The Universal Cynic

After being disappointed by the news that the Orioles had traded away Lynx favourite John Maine (as well as former Orioles' closer Jorge Julio), I was not prepared to discover who was coming the other way.

Mr. Anna Benson.

Granted, I imagine Anna's husband will work his way into a starting position in Baltimore, but it doesn't solve my problem of all my male colleagues praying for another Tommy John surgery that would require a lengthy rehabilitation in Ottawa. You know, anything to spice up those sparse Lynx media gatherings. I could only hope that one of Hayden Penn's balls would drill her right in the windpipe, given the chance.

Wow, that's one of the more unintentionally dirty-sounding things I've written in a while.