The Universal Cynic

Mall purchases, check. Spare tire, check. Dude in a hockey bag...um....

We've all done it: You're hanging out with friends, you have one too many rye and gingers, then you come up with the brilliant idea of attempting to stuff your smallest friend into a hockey bag.

And that's fine -- as long as you don't try to smuggle him across the border in such a fashion.

Two sisters from Virginia have been charged with alien smuggling after they attempted to bring a Haitian man into the U.S., via the Alexandria Bay border crossing.

Benjamin Pierre had initially entered the U.S. illegally in 2003. He was ordered deported in 2006, but fled to Canada before the American government had a chance to send him back to Haiti. He had been dating one of the sisters during this period and planned to marry her -- you know, assuming that they were able to get across the border. I don't think we'll be needing to register for that wedding at Pro Hockey Life any time soon.

As for Mr. Pierre, I hope the ladies had the decency to Febreze that thing out before he got in. Montreal to Alex Bay isn't a 15-minute car ride.

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Link: Border Police find man in hockey bag -- Watertown Daily Times