The Universal Cynic

Mike Zeisberger of the Toronto Sun on TSN's Off The Record yesterday:

"I keep hearing how Ottawa fans want a puck-moving defenceman. What was Joe Corvo?"

Sigh.

DE-FENCE-MAN. Can we please focus on that word, kids? It's kind of important right now.

It does Ottawa no good if a player can move the puck, but can't be trusted in his own zone. Yes, I know there are stay-at-home guys, but come on -- their first job is to defend. If not, they'd be forwards. Ottawa has seen guys like Joe Corvo, Wade Redden and Andrej Meszaros come and go. What did they all have in common? They could move the puck (some better than others), but they were also the source of many of a myocardial infarction when the play came into the Senators' end.

Don't gloss over the issue, because this isn't just an obsession about the breakout pass. It has to be the right guy -- one who can be trusted both in front of and behind the blueline.

More later.

Joe Corvo to Ottawa media: "Eat it"

(Okay, he didn't say that -- but his play sure as hell did.)

The Driver was cheering for a hat trick, and I have to admit -- part of me was as well. I've made my stance on Corvo quite clear: I don't think he should have been a Senator to begin with, but I didn't condone the way he was treated. Is everyone through obsessing over the former No. 7, and can we put a stop to the juvenile name calling by the mainstream media? It's about time people grow up and let it go. Corvo's got scoreboard. Allow the guy have his day in the sun for Christ's sakes. He deserves it.

You want to throw a defenceman under the bus who's still with the team? I nominate Andrej Meszaros and Wade Redden for starters. The former might cause more blatant errors on a regular basis, but the latter makes me (expletive) bonkers. What the hell is Redden's damage, anyway? His words said he wanted to stay, but his play indicates anything but. His game is utterly passionless; he looks like he's barely going through the motions. This may seem harsh, but to me Redden personifies every negative sentiment that this team has been subjected to -- the soft, passive choking losers that naysayers expect the club to turn into come playoff time. I can't say that about other veterans on this team: Phillips always cranks it up in the post-season, and we all know what Alfie has done to redeem himself (and then some). I'm sure Redden must care, but damned if I can see it -- it doesn't look like he gives a (expletive) about his play for this team, but he has to realize it's going to have an effect on his future contract. Shouldn't he take that into consideration?

A couple more things for tonight...

How killer is that Carolina crowd? They used to get all kinds of crap for not showing any enthusiasm. They make the fans in SBP look like a joke -- granted, that isn't difficult to do. And by the way, their Howard Finkel kicks Stuntman Stu's ass.

The Manatee reserves the right to trip every Sens player boarding the plane home with his flippers. They hung him out to dry in Raleigh. And for the record, I've spoken for everyone and said that the fans love Gerber. Love him, damnit!

Did you get a look at Patrick Eaves' new shoulder pads? (I meant to take a pic but The Driver deleted the recording before I could get to it.) I'm surprised he doesn't get stuck in doorways with those things -- at one point, he was sitting on the bench and he looked like he was waiting to audition for a part in Dynasty.

More later.

P.S. Memo to the North Carolina readers being sent this way: I wasn't at the game yesterday -- the television coverage provided more than enough evidence in regards to your crowd. And while you're here, you also might want to check the pronoun usage in the "About Me" section in the top-right hand corner of the blog. Much obliged.

From the Citizen's Hockey Capital blog:


SAY IT AIN’T SO, JOE

While both Mike Commodore and Cory Stillman expressed excitement at being the newest members of the Senators, it appears Joe Corvo couldn’t wait to get out of town. Corvo, an Illinois native, told reporters at the News & Observer in Raleigh that he found there was too much attention paid to team and his family didn’t like the living in Ottawa.

Corvo, who often found himself as the target of fan fury over abundant defensive lapses, told the newspaper that, although his family wanted to return to the U.S., his interest in departing “had more to do the small-town attitude that surrounded the team and the nature of the criticism.”

“It’s hard to understand if you haven’t played in Canada,” Corvo is quoted as saying. “The media here at times can be completely ridiculous, the way they can take some of the stories that are nothing and make something out of them.”

The speculation has already begun that Corvo gone + 2 potential UFAs = making space for Peter "Cotton Hill" Forsberg. Your move, Philly.

The general consensus (far as I can tell) is that the move was a positive one. The D needed some jam, badly. The blueline is far too soft, and bringing in Commodore brings some of that so-called grit that's required. Losing Eaves is upsetting some people, but to be fair -- Patrick's game has suffered due to repeated injuries, and he isn't a top six player. There's something to be said for waiting for someone to develop, but many were growing impatient. Stillman represents that top six winger that the Sens currently require (although to be honest, his lack of defensive prowess worries me).

So, where does this leave rumoured trade bait, Antoine Vermette? Right now, my gut says he might be staying.

P.S. Thank your various deities that Commodore is a right-handed defenseman (in essence, a one-for-one, as Corvo was a righty as well). This team has far too many southpaws on the blueline.

(Derek Roy, getting in a few preliminary rounds before the 2008 Olympic Team is selected. He'll also be competing in the 3 metre springboard.)

It's late and I'm exhausted from yelling and doing the "Keep It Out" dance, so only a few points tonight:

- Memo to Don Van 'Mensa'hoven: Not calling interference after Chris Kelly was blatantly hit from behind by Brian Campbell was a mistake. Calling interference on Joe Corvo in OT for not knowing what to do with the puck was a mistake. In short, please brush up on your knowledge of the interference rule. Much obliged.

- How about that fourth line for Ottawa tonight? Huge respect to them, especially during those sequences mid-way through the third period where they refused to give up the puck deep in the Buffalo zone. As for Triple Cream Brie -- the guy who Muckler was so hot on that during a taping of OTR in March, he referred to him as "Spareekin" -- dude's got confidence for days. He's so sure of himself when he handles the puck. It's great to watch.

- Did you notice Murray playing the Corvo-Preissing pairing with Heatley, Spezza and Alfredsson after a while? It wasn't happening all the time, but one wonders if the coach was trying to protect his shakiest defensive pairing by matching them up with the big line, in the hopes that the forwards would keep the puck in deep and away from 7 and 42.

- I'm dying to see how the media deals with "Corvo The Hero". It's obvious the guy tries hard, and he's one of the team's best interviews -- I'll be irked if disparaging monikers are referenced this morning after his great moment last night. Ease up for God's sakes and give the guy his due. He sure as hell deserves it today.

- And finally -- speaking of the media, how about that love-fest in the first segment of the Satellite Hotstove? Watching the media being forced aboard the Senators bandwagon is beyond hilarious. It must drive some of them absolutely crazy to go without at least one negative dig to use against Ottawa.

[Photo Credit: The Book Of Face]

Just a question -- is the opposition's team located in Buffalo or Beachy Head? One hopes they don't hurt themselves jumping off the bandwagon en masse.

It was hardly a memorable performance from Ottawa last night -- the Preissing-Corvo pairing was completely off-kilter, appearing to function as a panicky mess for the majority of the evening. On the Afinogenov goal, Corvo charged out to the point in some sort of misguided attempt to cover Kalinin but stopped short, which left Preissing all alone on the wrong side. And of course, Corvo was a major part of the atrocious sequence in the third (along with Schubert) that saw Ottawa fail to get the puck out of the zone on five or six attempts. Jason Spezza's skating left a lot to be desired (he was barely moving his legs) and Alfie, who continues to work hard, seemed to struggle a bit with timing -- particularly during pass reception.

On the plus side (besides the obvious win) -- a wonderful performance from Mike Fisher. There were also two notables who rarely get mentioned these days: Antoine Vermette and Chris Kelly. Kelly busts his ass every shift, and his role on the PK is so integral to the defensive success that the Sens' forwards have achieved thus far. You could also mention Vermette in the same breath, but it should be pointed out that he had a beautiful sequence vs. Afinogenov mid-way through the 3rd where he continued to pressure the Russian off the puck. That's the way you need to deal with this player (especially when he's clicking, and last night was one of those nights). The Vanek-Roy-Afinogenov trio seemed to be the line obtaining the most chances -- I loved Vermette's demonstration that Afinogenov could be contained. One note on "Jack White" Briere: He was a non-factor last night, but so was Gary Roberts in the first game vs. Pittsburgh, and Ottawa saw how that changed. Maybe he's hurt, but I'll postpone judgment for the meantime. And how about "Triple Cream Brie" Saprykin registering his first playoff goal as a Senator? It's about as unexpected as having two players wearing No. 61 in a series.

The next 48 hours should be interesting. I imagine Buffalo supporters will be regrouping their smack. After all, when some Sabres fans aren't referring to Dany Heatley as "a murderer", they've been keeping busy acting as the Sens' alarm clock. How very Super Bowl of them.

(Hmmm...there's that card to play as well, isn't there?)

More later.

[Photo Credit: The Book Of Face]

...because this is way overdue.

(Apparently that's supposed to be Daniel Alfredsson. I don't get it either.)

So, the Game 2 curse lives on. It was a disappointing outcome to be sure, but the cynics should be somewhat placated by the majority of Ottawa's overall effort. It was a brutal beginning, but the Sens keep proving that they possess the ability to regroup and press forward. It's quite the hat tip to their visible maturity and as long as it continues, it will serve as a hope-filled reminder to those who obsess over the demons of the past -- in spite of such stumbling blocks as overtime losses.

I'm really hoping that people seize this opportunity to celebrate Daniel Alfredsson and the positively brilliant post-season he's had thus far. I realize there's a long way to go, but he seemingly can't do a thing wrong these days -- it's the ultimate demonstration of leading by example. That's why I'm left in disbelief when "observers" such as Mike Bossy begin spouting on Off The Record that if the Sens can't get it done this year, No. 11 has to go. You've got to be kidding me, right? Care to back up that argument with any recent examples of leadership gone awry in the Nation's Capital?

A few more bits and pieces about last night's game...

Chris Phillips and Anton Volchenkov are always going to be a huge part of the Sens' defense, but this is the series where the others -- the offensive blueliners -- are integral to second-round success. In short, it's all about risk and reward. This is the time to obsess over Redden's universally famous "first-line pass" (one that both Corvo and Preissing are also capable of accomplishing, by the way). All plays and passes become stretched to invade beyond the trap, and obviously the defensemen act as the catalyst. The blueliners have also been required to join the rush in an attempt to increase traffic and keep the puck onside. Obviously you're taking chances and if you get caught pinching...well, you end up with OT goals courtesy of Jamie Langenbrunner. To be fair, Joe Corvo made an effort to chase the Devil down. Preissing, on the other hand, failed to kick it into high gear. There's got to be a bigger effort than the one made by No. 42.


I know some people get on Antoine Vermette's case, claiming that he's soft and needs to ramp up the offense (for the record, Mike Fisher needs to improve on the latter as well, but that demi-deity always seems get away scot-free). It's probably true, but let me tell you one thing: Vermette's the only Ottawa player I trust to get to the puck first every time. Speed is a much bigger issue for this team than a lot of people want to admit. I think the over-under on the number of times I yelled, "SKATE!" last night was probably 50.

One more thing -- after the game, Martin Brodeur did an interview with the CBC. Here was the conversation between The Driver and myself as it aired:

Me: "Look at that hand holding the recorder, sticking out from behind the wall."

The Driver: "I see it."

Me: "It's all I can concentrate on."

The Driver: "I bet it's (Bruce) Garrioch."


Ten seconds later, we were both cracking up. Here's why:



And just in case you need additional confirmation (dude motors out of there pretty quickly), here's a still:



One more thing (and on a completely unrelated note): Damn NBC to hell for their afternoon games. They caused TSN to switch feeds yesterday at 3 pm from the NFL Draft (a.k.a. The Brady Quinn Watch) to Game 2 between the Sharks and Red Wings. After Miami took Ted Ginn Jr. instead of Quinn with the No. 9 pick, the whole draft turned into a total train wreck. The former Notre Dame QB was sitting there with an indescribable look of shock on his face -- all dolled up, sporting a pinstripe vest and dapper tie. He looked like he was on break from dealing the Pai Gow Poker tables at Mandalay Bay. I could've watched the fallout all day. Instead, I got another 30 minutes give or take, with no conclusion (because Quinn STILL hadn't been taken by the time the feed switched). For the record, Quinn went 22nd (!) to Cleveland, and breathed an ironically happy sigh of relief at doing so. Too bad I was unable to see it occur live.

More later.

Well, that's one way for Chris Neil to become the face of the franchise.

Someone march the Red Army in front of the SBP tomorrow, because it's blatantly evident that Ottawa likes a certain Commie (please, for the love of God, tell me that's his moniker).

No. 89 was cheered repeatedly and made his presence known with two assists. Early impressions have been encouraging -- he keeps his stick down, and always looks prepared to take the puck. We think he'll be a nice fit, so golf claps go out to Muckler for making the move.

Best quote from The Driver tonight: "I wanna trade (Joe) Corvo to Phoenix for Kaigorodov so we can fleece someone else with him."

Speaking of which, after a brutal turnover from No. 7 in the first, TSN had the maligned defenseman's quote from yesterday's Citizen all prepped and ready to go, the minute he returned to the bench. In case you missed it, here's what appeared below Corvo's face during his closeup time:

"Maybe I'll get moved to forward, I'm playing so bad defensively."

Someone get the kid a psychologist. But honestly, we can't say we're surprised. Kings fans warned us about Corvo's play, and well, we discovered the now-defunct corvosucks.com page (made by an L.A. fan) a long time ago.

In other news, Brent Wallace broke the story about Ray Emery receiving a three-foot ball python (yet unnamed) as a Christmas gift from his parents. How does a 24-year-old goaltender making less than a million dollars this year have everything already?

More later.

When it comes to Senators hockey, 99% of the time, we'd rather spend any game night with Bad Religion instead. We did just that on Wednesday, blowing off the Sens' preseason home opener vs. the Leafs, and instead heading down to the Civic Centre for a very decent show. (Apparently the boys gave the 67's a surprise when they turned up in their dressing room unexpectedly.)

I've privately been taken to task about my comments regarding some of the newest Sens, so I thought last night would be a good time to confirm my findings regarding Joe Corvo with L.A. Kings freak and Bad Religion guitarist, Greg Hetson.

Guess what? Greg said that "(Corvo) has always been like that. He's always been frantic." Oh, so it wasn't just the nerves of training camp? Fantastic.

As for Kings forward Sean Avery, Greg claims the instigator always knew that he was going to be re-signed with L.A. Avery went so far as to allegedly state, "How could they not re-sign me? If I'm not there, who's going to come out to see the (Kings)?"

Like I said, typical Avery. Sure sounds like him.

Welcome back. (More about this sign, and other Northwestern Ontario goodness later.)

If you were at the Senators Fan Fest yesterday (and I was -- I rushed back from Thunder Bay to be here in time for it), you'd probably understand the title of the post. Now it seems clear why they were handing out those ridiculous paper helmets circa the Gretzky Era. Not only did they make everyone look like they belonged on a short bus, but I'm convinced that they lowered everyone's respective IQ as well. I was not impressed with what I saw yesterday, and my concern mostly involved the players who will make up the final squad. Here are a couple of quick notes:

Martin Gerber: You'll notice that Gerber's poor performance was mentioned in today's Sun, but it doesn't explain what the issue was. From my vantage point, I saw an uninspired performance, lacking the effort and crispness of an efficient No. 1 goalie. The rebuttal to all of these complaints will be, "it's a practice". It doesn't matter. You have to be expected to perform, regardless of the situation, and especially if you're pulling down down $3.7 million a year. That certainly wasn't the goaltender who gave Team Canada fits at the Turin Olympics. If this continues, expect some sort of "Swiss Miss" moniker to arise -- likely from me.


Alexei Kaigorodov: I tried to keep an open mind regarding the White Knight -- but it was difficult, given that I've been reading the HFBoard's insistence that the 23-year-old was some sort of Russian deity for nearly a year. And after yesterday, I can tell you that every concern I've read about him is true: The haphephobia, the sketchy faceoffs etc. He also wanted nothing to do with the boards, seemingly creating a barrier between himself and any edge -- it was like bumper bowling on ice. But probably the biggest irritation involved his insistence to casually reach with his stick, as opposed to skating for the puck. These Gumby-like attempts were completely ineffective, but I do understand why he doesn't make the effort to move his legs: The White Knight has all the pickup of a three-cylinder Geo Metro.

Joe Corvo: I now understand why Joe Corvo is labeled as an offensive defenseman -- he's got the same disease as every Dominican ball player in the MLB: He'll take a swipe at anything that comes his way. Patience is definitely not Corvo's forte, and it shows -- whenever the puck arrives in his direction, he panics and immediately fires in the direction of the net, refusing to pass to his open linemate. Granted, some are bound to go in, but the idea of putting this high-strung player on the same line as Wade Redden doesn't seem like the best idea (Corvo and Redden played together for the majority of the scrimmage). The former King is entirely too reckless and needs a stay-at-home defenseman like Chris Phillips to bail him out if he gets into trouble in his own zone (and he does -- regularly). At one point, Corvo blindly followed Redden down the right side, deep into the offensive zone. Both were hugging the boards, and the rest of the ice was wide open. Do you want to see that happen in the playoffs? Yeah, that's what I thought. If Redden and Corvo stay together, expect Redden's offensive numbers to drop off.

Not only was I unimpressed with what I saw from these three, I was bored for the majority of the scrimmage. This team seemingly lacks any kind of identity, and although the goal is still the same (win the Stanley Cup), the path to it doesn't appear as clear. Chris Stevenson attempted to put a positive spin on this revelation in a Friday piece, but after reading it, I was left feeling perplexed. Here's a quote:

"With the personnel changes made this summer -- the departure of Zdeno Chara, Martin Havlat, Dominik Hasek, Vaclav Varada, Bryan Smolinski, etc. -- this Senators team won't be as skilled as some in the past.

But you know what? That's not necessarily a bad thing. Really, what's all that skill got them so far?"

I will agree that there's less skill, but has that skill been replaced with another positive attribute -- like heart, for example? Of course not. Less skill, and the same lack of intensity. How is this supposed to sell tickets?

The ironic thing is, it did -- and then some. 13,000 single-game tickets for the first half of the season were sold on Saturday.

It really explains the power of those paper helmets, doesn't it?