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The Las Vegas Review Journal's Norm Clarke comes through once again, this time with reports that Arizona Cardinals' top pick and general pretty boy Matt Leinart is dating Paris Hilton.

I expressed disgust at this revelation in a casual back-and-forth with Adam at The Hater Nation, who claimed that if "(You) want to know why he's with Hilton, then you should see the video."

Well, I have. And I can tell you that Hiton's moves are straight out of Cosmo, circa '96. Any man with a shred of common sense and a taste for Russian roulette would rather lick a cutting board covered with raw pork, egg white and Ebola virus. Tell me a wholesome, tanned girl from ASU with more tequila than hemoglobin in her bloodstream wouldn't show Leinart a better time.

Memo to Matt: Phoenix is the U.S. capital of female pulchritude. Mix in some restraint, and perhaps a visit to your friendly neighbourhood free clinic. God knows what that crazy chick is carrying...she even seems to be enjoying that cow's company a bit too much.

5 responses to "Matt Leinart/Paris Hilton piss me off"

  1. Quick question : Which Paris is Leinhart dating? The trashy socialite or the Greek-fortune heir? - And more importantly, does it even matter at all in the grand scheme of things?

    mutoni

  2. Paris Latsis? If Leinart was to date a dude, I think he'd go for Nick Lachey first. Just a hunch.

    The Universal Cynic

  3. Got anymore pics of Paris?

    reality check

  4. Yes RC, I do. I also have an underground Eva Longoria-Tony Parker sex tape that has yet to make its world premiere. Would you like that as well?

    The Universal Cynic

  5. I'll let you know! My Roseanne Barr - Bruce Garrioch DVD still works for me! They go through so much Mazola it's unreal!

    reality check