shall we?

· How about that Ottawa defense, Senators fans? Are they making you feel assured and comfortable with the current situation? Yep, that's what I thought. Let's go to the email for some more perspective:

"We are cursed by the number 7 this year....haha.....any player whose number is divisible by 7 sucks...7,14,42....actually, I've been so busy worrying about 7 and 14 that I have stopped getting on 42."

I concur. In fact, although it's not mathematically permissible, I'd be content to add No. 6 to that mix as well. Is there anything more nail-bitingly tense than seeing Meszaros and Redden on the same line? (Okay, Meszaros and Corvo.) During the last handful of games, there have been multiple incidents involving Meszaros and Redden remaining overwhelmingly static as pucks waft right past them, and into the Ottawa net. It's also become blatantly obvious that Ottawa's blueline lacks the mental and physical toughness required for the postseason. I feel badly lumping Phillips and Volchenkov in with the weak links, because they bring some stability to the group. But it's unrealistic to think that these two will be able to shoulder the load from March until May. More and more people -- both media and fans -- are claiming that the Sens' D will be their downfall in the playoffs, and you can count me among them. Right now, the informal over/under for the Sens in the upcoming postseason is the first round, and most are taking the under -- kind of like a backwards futures bet in Vegas. Bring on the tee times.

· Finally, I need to give some appreciation to SLAM's Patrick Williams, who spent four days in the NCC last week, and a decent amount of time with me. Dude is great for a tangent or three, and it was fantastic to have a sounding board in the newly-christened Scott Norwood Section of Butterknife Row. If you want to see what else Patrick's been up to lately, you can also check out his column index here.