The Universal Cynic

* After sending a text to Bad Religion's Greg Hetson, warning him that Ottawa could put him to sleep at the Staples Center: "Thanks -- I'll bring a book." (Ed. Note: The game was actually better than expected.)

* Gord Miller: "Remember, Ottawa no longer has their swingman in Christoph Schubert."
Pierre: "Excellent point, Gord. Schubert was very valuable as their swingman."

The Driver: "Pfft...valuable at swinging the door open to the press box."

A bit muddled, but the point was made.

* Chris Phillips isn't going to win any awards for his acting skills. What a brutal dive by the veteran in the second half of the third.

* Pierre on Brian Elliott's frustration after the sixth goal: "Whenever you start hitting inanimate objects with your stick, that's a whole lot of ugly."

The Driver: "If that's the case, (Elliott) should've hit (Matt) Carkner."

For the record, The Driver has been on Wayne Simmonds's bandwagon for some time. I think a team with Fisher (with country/American-Idol-hybrid-music-offensive-firepower) and Simmonds would send him into a seizure. You know -- the good kind.

P.S.: So amusing to see the east coast crowd stand up and take notice that the Kings are a fun team to watch, and they're actually talented. Thanks for joining us in 2009, Mensas. Consider springing for Centre Ice sometime -- it's a lovely tonic to boost you out of the Eastern Conference coma.