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You never really know what you're going to find in your junk mail these days. Today's offering: A portrait on Linda Staal in a mini-magazine/advertisement for cheese. (No, really.)

Linda's feature included the prerequisite impish photo of her foursome in their younger days, and tales of how the boys used to go through three bags of milk -- that's 4 litres -- a day. (Confused by the "bagged milk" conundrum? Watch this.) The Staal matriarch also referenced making egg and cheddar sandwiches for her boys after school. Seems normal enough, right?

Then I turned the page.

The second part of the story included "Our guest's recipe." I've posted the page below:

Bananas, ricotta, chocolate and mozzarella? I wanted to run screaming from the room.

Now, as this is an advertisement, it's quite possible that Linda told the interviewer, "I used to make the boys chocolate chip pancakes with bananas," only to have some cheese honk modify the hell out of it. But if by chance this is a Staal recipe, you should know that I have never seen anything like it during my 19 years in the Lakehead. Something effed must be going on up at Mink Mountain, kids.

More later.

3 responses to "The Staals' secret to success: Disgusting food?"

  1. Want your kids to stop living at home? Stop feeding them cheese.

    Want your kids to make the NHL? Don't.

    Dany Heatley Speedwagon

  2. This looks like it came straight from the, "Gallery of Regrettable Food". Google that title - it's a book by Minneapolis Star-Tribune writer James Lileks featuring stomach churning photos and recipes from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. I am old enough to faintly remember some of those 70s recipes, amd they were indeed appalling. I think we need to go back to that era, in fact - recipes like this are likely what prevented childhood obesity.

    Dennis Prouse

  3. that is gross. mark mangino wouldn't even eat that. wait i take that back. he would order those for an xmas gift to himself.

    david coleman