The Universal Cynic

Just a thought...

Instead of backsliding into the bloggers v. traditional media debate (round 3,189), why don't we start discussing where the true advantages lie for people in this business? What's more important to a writer - the prestige of an established outlet like a national newspaper, or the eyeballs that come with a highly recognized website? Would you rather make more money with a print gig while constantly worrying about layoffs, or would you settle for a slimmer wallet and the job security that online offers have been providing? How many significant paying positions can online sports media legitimately sustain? Can traditional media revamp itself via a different format (there's talk revolving around the iPad and other readers destined to come)?

There's plenty to discuss here, but with a lot more significance than the press box debate, which in my opinion, seems trite in comparison. Have at it.

Regardless of what your political affiliations are, it's humourous to hear some say that they want the federal government to back off funding for a Quebec arena, because they want the money to "stay in their pockets." Aww, that's adorable. Do you need a refresher on which country you live in? Money will always be demanded from the taxpayers, regardless of which party is in power. If it's not this project, it will be something else. That doesn't mean it's necessarily OK to fund this arena, but to assume that we'll all be spared a few bucks if it doesn't get done is naive.

And as for Pierre Karl Peladeau being the serpentine head of this charge (and assumed eventual owner of the new-school Nordiques): I'm sure he can be trusted. After all, everyone cares about hockey. When Quebecor bought Sun Media more than a decade ago, the newspaper business was already shot. It's not like PKP made the situation worse, right? The guy is an amazing, compassionate and competent businessman, and when it comes to NHL ownership, you can't screw it up at all. I'm sure he'll be a fine addition to the league.


More later.

The local gossip this weekend has revolved around the rumour that Ottawa may finally be getting an All-Star Game. Obviously one of the biggest hold-ups has been the lack of proper facilities downtown, but with the completion of new convention centre next year, the city should finally be prepared to hold the event.

A couple of things:

1) Many people (both locals and out-of-town media) love to bitch about having to haul ass from downtown (where the convention centre will be located) to the wilds of Kanata for games. How do you think they're going to feel about doing it in late January? Bank says that part is not going to go over well.

2) Peering into the not-so-distant future - how many potential all-stars do you see Ottawa producing for its own game? Karlsson maybe having a breakout year...maybe? Barring some sort of major miracle, the kid's not going to morph into Drew Doughty anytime soon (or likely, ever). Any wild predictions? And how humiliating would it be to receive a mercy spot?

More later.

Come for the potassium - stay for the rage. Here's a mish-mash of topics that have been irking us lately:

Remember that ridiculous exercise in satire a few weeks ago known as the NHL Research and Development Camp? One of the biggest potential changes setting the Internet ablaze (or a-Twitter, to be more specific) was the discussion of doing away with shootouts, and returning to straight ties. At that time, I conducted an informal survey via Twitter, and found that the preference of ties over the shootout ran at least 10-to-1. Strangely enough, at the same time, FIFA was making news because they were discussing getting rid of ties at the next World Cup.

When the subject came up on Pardon The Interruption, Bob Ryan and Dan LeBatard (yeah, I know) surmised that this change might serve as another attempt at roping in the American audience, who aren't fond of the "everyone wins and let's go have some orange slices" approach.

You see where I'm going with this? I know you do.

Look, no one likes the soccer/hockey comparison. However...

We know that whenever large rule changes based in "excitement" such as the shootout are brought in, it's usually for one reason: To rope in new fans. And who are the new fans that the NHL cares about? The Americans. So don't you find it ironic that one league is headed back to ties, while another attempts the shootout -- but both seem to be failing at reaching the heights in the U.S. market that they obviously dream about? Time to try something else, kids.

***

Who was the first stringer to say, "Yeah, I'll do it for the exposure!" I'd like to kick their ass down a flight of stairs. This business is hard enough - what, with the lack of money, the super-saturated market with premiums placed on beat reporters (any damn fool can go into the locker room to get quotes; come up with a fresh, inspired opinion about this league in a sea of screaming voices -- it's a lot harder than you think). My latest pet peeve involves the reverence being paid to "the former player." Honestly, this has bothered me for a few years, but it's really beginning to become tiresome. A couple of things: 1) There are a few guys who possess the ability to move into media rather smoothly and they provide quality insight; 2) I understand there will always be a demand for a player's take, if you will -- the fans are intrigued by it. That said, it's getting to the point where if some scrub played 4 minutes in the USHL, he's all of a sudden worthy of a media gig. Woman, please.

***

I see the Kovalchuk drama train eventually pulling into one of two stations: 60-Points Town, or Blown ACL-Ville. It just dragged on too long for this season to end on a pleasant note for either Ilya or the Devils. If I'm wrong, remind me. I know you will.

***

Bloggers should be allowed in the press box if they dress without affiliation (i.e. no team gear), do not cheer, and are barred from asking players questions in the dressing room. (If you get the impression that I'm not hot on the idea, you'd be right.) The question still remains -- why the hell do all of you want access, anyway? For years, many bloggers insisted that being being allowed behind closed doors wasn't necessary. Everyone was content to play Bill Simmons. What changed? Furthermore, it bears repeating: The day that the NHL and its teams regard SBN, Yahoo! and similar in the same vein as Sun Media, Postmedia, CTVglobemedia etc., will be the first. The irony of course is that those sites are actually worthy of consideration into the box. I didn't say it was fair. That's just the way it is. It's a matter for the PHWA to settle (and I never wanted to join because I'm a fusspot like that).

***

One more thing: Please don't ask for season predictions, or to join your fantasy pool, or to participate in your podcast roundtables. The requests are coming in, and I'm turning them all down, largely due to my commitment to other projects. Oh, and I'm generally weary of hockey mania, and it's only September. You know how it is...maybe.

More later.

When the cops were talking, and his teammates were melting down on golf courses about the issue to my best sources [a much-belated ironic hint - his number contained a '6'], I knew it was time to tackle the story as best I could. This was a difficult time for me - information was flying thick and fast, and I even had the location given to me where this supposed nonsense was going down. In the end, it wasn't about Ray - it was people allegedly associated with him. People wanted the full tale, but no one was willing to protect me. And so, I decided to stick my neck out only this far. For what it's worth, I was the first to do so, and the only one who dared to even step up to the plate at this time.

Truth or consequences (originally posted January 29, 2008)


When everybody above is ready to bout you about controversial values
Don't you think you better re-address the level of the cowardice rising to drown you?
Did you ever connect - or come to reject - or even inspect
The dreams that hound you?

When the prodigal son with a caroming shadow of hate comes to land at home
Well he's a mourning star with a champagne heart at his curtain call
And father never understood the way the work gets done
Don't look at me, no I ain't one, no prodigal son

-- Prodigal Son (BR)

Some paraphrased public thoughts from various local media on the topic of Ray Emery (no names will be used because I don't have the direct quotes and don't wish to be on the receiving end of bitchy, fusspot e-mails):

* One made reference to the idea that Emery may be involved in off-ice issues similar to those that said media personality experienced when he was dealing with drugs;

* One claimed that Ottawa is too small and if inappropriate actions were truly occurring, someone would have uncovered it and written about it already;

* Another stated that the only information he had came from what was printed or said in the media, basically insinuating that he had no inside sources to speak of.

Ahem.

Finally, here's a quote:

"(Ray Emery) is (expletive) out of control. I guarantee that whatever you've heard about him...95% of it is true." -- An anonymous source from inside the dressing room.

(There was more -- much more -- but it can't be posted here without repercussions of some sort. I will say that it provided incredible insight in regards to team and front office cohesiveness, and Ray's own mindset as perceived by his teammates -- again, according to this one person.)

Watching (and listening) to this psychological petri dish fester over the past 36 hours has been amusing, frustrating and somewhat surprising. For those of us who have been sitting on material -- for lack of a better phrase -- for nearly a season and a half, watching cracks finally begin to appear in the facade is somewhat of a relief.

Granted, Ray's latest truancy (on the surface) had nothing to do with The Pink Elephant sitting in the room that no one would (or could) discuss openly. But given his history of difficulties and general problematic behaviour, this latest incident, which could serve as the straw that broke the camel's back, has given many in the media carte blanche to begin dancing ever so carefully around the subject. (Aside: This alone is an experience in itself. It's exceedingly ridiculous for some of us to sit by and watch other media members pretend as if nothing is going on -- as demonstrated by some of the comments above. No one's saying you have to jump on the bomb and attempt an exposé, but if you're pulling any "Ray's just being Ray" nonsense, you need to check yourself and remain silent. There's nothing worse than any media's feeble attempt to play dumb.)

But believe me, this isn't a topic that could normally be broached with any semblance of truth or ferocity, unless you possessed a gifted photographer and an attorney on a choke chain (a fact that I have personally been warned about from friends and colleagues alike).

The thing is, the Senators now realize that they're buggered six ways from Sunday. Everyone knows about Ray Emery -- both in the city, and within the NHL. It was fine for the team to look the other way when he was winning. Now they're aware of his off-ice issues and the fact that he's not the real deal. However, they have signed him to a three-year deal that was largely predicated on one season (where both he and the team itself were able to synergize at the right time), when all signs and internal team issues pointed towards exploring alternative options. Fans and media alike must've seen this coming. A five minute conversation with anyone in AHL circles will provide you with all the required turbulent history between Paddock and Emery, going back to their days in Binghamton.

Yes, he was a troubled case. But it's impossible not to assume that the uh...issue...exacerbated the problem ten-fold.

Mark my words: As long as the Senators keep Emery in the fold, someone WILL write this story eventually (with photographic evidence and the legal protection required), and the aftermath that follows will undoubtedly be devastating for the entire franchise. If he stays, it won't be much longer before we see it. How can you assume otherwise when we're already experiencing a willingness by some to wade into potentially libelous waters?

More later.

Looking back, this whole incident is cringe-inducing for yours truly. To flesh out the tale even further: The Sun's union (SONG Local 87-M) had been without a CBA for some time, and was on the verge of a strike...right in the middle of a Cup final featuring the Ottawa Senators. Seeing as I wasn't unionized, there was no reason why I couldn't be included on the accreditation list if they walked (not assumption on my part - this is what I was told). Negotiations dragged on, and I was left hanging, hence this somewhat brazen stunt. After three years of freelancing, I ended up with an ulcer. I regard this incident as one of the many catalysts.

The NHL: They're just not that into you (originally posted May 28, 2007)

[Ed. Note: The following is an extremely long post. Consider yourself warned.]


By "you", I actually mean "me". Who am I? Other than the writer of this blog, I'm a sports columnist with a major Canadian daily in the Nation's Capital. At 28 years old, I'm the youngest sportswriter in Ottawa-Gatineau. I'm female. But most importantly (at least in respect to this post), I'm a person who legitimately cares about hockey and its relevance -- however debatable -- as a major league sport.

Unfortunately, none of this currently means a lick to the National Hockey League, because it's become blatantly obvious they would rather take a frozen puck to the uvula than grant me accreditation to the Stanley Cup Finals. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why.

Here's a synopsis of last week's events: I was told by my editor at Sun Media that accreditations for the Finals would be extremely hard to come by (hardly a surprising revelation). Traditionally, accreditation request forms have a set number of spots. Sun Media had already accounted for all spots in Anaheim and Ottawa -- which I was fully expecting. After all, they had to tend to their employees first, whereas I am a contracted writer.

At the encouragement of others and after informing my editor I was planning to do so, I approached the NHL on my own behalf to see if anything could be accomplished, even if it was only to obtain a practice pass. I sent e-mails to practically every major media relations member. I called the league offices in New York and Toronto. Every one of my calls and missives went unanswered.

Again, I knew the chances were slim, particularly with Game 1 creeping up on the 28th, but I figured I had nothing to lose. Meanwhile on Friday, William Houston of The Globe And Mail published this piece, detailing the lack of accreditation requests from both U.S. and Canadian outlets. Here are some clips:

When the Stanley Cup final starts Monday in Anaheim, most of the leading newspapers in the United States will be busy doing something else.

They certainly won't be sending reporters to Canada to cover the games in Ottawa, where connections are difficult and fares expensive.

"It's Disneyland against Parliament," one U.S. sportswriter said about the Senators-Ducks series. "Not only is it impossible to get directly from one place to another, but it takes a great deal of time and money.

"If I'm a sports editor, I say forget about it. I can spend my money on something better.

That mirrors the view of Newsday sports editor Hank Winnicki, who says the New York Yankees and Mets take priority at this time of year. "There's so much going on in New York that we have to throw everything we have at the big story," he said.

In addition to Newsday, newspapers not attending the Cup final will include the Washington Post, New York Post, Newark Star-Ledger, Dallas Morning News, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, St. Louis Post-Dispatch and St. Petersburg Times. The New York Times won't commit past coverage of Game 1.

Even in the big regional hockey markets they're staying away. The Buffalo News gave it thumbs down. The St. Paul Pioneer Press won't attend. Minneapolis Star Tribune coverage will be limited to blogs filed by its beat writer from the first game to the third.

The two big Chicago dailies, the Tribune and Sun-Times, have been absent from the Stanley Cup final for years. And, in Hockeytown USA, both the Detroit Free Press and Detroit News are taking a pass.


...

The visiting contingent to Ottawa this spring won't be much larger. Those accredited for the final include USA Today, The Boston Globe, New York Daily News, the two Philadelphia papers, the Inquirer and Daily News and Los Angeles Times.

In Canada, there may also be fewer newspapers covering the final. The Sun Media chain will use Ottawa Sun coverage for its newspapers, with the Edmonton Sun's Terry Jones also filing columns. The CanWest chain will rely heavily on Ottawa Citizen coverage.

Initially I was buoyed by this admission, but I immediately became concerned by the attention paid to the absence of U.S. outlets. I thought perhaps this news could ironically work against me, due to the fact I was a Canadian writer -- I may be viewed as a surplus. My concerns were fortified when a friend (also in the business) sent this note:

I heard from one Professional Hockey Writers' Association member who said that the NHL is giving a lot of perfectly legitimate media people a very difficult time (for reasons that defy any sort of logic). The suspicion is that the NHL is desperately seeking the American media's heavy hitters (and hence to have to play it safe and keep spots open). Good luck with that, Commissioner Bettman.

Picture it: The NHL -- the high school boy, out of step with the rest of the cliques but desperate to seek validation, hungers for the attention of the most popular girl in school (the American media). She ignores him and regularly mocks him in front of anyone who will listen. Meanwhile, the girl with genuine interest (the Canadian media) might be plain and a bit of an oddball. But she legitimately cares about him, and yet he delivers the cold shoulder. This argument was solidified most recently by the league's incessant kowtowing to NBC during the playoffs -- who infamously demonstrated their gratitude by cutting the Sens-Sabres OT coverage in favour of the Preakness Stakes.

It sounds like original outline for Dawson's Creek -- except our Dawson in this case seems to forget that Joey Potter finally threw in the towel after chasing him for years, and ended up with Pacey Witter in the end...who could be represented by, I dunno... Mixed Martial Arts?

Fast-forward to Sunday morning. 3:21 A.M. EDT, to be precise. The following e-mail from the NHL arrives in my inbox:

Dear Mr. Nicks,

We do not credential freelance writers. Sorry.

Thank you for your interest.


Two incorrect statements in a three-line e-mail: 1) My gender (fabulous attention to detail from someone who is paid to observe such minutiae) and 2) The claim that the NHL doesn't offer credentials to freelance writers.

How do I know this?

It might have something to do with the credential for the '05 Entry Draft hanging in my office. The first post-lockout, closed-door draft featuring the one and only pseudo-deity known as Sidney Crosby. The new face of the NHL, live and in the flesh. I was there, and my position was no different than it is today. Again, I was warned that I would be hard-pressed to get in...but I did.

At the time, words couldn't express how excited I was at the opportunity. When I received word of my accreditation approval, I was in Las Vegas. I cut my trip short and grabbed the first red-eye back to Ottawa to prepare. I did it because I cared about the draft. I cared about the NHL.

And that's what makes this whole accreditation denial all the more perplexing. The NHL, contrary to its own toffee-nosed belief, is not operating from a position of power. It can't afford to treat any media regardless of stature in such an indifferent (and borderline insolent) manner, when its significance on the North American sporting stage is shrinking at a drastic rate. This league shouldn't be "thanking" people for their interest -- they should be tripping over themselves to express their gratitude. The NHL has so few in its corner; so few who are willing to step up and cover the sport, in a feeble attempt to provide it with some dignity. In spite of this, they continue to chase the big fish -- the American media -- whom they couldn't land if they waded for days while sporting bait-laden underwear. Meanwhile here I sit in Ottawa, after the niceties, formalities and e-mails forced me to check my ego at the door. I wanted them to know that the NHL was more than relevant to me. I wanted them to know it would be an extreme pleasure to cover their event. But apparently, that's not what they want. Go figure.

Why is the NHL trying to infuriate the media, when people like myself are doing everything in their power to demonstrate that they're willing to pay positive attention to their league when virtually no one else will? Maybe if I were Linda Cohn, they'd let me in. Maybe if I insulted them regularly on satellite and terrestrial radio, they'd grant me a pass. Maybe I'll pretend not to care.

Or maybe I'll legitimately stop caring altogether. Right now, I'm convinced that's what the league wants.

This fan did, and sent me a photo as proof. Have at it, Leafs fans.

This is hardcore (originally posted November 7, 2006)

Here's an excerpt from some reader mail that I received in response to the November 5 column:

I live in Brockville where the teams are split between Ottawa, Toronto, and Montreal. The Leaf fans I know are religious fans, standing beside there team regardless of how they play, and that is exactly how it is with my wife and I. I have a tattoo of the Sens Logo on my forearm and Daniel Alfreddson's (sic) autograph beneath it (tattooed as well), and my wife has Spartycat (sic) tattooed on her calf, and it has also been signed by the big cat himself (herself), and inked in permanently as well. There are over 250 different Sens articles in our house, and 8 different Jerseys hanging. We are "True Fans" as my wife says to anyone that can hear. My van is covered with window clingers, and my licence is a Senator plate from the ministry.



I'm speechless. At least you know a mascot will never be traded.

Here's where I mentioned that I had received a terse e-mail from a member of the Sens' front office about a column I wrote (now that he's gone I'll tell you - it was Mlakar). I then brought up a prior incident involving local radio where, during a guest hosting stint, I was warned not to say anything disparaging about the team. William Houston - then with The Globe and Mail - somehow got ahold of the post, and all hell broke loose.

You Snap The Whip (originally posted November 13, 2006)

I thought I would just add my experiences to what's being discussed over in this Battle of Ontario post. There was a link to a Sens message board containing a post that discussed the team's issues with the media. I'll let you decide if it validates what has been said.

There are two incidents that stand out in my mind. The first occurred when I did some guest hosting for The Team, several years ago. The program director at the time made it very clear to me that I was not to speak negatively about the Senators, in any way, shape or form. I found this to be highly ironic, seeing as that I was "known" for slagging the Senators on a regular basis, using Jim Rome as a vehicle to do so.

I don't know why I was told this. Maybe they thought I couldn't operate on a sliding scale, and was incapable of making points using contructive criticism, as opposed to blatant barbs that were used solely for the purpose of humour.

The second incident occurred not long after I secured the column. I criticized Mike Fisher -- honest to God, I can't remember what I said exactly. I'd pull the quote, but those early columns are on my old (and now-defunct) PC. Anyway, the next day I received a terse email from a well-known member of the Sens' front office who took issue with what I wrote. Being the neophyte that I was, I apologized for offending him (and possibly Fisher)...he said it was fine, and now we're (seemingly) all good.

As for some of the other thoughts pertaining to the media not being hard enough on the team -- I think that's a double-edged sword: There are fans that want us to show no mercy to the players, except they forget that we have contacts to maintain, most notably with the Senators. I don't care what team you're dealing with -- a writer that acts like a perpetual a-hole is going to be put through the ringer by the team's PR. It's like the old saying goes: You catch more flies with honey than you would with vinegar. Of course, you can take this too far, and use blackstrap molasses -- like Gord Wilson tends to. And you'd be surprised at the amount of emails I get after a particularly critical piece that read, "Why do you have to be so negative? Why can't you write something positive?" People don't want to read beatdown pieces all the time.

That being said, I've always maintained that if the team deserves the criticism, I'll give it. But there's a difference between being critical, and being a bombastic jackass. I hope that's not what the Sens' front office thinks of the media -- if they do, that's a major disconnect. But if that's what the readers want, they should probably check out what the Toronto media has to offer.

And my post, after Houston's mention:

You Snap The Whip: Part II

Regarding today's mention of the blog in The Globe and Mail (if you missed it, here's the clip):

We reported two weeks ago on the perceived obsequious behaviour of Team 1200 toward the Ottawa Senators, who were struggling at the time. The station, which is the club's rights-holder, confirmed it had cut back on postgame phone-ins, but denied there had been pressure from the Senators to get rid of the angry fan rants.

Still, the Senators media have a reputation for being soft. Occasionally a player or even the coach will get rapped. But the front office, which is to say president Roy Mlakar and general manager John Muckler, is out of bounds.

The sensitivity to upper management was illustrated during owner Eugene Melnyk's media conference call of Nov. 16 during which he affirmed his support for Muckler and coach Bryan Murray. In a whiny tone, he complained about media rumour and speculation on the status of Muckler and Murray. Club owners in big-league cities wouldn't have bothered.

In an e-mail, an Ottawa fan wrote, "[Sens] have a reputation around town of being a nice, fan-friendly organization, but behind the scenes Roy Mlakar has been known for some heavy-handed tactics."

Writer Erin Nicks freelances to the sports section of the Ottawa Sun. On her blog, she wrote a while ago, "There are two incidents that stand out in my mind. The first occurred when I did some guest hosting for [Team 1200] several years ago. The program director at the time made it very clear to me that I was not to speak negatively about the Senators, in any way, shape or form. . . .

"The second incident occurred not long after I secured the [Sun] column. I criticized [Sens forward] Mike Fisher — honest to God, I can't remember what I said exactly. . . . Anyway, the next day I received a terse email from a well-known member of the Sens' front office who took issue with what I wrote. Being the neophyte that I was, I apologized for offending him [and possibly Fisher]."

I've noticed that a synopsis regarding this subject has turned up in a multitude of places, including Senators message boards. The perception by most seems to be that I have been "silenced" by various factions of the Senators and the outlets that they use (i.e. The Team).

Let me assure everyone that my radio guest hosting experience happened several years ago -- the current program director that is in place was not the one I dealt with. I don't know if I would have been given the same instructions today. Futhermore, I had little concern regarding what I had been told, because I was able to speak freely via The Jim Rome Show, and at the time, was doing so on a regular basis. Rome's show, although broadcast from Los Angeles, possessed a much larger audience, and therefore my opinions on his program could have been perceived as far more detrimental to the Senators.

If The Team's program director had a problem with what I had said previously, I doubt he would have let me guest host.

It should also be noted that at the time, I was working in an entirely different field from the one I am currently employed in. At no time did anyone from the Senators approach me, or my former employer, with a demand to cease my complaints.

As for the email I received -- I doubt I am the first writer to receive a missive like that, and I'm sure I won't be the last. I was never told to retract my comments, nor was I reprimanded by Sun Media for the column. The front office person in question didn't like what I wrote. A lot of people don't, and I regularly hear about it. It doesn't faze me.

To summarize: There has been one person that asked me to refrain from speaking negatively about the Senators -- a former program director for The Team. It happened several years ago, long before I was writing the column. The Senators, at the time, were not in a state of turmoil (i.e. trade demands and request for front office changes), so I went along with it -- if I wanted to complain, I would do so on Rome's show, and no one ever attempted to stop me. In addition, no one has ever threatened to terminate me, or have my column ceased, based on something that I have written thus far.

Anyone who attempts to claim, or twist my statements to suggest that something else has occurred involving myself, is telling a falsehood.

End of story.

Recent, yes, but there were some very strong feelings surrounding this post, so I figured it was worth a revisit.

Erin on Erin: Through The Sports Media Peephole (originally posted on July 21, 2009)


When I first heard about what happened to ESPN personality Erin Andrews -- my natural reaction was one of horror. Erin's privacy was violated during a moment when her guard was at its lowest. She was in her hotel room, naked, and likely preparing to go through the typical female ablutions. We all do it, and none of us think about it. We shouldn't have to...unless some freak with fibre optic equipment and a penknife decides to go Jack Bauer on the drywall in the adjacent room.

That being said, I have a few random thoughts on this incident -- and its fallout -- I'd like to share.

1) To witness some of the reaction from the bigger blogs on this topic is rather interesting. Many who initially allowed links to the video have since retracted the posts and gone into "protective pseudo-boyfriend" mode. They "feel badly" for Andrews, and state repeatedly how she "doesn't deserve this." While I wholeheartedly agree with those statements, it's a bit hard to swallow coming from writers who were previously content to objectify the hell out of Erin -- both for the sake of increased traffic and their own personal amusement. How many female sports media personalities were subjected to largely-spread photos of them eating a sandwich, or tales of their visits to a media buffet that featured a "taco bar"? The minutiae of Erin's life have always been up for discussion, and it largely has to do with her personal appearance. I suppose I should be appreciative that these bloggers are finally drawing the line publicly on the objectivity issue, but part of me also wonders how many of them immediately went looking for the video as soon as it was available.

2) While I reiterate that this never should have happened, I sincerely hope it causes Erin to reconsider certain things about life in the business. Yes, she's a very attractive woman. We all know that, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view), nothing can be done about it. However, Erin has previously been under scrutiny for wardrobe choices and flirtatious behaviour in the past. These decisions will likely exacerbate any kind of objectionable treatment she receives. Am I saying she's to blame? No. This isn't a, "girl dresses a certain way, she's getting what's coming to her" rant. The fact of the matter is, that while not all men are capable of doing dangerous/criminal things, most are more than capable of objectifying women to some degree -- be it publicly or privately. The spotlight is on her in such a male-dominated business, and her appearance adds to that. Anything -- and I mean ANYTHING that can be perceived as questionable (a hand on a player's shoulder or a dress cut to mid-thigh) can and will lead down a slippery slope.


One of my biggest outcries regarding this issue incidentally came right before this drama took place. Andrews was spotted at the ESPYs wearing a black Herve Leger strapless dress with cutouts down the front. This dress had previously been spotted on other celebrities, and has been repeatedly been crucified in the press for causing its wearers to look like, well, $5-dollar whores.

Did the dress suit her? She certainly has the body to pull it off. But that's not the point. This is a night where the attention would undoubtedly be on her, and she could have chosen to wear something far more sophisticated. Instead, she went for full-on sexpot. Why? It's not necessary. Furthermore, it does nothing to dissuade people from thinking that she's nothing more than a sideline princess -- a fun bauble to look at, but who gives a (expletive) what she says? We all know she's pretty -- why does she insist on feeding the beast?

3) I have stated multiple times on this blog that for a woman, you're more likely to be taken seriously in print as opposed to the other two mediums. I believe print offers the greatest opportunity to neutralize one's gender -- in short, if you can make readers forget that they're hearing from a woman, there's a better chance of being taken seriously. Granted, print is also where the money is the sparsest, so I understand the need to push towards television. No matter what your appearance, this is no easy world to deal with. In nearly ten years of messing about in this industry, I've been told to "sound sexier", "wear something pretty" and "think about being a golf cart girl or a cheerleader for a day -- it'll be a good story." Keep in mind that I'm a relatively average-looking woman who doesn't (expletive) around with work and seriously wants to discuss a team's defensive foibles -- and not which of the blueliners I may find "cute." Nothing is ever going to stop men from objectifying women in this business, but playing the straight and narrow never hurt anyone -- if you truly care about what you're doing, that is (and I believe Erin does).

What happened to Erin Andrews was totally uncalled for, and I can't imagine how she must be feeling right now. I've dealt with some creepy nonsense during my time, but nothing on par with that. All of that considered, I hope this incident causes people -- and women -- to think about the way things go down in sports media...fair, unfair or otherwise.


Related: Erin Andrews and Guilt, Imagined and Otherwise -- Deadspin
Assault on Erin Andrews' Privacy Scary For All Female Journalists -- Yahoo! Sports
Erin Andrews and The Dark Side of All This -- RandBall

This one makes the list, because it's my favourite post of all-time. What can I say? I have a soft spot for King of the Hill references.

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What's Swedish for "Where's my shin jelly?" (Posted September 18, 2007)



When the hell is this going to end? Now Bryan Murray is enlisting the help of Daniel Alfredsson in an attempt to woo Peter Forsberg to the capital with a well-timed phone call. What is this, junior high? Why doesn't Alfie just send a folded note with the traditional "Do you like me?" query, followed by boxes labelled "yes" and "no". And you just know that Forsberg, being the crafty bugger that he is, will return it with an additional square created (and checked) that reads, "I don't know." Of course, said note will need to be passed through Toronto and snickered at for the full effect.

Keep in mind that Forsberg is recovering from ankle surgery (again), but will still expect the Brinks truck to back up, regardless of the situation. Not to be overly harsh, but the only way I'd consider this is if Peter literally removed all problems, and surgically attached his knees to his feet like Cotton Hill. Think about it: He could skate around headbutting players (read: Sidney Crosby) in the stomach and groin with no remorse. Words cannot express how badly I would like to see that happen.

P.S. I know his feet are torched as well. When it's time for those to go, that's when Ottawa can ship him to the Leafs for their turn.

P.P.S. Doesn't the cartoon version of Jimmy Carter look just a bit like Bryan Murray? C'mon...I know you see it.

(The Driver: Better than you; funnier than anyone. Also pictured: Miss Eleanor Southworth Ewing, the superbeagle.)

Since my very first days in sports media, people have been trying to find out about my personal life -- specifically if I had a boyfriend or husband. If I did, what was he like?

Well, after so many years, I figured it was time to pull back the curtain a bit.

The Driver (real name: Gary) is a very private person. People have been trying to interview him since the beginning and he's always said no. If I remember correctly, Barre Campbell was the first to try. In the tradition of Simmons, I gave him a moniker. "Sports Guy" was already taken (not that I wanted it). "The Driver" was never intended to be a long-term thing, but it stuck, and so I kept it.

So why "The Driver"? You've asked and asked, so I'll tell you. No, he doesn't have a head shaped like a Big Bertha, although he's quite a decent golfer. Here's the real reason: I didn't get my driver's license until I was in my mid-20's. Three guesses as to was chauffeuring me around?

The Driver, who is also from Thunder Bay, grew up as a Winnipeg Jets fan. He lived in Winnipeg for a short period for school and was at the game where Teemu Selanne broke the rookie scoring record:



He still has a soft spot for the Jets, but discussions of bringing a team back to Canada make him crazy. As for the Senators, he's largely checked out on them, and began following the Kings not too long after the lockout (favourite player: Wayne Simmonds). Worthy of note: He was hating on Wade Redden long before it was considered fresh.

These days, The Driver is a lot like myself -- becoming the most vocal when it involves the media. Sun Media drives him absolutely bonkers, and he claims that he can't watch Steve Simmons on TSN's The Reporters, because he can't get over his "fumbling fingers." Impressions are his specialty in this department. He does a killer Jim Fox, Steve Lloyd, Jim Jerome and surprisingly, Patricia Boal (which eventually morphs into a Chi Pig). Like a lot of people, he's become disillusioned with newspapers, and has a difficult time taking most local coverage seriously. One of the few exceptions is James Gordon of the Citizen, and for national coverage, I've recently turned him on to Bruce Arthur of the National Post. (He's more of a Globe guy, but their sports section leaves a lot to be desired. He also doesn't worship at the Church of Mirtle.)

What turns him on in sports? San Diego Chargers wins (in spite of Norv Turner's incompetence). Also in that same vein -- seeing LaDainian Tomlinson hit the bricks. He loves ESPN's 30 for 30 documentary series, watching games at Staples and Xcel Energy Center, live baseball (except for the Jays), unconventional goaltenders and mobile, speedy Swedish forwards.

Sound a lot like me? Well, we are very similar, hence the reason why I think many suspected that he was the one writing the columns. You'll never know, now...will you? (That was a joke, Mensas.)

Don't take this post as a sign that The Driver will somehow begin appearing more often. He still prefers to stay in the background, although I will continue to tweet his best takes whenever possible. And as long as you're good to me, he won't have a problem with you...unless you try and corner one or both of us to talk about the Summit Series. Then he'll probably kill you.

More later.

The most popular post in TUC history owes everything to our dear friend Colin, who tipped us off to this story. How two TiCats cheerleaders go from discussing fitness to riding a Sybian (website NSFW) is beyond comprehension, but hey, it was the Howard Stern show.

Four years later, readers are still Googling this story. Check it out here (SFW).

Jim Lampley nails a troika of whiskey, vodka and pot, then chases (and manhandles) a former Miss California around his couch while his 14-year-old son watches. Welcome to one of the most popular posts in TUC history.

P.S.: The first comment? DAMN. And you guys thought I was harsh...

No, I didn't write this. But I do love it.

Again, this is a cluster of posts from the period when the Senators thought they should (or rather, could get away with) charging their fans for games on pay-per-view. I got into a fair amount of trouble for these posts, both with the Ottawa Senators and Sun Media. In hindsight it doesn't seem like such a big deal, but at the time it surely wasn't pleasant. I didn't have to come down on them as hard as I did, but I was vehemently against their decision and took serious issue with the product. Of course, the blog is a looser format, and so I took advantage of that fact. Me and my mouth...err...fingers.

I'd like to think that I helped make a difference during this period - the Sens and media are constantly lurking around here for some bloody reason or other - but c'mon...I'm just a dumb girl blogger. [Insert picture of Malibu Stacy hunched over a laptop] Special acknowledgment goes to Rob Brodie, who stuck by me the whole time. He's good people.

Here are the most controversial posts from the Senators' short and sour PPV era:

Give me my Bloody HD

Soupe du Jour

The Vicious Revolt

Question The Answers

Pass the Buck

Ah, "Dress Up Jake." The madness, the mayhem, the use of R-rated accessories.

Dress Up Jake came to me one night as I was sitting in my office, staring in total contempt at my Jake Plummer inaction figure after another brutal Denver loss. Plummer, the No. 1 QB of the Broncos at the time, could best be described as a mercurial, inconsistent fusspot. Basically the kid got on my nerves more than Brian Lee and Wade Redden combined.

(Ed. Note: I know that's a lot of hatred, but this is football we're talking about.)

I needed a way to convey my feelings on Plummer and the games in a quick-fire manner, but I also didn't want to a) pretend I was an NFL expert and b) piss off my hockey readers. I figured the best (and most amusing way) to do this, was to pose the doll in a manner fitting his performance. If he played well, I'd reward the action figure with pork tenderloin and porn. If he played poorly, I'd make him drink cosmopolitans with Daniel Alfredsson (see above).

I never would have guessed that DUJ would take off the way it did. Deadspin linked to every week I featured it, and Stefan Fatsis (a noted Bronco honk) of the New York Times also picked it up, and included it in a piece for Slate.

Looking back on it, I probably wouldn't have been so ribald, but the readers were eating it up, so I felt I had no reason to take my foot off the gas. It was all meant in fun, regardless.

For the entire DUJ archive, click here.

The premise is a simple one: TUC is counting down 10 of the most (occasionally) memorable posts from the blog's history. Choices will be based on popularity, controversy and maybe a couple of my personal favourites, with a little write-up on each on my current feelings towards the posts (possible regrets, changes in opinion etc.). Please enjoy it --hopefully it helps to fill the time while we wait for Kovalchuk to see his shadow.

Stay tuned for No. 10, after the break.

'Cause it's not what you've done/It's what you've been
If you fuck up/I'm telling Tim

-- I'm Telling Tim (NOFX)

Regarding the "anti-Spezza" posts on Tim Baines's new blog:

1) Don Brennan and Bruce Garrioch are big boys - one would hope they could defend themselves;

2) Don't you wish this blog was around in 2008? It would have been interesting to see Baines take up for his writers when this was going on.

More later.

Semin. Brodeur. Spezza. Huselius. Brassard. The fourth-round pick.

Stop spreading it. Why are you giving him the publicity he obviously craves? And don't start with the, "We need to expose him as the fraud he is!" How long has he been doing this - at least five years now? Nearly everyone knows that he shouldn't be taken seriously. This is no longer about him. It's about the people who insist they despise him, but are content to spew his garbage all over the Internet, regardless of whether it comes with a warning.

And what's with the new-school preamble of, "I heard this on the Internet/this is online everywhere"? We know where it's coming from. Your vague cover-up is doing nothing to help the matter.

Don't feed the machine. It doesn't matter if it's in jest, to point out his ridiculousness, or to just "put it out there." Very few of us - both bloggers and media - are truly in the business of legitimately chasing rumours. There's no need to broadcast these foolish ideas as quickly as possible, even in a casual fashion (such as Twitter).

Media, stop. Bloggers, stop. Hockey fans, stop. Stop talking about him, and stop spreading his [expletive] around.

Why are hockey fans getting so upset at Jay Mohr? I know he's recently unemployed, but I'm sure he didn't ask the NHL if he could host their awards. If the guy doesn't like the sport, that's his prerogative. Is it hypocritical for him to take the gig? Probably, but someone's got to keep Nikki Cox in Rystylane (seriously - Google some recent photos of her).

If anything, it's the NHL that's coming out of this with egg on their faces for not doing their research on the guy. The irony is, now that I know Mohr's hosting, I will make an effort to catch the broadcast, because he actually amuses me. It'll just be icing on the cake if he can goof on Ron MacLean while being forced to introduce Trooper, April Wine or similar.

More later.

P.S.: Jay Mohr once claimed on radio that he would like to wear Maria Sharapova as a hat, hence the title. See? I do my research.

You know this is the type of thing I live for.

You may have heard that a pocket of Senators fans are planning to have a rally in support of Jason Spezza. According to their Facebook page, the gathering is to take place this Saturday at Parliament Hill (as of the writing of this post, there were 131 confirmed guests).

The Ottawa Citizen was tipped off on the gathering, and Allen Panzeri wrote an article about it. Guess what ensued? High comedy, of course. From the Panzeri piece:

"The aim of the rally will be to convince the Ottawa Senators to keep the mercurial centre instead of trading him before his no-trade clause kicks in on July 1."

"Mercurial"? Spezza? Jason would laugh like a lunatic if I waved a Twizzler in front of his face. You know the gold thread on the Ottawa sweaters? They added that so Giggles would have something shiny to hold his attention when he attempted his passes. If Spezza's mercurial, then Chris Pronger is due to appear on an episode of 'The First 48' any day now.

"The participants will come from two Facebook groups that have overlapping memberships: the “Let’s Keep Jason Spezza in Ottawa” group, which has more than 900 members, and the Red Scarf Union, which largely occupies a Section 319 at Scotiabank Place and claims 1,190 members."

Wow, and they're expecting such a turnout already? I guess everyone's going to the cottage that weekend.

Waiting for the icing on the cake? Here it comes:

"(Rally organizer Louise) Tremblay admits to being one of Spezza’s biggest critics initially, but said that with the arrival of coach Cory Clouston, Spezza’s work ethic has improved.

'He’s not floating as much as he used to,' she said."

Bloody hell, if that's not a selling point for a gathering, I don't know what is.

Now, before Senators fans jump down my throat, know this: I'm not anti-rally or anti-Spezza. I'm anti-ridiculousness, which unfortunately for Jason, his fans and Mr. Panzeri, this piece seems to have in spades.

More later.