The Universal Cynic

...because I said I would.

All right, you're going to have to cut me a break because I can't find an appropriate video or photo. What I wanted was an image of Stephen Colbert from his show, index finger in the air, balloons dropping on him while he screams, "I called it! I called it!"

I wanted it, because I wanted to show you what my reaction has been to Alexei Kaigorodov's performance in the preseason -- and that's exactly what it looks like.

It wasn't perplexing enough to have every online armchair GM proclaiming Kaigorodov's perpetual greatness, long before he stepped onto terra Canadiana. No, you also had to add the confident claims of the media and the front office loaded behind it, all insisting that Alexei could step into the No. 2 centre position with ease.

Whatever these people were smoking, surely must have been banned by the Conservative government by now.

Even towards the last days before the final roster was announced, some were still attempting to salvage the Russian's performance, by claiming that putting him on a line with Chris Kelly would provide an education in grit. The team even decided to have Kaigorodov room with Kelly on the road, in spite of language concerns.

Kaigorodov has made the final cut, but unlike Denis Hamel, you have to assume that the choice was reached more out of paranoia, as opposed to confidence. If the White Knight ends up in Russia as opposed to Binghamton, the fallout would be substantial. But in spite of joining the big team, Kaigorodov will penciled in as a healthy scratch tonight during the season opener vs. the Leafs. Second line centre, indeed.

Disappointment rating (thus far, out of...I dunno...five?):



Other nonsense...

Enjoying the cool weather lately? The nights have been appropriate for building a nice fire, no? Of course, you could probably use some kindling. Here's some sufficient fuel from the Saturday Sun:

Alfredsson has had his leadership questioned, mostly by those who point out no European NHL captain has raised the Stanley Cup.

Like the team he captains, Alfredsson's post-season play has rarely been up to the standard he sets during the regular season.

He unflinchingly absorbs the criticism and made no apologies for his leadership style.

"Until you win, the criticism is always going to be there. It's part of pro sports. I know myself and my abilities and the way I judge myself and what I think of my own play carries more weight than what anybody writes or thinks. I think it's fair and until we win ... we've had good chances and haven't been able to do it. Most of (the criticism is) fair.

"I believe I don't have to be a big motivator. I'm more of a quiet leader, not just vocally, but I don't want a lot of attention for it because I don't think it's that big a deal being a captain in the NHL. I think we have a lot leaders in this room and I get a lot of great help. It makes my job fairly easy."

Lovely. Is there anything better than putting someone in a position of leadership, only to have them show a frightening amount of indifference? Could you picture Steve Yzerman or Mark Messier delivering a quote like this?

More later.

P.S. A quick note on the Boo Boo avatars: I didn't create them; I don't know who did. But I do enjoy them, and I thought everyone else would as well. Hopefully no one will take them seriously, or in an inflammatory manner. A lot of bizarre things are done with the columnist mugshots -- if you want proof, search the archives for the Sidney Crosby decoupage, created by an enraged reader with my own photo.