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This picture may reach the dizzying heights of the drunk Sundin-Belfour photo for TUC. Seriously. Why doesn't she look like that in any of the SI swimsuit photos?

Anyway, yesterday started out as a quiet day for us -- that is, until The Driver decided to turn on the Sharapova fourth-round match at Wimbledon. Listening to the Russian starlet dominate the baseline makes me feel like I should be paying by the minute. Female tennis players' careers have the lifespan of a medfly, but based on Sharapova's screaming wails, I'm sure she'll experience a fine renaissance in the 1-900 industry.

The former Wimbledon's champ's opponent on Monday was a 24-year-old Italian named Flavia Pennetta, whom we immediately dubbed, "Flava Flav". I was highly disappointed that she wasn't able to complete a comeback on Maria -- her continued play would have made for some sweet column material.

1 response to "Sharapova: Public Enemy No. 1"

  1. I was always pulling for Irene Slutsakaya. In the world of abbreviated nicknames like T-Mac, A-Rod...it would have so appropriate for the times to have an I-Slut. Especially if a photo op with Paris ever arose.

    reality check