The Universal Cynic

Alternate title: 98% of the blog readers are male, and I know how you live to check out chicks in lingerie, so don't say that I never do anything nice for you.

P.S. The Cynic does not take requests -- you know how to use Google. Get busy.

Now onto the mail...once again, real mail, from real(ly) bizarre readers.

Is it really necessary to pull crap like this?:

"IDOL TIME: American Idol host Ryan Seacrest was recently involved in an affectionate photo-op with the Stanley Cup. One assumes this would be a great rebound from his recent "relationship" with Teri Hatcher -- the Cup has some meat on its frame and proves to be a better conversation piece."

I'm sure you're not friends with Ms. Hatcher-- in fact, I'm quite sure you've never met her-- and yet you feel as though you are qualified to sit in judgement on her. Sorry sweetie, she can't help it if she's naturally thin and beautiful and adored by many. I know it must be a blow to your own ego in some way that you should need to single her out, but what an ugly, base, lowbrow cheapshot for you to take... Not to mention the fact that it's a tacky "writing" gimmick used by sports columnists accross (sic) the country. You'd be better advised to be a renegade and acquire some taste.



The reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

Oh, please. Are you going to lose sleep over this?

Sincerely,

Eonline!/Gawker/Defamer/US/InTouch/Scoop Editor-in-Chief



The final response:

Hello

I'm actually flattered that you replied (for real). Thank you!