The Universal Cynic

...because .

"Look at me! I'm passive-aggressive, non-committal Senators fan! I'm off this bandwagon quicker than a Bryan Smolinski wind sprint! The way I'm acting, you would assume the final score of Friday night's game was 7-0! It was, wasn't it? Ryan Miller for Vezina! That kid stopped everything! Put Mike Morrison in net for tonight! Give me Dominik Hasek's home address! I have morphine and self-affirmation books for him! I'm convinced the series is done! One bad game means that the series is done! Buffalo destroys! Buffalo is in the Sens' heads just like the Leafs are! Big bad Leafs! It's all about the Leafs! I can't stay on topic! The Senators' chances are OVER, because they lost the first
game! O-V-E-R! Snap go the car flags!"

The preceding rant was brought to you by the Sarcastic Voice of Reason. Please enjoy Game 2 responsibly.

(Aside -- Just because I mentioned the Leafs, doesn't mean we need to comment on them. The series involves Buffalo and Ottawa only. Rodogg, I'm looking at you.)

Is it wrong that I want to rub the Phoenix Suns' series victory in Bill Simmons' face like a grapefruit, James Cagney-style? Way to get ahead of yourself, Mensa. And of course, the victory was made all the sweeter by the presentation of Steve Nash's second MVP award. Unfortunately, the likelihood of Nash's legacy even making a significant difference to the growth of basketball in Canada is slim to none. Ask Wayne Gretzky how hard it is for one person to make a difference. Steve Nash is facing the same battle, and for him it likely would be much harder. Canadians are obsessed with a single sport, and the NBA currently has only one franchise in this country to sell the entire nation on.

And about that other competition on Friday? Someone got screwed. Just sayin'. And don't expect me to defend my gender on this one. Rachel's redneck smack is circa '95 -- she should have been bottom 5. Overall, I thought the field was extremely weak and the material subpar. Seanny has been running away with it far too easily, which makes for an anti-climatic event. Maybe they need to add a swimsuit competition.