The Universal Cynic

A couple of bits that don't fit anywhere else right now. Enjoy.

Ah, the leftover remnants of a Senators fan, desperate for attention during a Tuesday night shootout (literally) vs. the Devils. Keep in mind that the game was broadcast by Sportsnet, but who's counting? And can we please talk about fan behaviour during shootouts? From Butterknife Row, I was able to catch people literally squatting -- they would stand up and cheer the player's announcement (Dany Heatley or similar), but then seemed unsure if they should remain standing, or to sit back down. It (almost) goes without saying that all fans should be a) still in the building and b) on their feet the entire time during the shootout process. Why do I have to keep telling you these things? Aren't you people from "Hockey Country"?

If you witnessed that Renegades Town Hall meeting on A-Channel yesterday, you know why I'm posting this picture. Renegades head coach John Jenkins has drawn comparisons to Ric Flair and Bill Cosby (mostly due to aesthetic reasons), but now you can throw Hank Hill's name into the mix as well. I swear to God, I've never heard a three-dimensional figure utter the words, "I tell you what". But Jenkins did. Multiple times. Combine that, with his brilliant idea to save the Renegades: Jenkins wants to have a telethon. I Dr. Phil-ed for a good two minutes when he said that. This 25-minute broadcast broke the Unintentional Comedy meter. (The previous record was held by any time Liam Maguire chose "reply all" to the group emails that Josh sends out. Liam actually writes "brother" and "g'day" in his missives. It's a legitimate Valley persona. Damnit, that kills me.)

According to the A-Channel's breakdown of "important dates" on the 'Gades calendar, April 4th has been listed as "Drop Dead Day". Guess when the Lynx are holding Media Day?

Sigh.

...because Cynics don't like people who say "jou-jou".


S'up TEETH?!

· Unfortunately, I don't really write about golf because a) I don't have time to get to it after I hit on everything else and b) I suck at it -- my swing's a combination of Charles Barkley and the Bionic Woman. That being said, it doesn't mean that I don't care about it. I've followed Mike Weir's career since he was "Mike Weir, Esquire". I can even tell you where I was when he won the Masters: I was on my way to Vegas and had just passed through customs. When I got word, I was tripping out so badly that The Driver thought U.S. Homeland Security was going to give me the boot.

Anyway, I was just as happy to see Stephen Ames pull through at The Players Championship yesterday. But this piece from James Duthie irked me a bit:

But we all know that when he's in contention, almost every Canadian golf fan roots wildly for Mike Weir.

And why not?

He's the little Canadian that could. A wannabe hockey player, just like you!
A grinder who won the freakin' Masters!

Weirsy is your boy!

So when he tripled The Fourth, I bet more than a few of you flipped over to March Madness.

And Stephen Ames?


Well…sure…you were politely clapping for him, too. Hey, anytime the Canadian flag is on top of the leader board, it looks pretty cool.

But c'mon, Stephen Ames? He's…not really Canadian…right? I mean geez, he's from Trinidad and Tobago, and only moved to Canada because his wife's from here. No way he ever played hockey.

This is what we do sometimes in our country. We grade people on how Canadian they really are.

I'm not going to disagree with the main analysis. But truthfully, how Canadian is Mike Weir? The Boy from Bright's Grove has lived in UTAH for years -- he even went to BYU. Stephen Ames willingly became a resident of this country. And who doesn't love Ames' personality? Mike Weir (whom I also adore) maintains that sheepish persona that is so often attributed to Canadians. Ames is emotional. He's candid. He's playful. In short, he's good for golf...especially Canadian golf.

(Aside -- Ames also looks exactly like a ventriloquist from The Ed Sullivan Show whose name escapes me right now. I'll probably scream it out in the middle of the night, and The Driver will think I'm cheating on him.)

· What a shock: Toronto doesn't like the idea of Hockey Night in Canada being moved to another network. I don't understand what the big deal is. Other networks would still maintain a Torontocentric mentality, but also possess the financial ability to broadcast regionally and/or nationally with shorter notice for scheduling changes. That's the excuse we were given for the lack of regional broadcasting in regards to the Buffalo-Ottawa game two weeks ago, correct? Strangely enough, I also received several emails from American residents living close to the border, who claim that HNIC is their only refuge from horrific American broadcasting, and that they don't have access to TSN and Sportsnet with their cable packages. I wish there were actual numbers available to give us an idea of how many Americans this situation applies to. Regardless, I can tell you that when I was still living in the land of Staalapalooza™, TSN was a long time coming on basic cable. I shirked the tradition of HNIC, choosing instead to watch the local Detroit affiliate's coverage of the Red Wings. I wonder how they're going to respond to that revelation?

The style of camerawork, replays etc. on Canadian other networks is at the very least on par with the CBC. It's only one night of hockey a week we're talking about. Get over it.

Besides, I think everyone at the CBC is catching Bob Cole's cryogenic fever (yes, I know that's an oxymoron...go with it). When Edmonton missed an empty-net goal with the shot ringing off the post last Saturday, Greg Millen dropped this bomb: "There's something I've never seen in a long time."

Whew...I'm torched. More tomorrow.

Steppenwolf's John Kay and...


...Gonzaga's Adam Morrison?

P.S. Bloody hell, Adam got to it as well. Why don't we just man up and admit we thieved the idea from Rob?

I'm the biggest nerd evah, but truthfully, it was bugging me that he hadn't referenced it yet. This is from Simmons' SportsNation chat this aft:

Antar, Thunder Bay, Canada: When the hell are you going to drop the Katie Holmes v. Michelle Williams corollary on us? Seriously, did anyone see this coming? When Dawson's Creek wrapped, Holmes all but had the "America's Sweetheart" title wrapped up in a neat little bow. Michelle Williams was a fringe actor who was two steps away from Cinemax. The whole thing got turned on its head. The former is now an unmarried pregnant Catholic girl, linked to the craziest man in Hollywood. She's not damaged goods -- she's destroyed. The latter bagged Heath Ledger and an Oscar nom. Scoreboard much?

Bill Simmons: (2:00 PM ET ) I've been thinking about this one for awhile... the weird thing is that she's HOTTER than Katie Holmes now. Who would have seen that one coming? it's like Jimmy King turning out to be the best NBA player out of the Fab Five - the odds had to be 1 million to one.

My favourite sights during tonight's game vs. Pittburgh:

3) A fan in section 119 sporting an 'O6 home jersey with the phrase, "Git-R-Done";

2) An entire Sens home audience giving a standing ovation to the CIS Champion Carleton Ravens Men's basketball team (you know Death Cluster in Vegas would've loved that -- I was completely nonplussed);

1) A fan in section 120 with a giant prop box of tissues labeled "Crosby Kleenex".

My favourite sight that I missed:

There was a drunk guy in the standing section of 318 -- when I went down to visit The Driver, he kept mentioning how irritating he was. Said drunk guy peeled off in the middle of the 3rd, and streaked the entire section before heading to the concourse where he was subsequently nabbed. And the coup de grâce? His friends took off with his clothes.

...because I had Bradley in my brackets, so take a suck of that.

I'm a little behind and we've got a lot to get to. Welcome back and yeah hey, little Cynics. Let's get started...

· The story of Sundin's/Alfredsson's stick apparently had legs throughout the week. Alfredsson, when questioned, explained the stick was a model that Sundin had previously used in his career. Fine and good, right? Not necessarily. When Alfredsson arrived in Ottawa from Torino, my spies tell me that he returned with a stick marked with Sundin's name on it, as well as one of the 'qvists goalie sticks -- tape was covering the entire name, so they were unable to discern which goaltender it belonged to. So what's the story? Are they souvenirs from the gold medal victory? Are both Alfie and Sundin now using the same stick -- regardless if they were, why weren't they respectively marked?

(Aside -- Yes, that is indeed a cartoon of Mats Sundin. I don't know if that trumps the drunk Sundin/Belfour photo, but it's pretty damned good. Be warned: There's more to come. *shudder*)

· Take a hint, Pittsburgh -- your pathetic arena made a feeble attempt to off itself and you had the audacity to save its miserable life. On the same night, this latest reach by TSN regarding Sidney Crosby was made: "That was almost a highlight reel-worthy play!" Does Sidney play horseshoes? I might be ahead of the curve here, but I have yet to hear the following Crosby defense regarding his battle with Alexander Ovechkin for the Calder Trophy, media headlines, individual NHL supremacy etc.: It's a marathon, not a sprint. We'll see who ends up with the most scoring titles, Cups et al. Isn't the last line of defense for a player who for all intents and purposes, has been completely overshadowed by his competition? Alexander Ovechkin is currently 5th in scoring with 85 points. It's not likely that he could win the Hart trophy, but the argument could be made that he's undoubtedly the most important member of the Capitals' franchise. Pittsburgh fans may be nonplussed by this fact. I think they should get used to it.

· Speaking of MVP candidates, why is Joe Thornton's name being left by the wayside? The immediate argument may be based on the Sharks' current record (33-23-10, 76 points and currently in 10th place). But it's important to remember that Thornton didn't join the Sharks until November 30th. At that time, their record was 8-12-4, and they were on a ten-game losing streak. Since the trade, San Jose has gone 25-11-6. Other players have benefited as well, most notably Thornton's linemate, Jonathan Cheechoo. Cheechoo amassed only 15 points before Thornton's arrival. He has bagged 54 points since then, including a remarkable four hat tricks. Joe remains only two points behind Jagr in the points race as of tonight, with 99. His name deserves consideration for the Hart.

More tomorrow, immediately following the Penguins game.

On their way out of Ottawa last night, the Sens left from MacDonald-Cartier, as opposed to their regular Shell station departure point. My spies tell me that Meszaros was walking with a "definite limp". However, the Senators Media Line reported no new injuries following the Buffalo game. If the young defenseman plays poorly tonight in New Jersey, you'll know why. Stay tuned.

I returned from SoCal early Tuesday morning, and I'm still a bit torched. I'm now on my way out to the valley (sigh) to pick up Peanut, whom I missed dearly during my travels. I spent most of yesterday sleeping, catching up on television (24, PTI etc.). I also managed to watch most of the game (Arnason invisible for the majority...way to help the Leafs). Alternatively, I could blame Tampa Bay for not putting in a greater effort in order to ensure them coming out with at least a point. Some fan I am. And what the hell's wrong with the Rangers? They've been unable to right the ship since the break.

Jesus...I'm babbling. Anyway, long story short...the Deglaze is delayed until next week and will return to its usual position on Monday.

P.S. I watched The Sopranos in San Diego and wasn't that impressed. 24, on the other hand, appears to have a death quota to fill. Ryan Chappelle had such an emotional death two seasons ago, meanwhile Tony, who's been part of the series since the first season, gets the needle. Seriously? I'm hoping the entire cast goes into "whisper quiet" mode as a tribute.

...or rather, LoCal. Del Mar, to be specific. This entire area is completely buggered. I spent the majority of the trade deadline on the 405, viewing most of Orange County from the freeway. I hooked up with Sportnet's text messaging system, and was able to receive information about most of the trades on the road.

I'm dying to know what the local reaction was to the Arnason trade. One can only get so much reaction from the message boards and papers. I've found that quite a few people seem concerned by Arnason's lack of grit. Varada, Neil, McGrattan et al...how much do you need? I think the bulk of negative sentiment has arisen from the media's insistence that the team had Olli Jokinen in the bag. When Jokinen re-signed with the Panthers, one was really left to wonder what Muckler had up his sleeve.

I read an interesting quote from Muckler in the Citizen this aft -- "You don't get guys when they're at their best," Muckler said in a quiet moment after his media scrum at the Scotiabank Place. What intelligent person wouldn't agree with that assessment? You need to go after someone with a flaw -- a player with potential that's going through a cold streak; a guy that doesn't have chemistry with the rest of the team in the dressing room. Those "negative" attributes become your bargaining chips. Word has it that Chicago was looking to get Antoine Vermette in return for Arnason. Could you have imagined the uproar such a trade would have caused?

Muckler was insistent that the Senators weren't going to lose a member of the current squad. That type of thinking seriously reduces the options available for a trade. You can't conjure up a Stanley Cup-winning offensive/two-way/faceoff specialist star name centres out of thin air, and furthermore, you can't expect to get one without giving up a lot.

Senators fans would complain about this move, but likely would've balked more if Muckler had stood pat. That's just their way. Arnason was a +2 tonight, with an assist in just over ten minutes of play tonight during the game vs. the Thrashers. It'll be a test of Murray's ability if he can groom Arnason into the talented player that he's more than capable of being.

P.S. That photo is from the parking garage of the Westin LAX.

...because I'm a hypocrite for going to SoCal. Why don't I just take up smoking?

·Donald Brashear displays his disdain for Brokeback Mountain and the NHL -- although not necessarily in that order. The Philly enforcer apparently has a problem with the game being adjusted to favour the skilled players. Don, you'll just have to adapt -- after all, Domi did. Oh, wait a minute...

Speaking of Domi and the Leafs, they're currently rocking the outside of the playoff bubble like no one's business. You had to love that 1,000 game ceremony for Domi before the Sens dropped the hammer on them (again) Saturday night. And how about the Leafs kicking in for Domi's new wine cellar? After all, nothing says "tough guy" like letting the entire world know you're an oenophile.

(Aside -- can you ever get enough of that picture? I know I can't.)


· Meanwhile, Steve Simmons has up and lost his mind (yes, again)
by suggesting that the Leafs drop McCabe and go after Chara in free agency. After all, "you could build a winner around Chara". Get the bloody hell outta here! Really? And all this time I figured we were trying to do that with Varada. Anyway, you can trust this scenario would occur over John Muckler's already-embalmed corpse. If Zdeno were to jump ship to the dark side, it would make the Johnny Damon incident look like a tea party.



· After watching 24 tonight, we now know why Elisha Cuthbert hasn't been posting on her NHL blog -- she's trapped in the communications room of CTU, attempting to escape the "Syntox nerve gas". And is anyone seriously disappointed that Edgar kicked it? My money was on Curtis. Next up: President Logan's wife. (Please, for the love of God...)

(Aside #2 -- I know you were hoping for an Elisha picture here. It's my blog, damnit. Too bad.)

· Finally, the biggest local story of last week (besides the Marcus Allen-esque insistence that the Sens are going after Olli Jokinen), involved the resignation of Lonie Glieberman from the Renegades. The Driver was dead-set on getting me to write about the 'Gades this week, but I refused. Why? Well, it might have something to do with the fact that no one cares about Ottawa's CFL team...especially in Ottawa. The timestamp on the above TSN story is 12:23 p.m. When I went back to check for comments at midnight on the same day, guess how many there were? Zero. Even now, nearly five days later, there are only 23 posts. Combine that, with the recent poll the Team 1200 had on their website -- the question was, "With Lonie stepping down, are the Renegades taking a step in the right direction?" -- 38.4% said they didn't care. I echo that sentiment wholeheartedly. There's nothing that could possibly hold my interest in the CFL. Even the players for the Lynx are working towards something. The CFL is nothing more than an NFL dumping ground. I'm convinced that this city hadn't thought beyond hosting a Grey Cup. Now they're stuck with a dying football franchise that they don't know what to do with. Lovely.

I'm leaving for SoCal on Wednesday, but I'll try and post something from there. I spell like the English, curse like the French and am paler than JJ Redick -- I guarantee at least one of those characteristics will freak the locals out. See you later this week.

Meet Ch. Hartgersotten's Bode Miller -- a standard Schnauzer who has been tearing it up on the Arizona dog show circuit. Bode the Champion also appears to enjoy the snow, as displayed on his web page. Hopefully that's where the similarities end between the loser skier and his namesake. No word if Bode the Schnauzer also enjoys a malt beverage gently poured into his food dish, and a visit to the bitches' kennels after his epic runs -- his svelte physique and excellent hindquarters will definitely ensure more luck with the ladies. After his 0-for-5 showing in Torino, we're assuming that the real Bode was reduced to drunken self-pleasure in the snowbanks outside of the Olympic village. Good luck to both Bodes -- at least we know that one of you is capable of some success. And hey, loser -- the next time you straddle a gate for the DQ, do what the champ does: Blame it on an ingrown dewclaw.

Because it was my goal in life to receive an email from John Rocker's publicist...

· Praise your various gods, puck junkies. The NHL resumed today. There are some that still believe the NHL's presence at the Winter Olympics should continue. After the quality of hockey I observed during the entire tournament, I'm not so sure. There are obvious benefits of being able to see players like Kovalchuk, Ovechkin and Kovalev play together. But for every treat there were various disappointments. Multiple times during the tournament, I was reminded of pre-lockout play. This can be attributed to two things: The reimergence of the trap, and obstruction penalties (both called and uncalled).

For the most part, I didn't notice a difference in speed, which normally occurs with the larger ice surface -- the only exception to that would be the Canadians, who were surprisingly slow. My concern right now is that some of this play will make its way across the pond and begin to slowly resurface within the NHL. The officials have a responsibility to maintain the the crackdown on obstruction, but the Finns were able to demonstrate how the trap hasn't lost its potency. Newer rules have made it difficult for teams to implement the trap, but coaches are creative. Hopefully the fine balance that has been struck thus far will continue.

· Here's a thought: Do you think that Bryan McCabe sent Todd Bertuzzi a fruit basket after they returned from Torino? After all, when the critics came out en masse against Team Canada, it was Bertuzzi's pick in the quarterfinal game vs. the Russians that was referred to as "the penalty that killed Canada". (I'm using quotation marks because that was exactly how Ron MacLean referenced it after the game.) McCabe finished the tournament with a -3 and 18 penalty minutes -- the most out of the entire team. He was repeatedly called for easily prevented infractions and appeared overwhelmed for the majority of games. Okay, so he prevented a goal. Does that redeem his play? Doubtful. But with a single penalty, Bertuzzi was thrust in the spotlight (yet again) for emotional play, coming at the cost of the team. I wonder how Glenn Healy feels about Bryan's performance? After all, it was the TSN analyst that jocked the inclusion of McCabe harder than anyone.

· As I referenced above, I received an email from John Rocker's publicist after what I wrote in this week's column. I found what appeared to be John Rocker's profile on match.com, after perusing SportsbyBrooks -- the profile has since been removed, but you can read the story on SbB (3/4 of the way down the page as of today). Here's what I wrote:

"Cheers to SportsbyBrooks.com for unearthing John Rocker's profile on match.com. Rocker describes himself as "mature," with a penchant for bowling and erotica (respectively, not combined ... I hope). He's so cosmopolitan. All this time I assumed he was just a racist who could run fast."

Here was the response:

"As John Rocker's publicist, I can assure you he isn't on match.com."

Debi Curzio
Public Relations & Promotions

Bloody hell...how many of these do you think she sent out? I know
Deadspin also received one after posting the story.

· In spite of me catching Olympic fever (not to be confused with anything that would require a round of penicillin and a trip to the free clinic), I will not miss hearing or seeing any references to that freeloading tool, Bode Miller. Miller has all but admitted that he used his Olympic experience to party on his corporate sponsors' and Team USA's dime. And this would all be forgotten if he hadn't gone 0-for-5 on the podium. What a jackass. Oh, and by the way, I'm convinced that SI photoshopped out his beer gut from the ski team's cover photo several weeks ago. No one gets down that much, only to appear shockingly svelte in a skinsuit in a much-publicized photo. And if you saw him in action in Torino, you know what I'm talking about.

See you tomorrow. Uh...maybe.

I'm not going to hang about and wait for someone to put a pretty spin on any game the Finns participate in. It's the trap, it sucks and I can't wait until it's over.

So that's it -- a day off that you can chalk up to Olympic burnout. The only Senators players left in the tournament are Anton Volchenkov and Daniel Alfredsson. Heatley, Spezza and Redden are scheduled to return to the city soon, and practices with the rest of the team are already underway. Puck bunnies, rejoice. I'll see you Monday.

"If you just sit back and record what you see; the tragic and exquisite are the same to some degree. But most events depict a common theme: There's far more disorder than there is harmony."
-- Bad Religion's Mediocrity

I'm not here to pose the pensive questions about who should've been on the roster and who should have stayed behind. The holier-than-thou Canadian media deem that to be below them...but then, they proceed to launch into a discussion of Staal v. Bertuzzi. Sigh.

Is it wrong of me to be strangely relieved that this is all over for Canada? Is it wrong of me to place my priorities with what occurs on the Senators squad?

Stanley Cup first. Gold medal second. Those are my priorities, and if that makes me an unpatriotic heathen, so be it.

I know it makes little to no sense. Sure, it's nice to see Sakic and Thornton in Canadian jerseys. The American fans and media like to remind Canada on a regular basis that, "they may be yours, but they play for us". The Olympics are one of those rare occasions where the elite come home and represent the nation.

Pity they couldn't pull off anything successful.

It's pleasant, and it's refreshing. But ultimately I hold no allegiance to Sakic, Thornton or any other player in a non-Senators uniform. And I know there are no guarantees for players like Alfredsson or Chara to remain in an Ottawa jersey permanently. But these are the players I associate with the most. I spend year in, and year out cheering for them. I cover them for the majority of the year.

The Senators had a mind-boggling eight players head over to Torino to participate in the Olympic tournament (nine, if you include Jason Spezza's position with the taxi squad). Dominik Hasek has already gone down with an injury that will sideline him once the NHL resumes. And rumours of other minor injuries to Ottawa players are surfacing as the tournament continues.

It's sounds pathetic and maternal, but I can't wait for the Olympics to be over and for the remaining Senators to return to Ottawa (hopefully in good health and spirits). I'm well beyond concentrating my focus on the Olympic run. It's the Stanley Cup run that I care about now. Truth be told, it was my priority, long before Canada exited the preliminary round.

The following is a transcript from an audio clip that Lee Jenkins recorded for the New York Times website on late Tuesday:

Hi, this is Lee Jenkins reporting on the men’s Olympic hockey team in Turin, Italy. The result of all the upsets in the early rounds actually might have had a fringe benefit for the United States. In the quarterfinals the United States is going to face Finland, which isn’t regarded as one of the powerhouses, even though they’ve had a successful run in the Olympics. In many ways the United States would rather face a team like Finland than face Canada, which is known as the most dominant team in the field, even though they’ve lost twice.

By facing Finland, the U.S. could probably harbor some chances for an upset. Finland has only allowed two goals in the Olympics, but they don’t have that truly marquee goaltender. The Americans have had a hard time scoring goals in their first few games of the tournament, but if they can get past the Finland goaltender once or twice, they feel they can get the confidence to bust through.

The player the Americans will have to stop is Finland’s Teemu Selanne, who was actually on the verge of retirement a few years ago, but now has become the offensive star of these Olympics. Containing Selanne will be key for the Americans to advance to the semi-finals, and to have a chance at a medal.

Good luck to you!

UPDATE: The U.S. fell to Finland 4-3 early this afternoon. Doug Weight, feel free to resume your ping-pong.

This was the poll from ESPN's Page 2 that was posted on Tuesday.

Who's been the biggest flop? (after 3,920 votes)

Bode Miller -- 54.5%

The person that wrote this question -- 24%

Ricky Williams -- 10.3%

Canadian men's Olympic hockey team -- 6.8%

Apolo Anton Ohno -- 3%

Dale Earnhardt Jr. 1.1%

Not to go completely homer on everyone, but is it fair to be putting Canada on this list when they weren't even out of the preliminary round?

Because if I were Dick Pound, I'd not only have a porn star name, but I'd check into getting the women's ice hockey medals to count as 18 towards our total, as opposed to one...



We're keeping busy through the Olympic break with plenty to talk about. And apparently when Peter hasn't been battling injuries, he's been busy as well. Let's get to it.

· Adductor, abductor, groin, leg...who knows anymore? Hasek's injury was serious enough to force his return to the Nation's Capital, and it is not yet clear how much time, if any, Dom will miss once the Senators resume play. I tackled this issue in Sunday's column, as well as the quandary that John Muckler faces in regards to the upcoming trade deadline. It's been well documented the Senators are seeking a top-flight centre, but many are speculating that Muckler may be seeking insurance in net, beyond the slumping Ray Emery. The name that keep coming up in Sens Nation is Curtis Joseph. This is a bizarre suggestion. Anyone that is potentially brought in must strike a fine balance with the No. 1 goalie, regardless of whether he's up and running. Has everyone forgotten the history between CuJo and Hasek in Detroit? My preference right now is Vesa Toskala. He wants out of San Jose, his salary is manageable (he'll be making $684,000 in 2005-06 -- all terms US) and his numbers currently do not reflect his legitimate potential as a true No. 1.

(And as for the Hasek conspiracy theory -- the one that suggests he's exaggerating to prepare for the playoffs and to save face with the Czech Republic -- cynics, take heart. Dom is far too competitive to pull a stunt like this. And besides, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't okay with it. Right now, a Stanley Cup is this fan's priority.)

·Wasn't Wayne Gretzky supposed to deflect the heat? Gretzky has come down on the young guns, stressing an improvement in play. First of all, when did "young players" refer to those in the 26-30 age range? There's no Staal or Spezza to criticize thus far. I would have to believe these first-timers are looking to the veterans for leadership -- should we assume that players like Chris Pronger are setting the ultimate example of how to win an Olympic championship? Bottom line: No one has stepped up, young or old. No one is debating that veteran leadership would assist in the dressing room, but you can't expect the roster from the '87 Canada Cup to roll out against some of the speed that Canada will need to face in this tournament. Youth is necessary, but so is assertive, simplified play and behaviour. And as of right now, Gretzky may want to rethink his psychological strategy. He's the most effective when he absorbs the pressure and media scrutiny. Perhaps Janet can set up a 3-card Monte table outside the Olympic village tonight. Anything to deflect the attention from the team.

· The women's team got it done today and switching from the CBC to the NBC coverage was high comedy. Some classic analysis included the statement that, "This next goal will make it either 2-1 Sweden, or 3-0 Canada," and "The game known as Ringette is quite popular in Central Canada."

Do you know how long I've gone without a quality ringette reference? (Sigh) I miss home.

(Okay, so these guys weren't there. But damned if they don't look like they're having fun, right?)

It's definite trip city mode for the Canadian media, as they prepare to put the doomsday spin on Team Canada's second consecutive game in which they shot blanks. Can this vasectomy be reversed?

(Most people wouldn't have stooped to that level. I'm not most people.)

During this afternoon's game, I saw a lot of the same problems befalling the Senators before the Olympic break. Sure, Team Canada doesn't have a remedy for the trap right now (shocking when you consider who's behind the bench), but there's more to it than that. Not beating your man to the puck. Coming out flat, and letting the opponent control the tempo. Missing those key second chances on the rebound. (Does Rick Nash play horseshoes? He's coming so close.) And of course, Marcus Allen's Key To Victory: Winning faceoffs.

During a rare Shirley Temple-esque moment, Bob Cole felt the need to remind the CBC audience that our team is "trying ever so hard", and it should be noted that there was a marked improvement in Canada's play during the second and third periods.

Cynics should also recall that in 2002, Team Canada didn't gel completely until the last game in the preliminary round, coincidentally against the Czech Republic -- Canada's upcoming opponent on Tuesday.

This type of hopeful outlook is beneficial in the meantime, but some of the criticism has been perplexing. During the after-game commentary and analysis with Ron MacLean and Kelly Hrudey, MacLean began to question the play of some of the "youngsters" on the squad. Thankfully Hrudey had the good sense to remind him that players like Mario Lemieux and Steve Yzerman were no longer a viable option (truthfully, he didn't word it quite as delicately). How can one want to question the youth (read: speed) factor when Team Canada is facing a squad with velocity like the Finns?

The Finnish team seems to be thoroughly enjoying proving people that they are indeed for real, regardless of whether Miikka Kiprusoff is backing them to victory or not. Remember that it was the Finnish team that was the runner-up to Canada in the 2004 World Cup. Their hockey program has legs and prospects to come -- their junior team clinched bronze in the World Junior tournament this year. Very impressive feats for a nation of 5 million people.

Pat Quinn and Co. have a day to regroup before they give it another go. Hopefully the team has some bonding activities in the works on Monday.

I'll be on North Coast Hockey Tonight at 6:30 on the Sports Talk Cleveland network. Streams are available on the website.