The Universal Cynic

...because everyone's seemingly desperate for something to talk about.

· Hello, Media? Sanity here. Since when is the half-baked idea of throwing Jason Spezza to the wolves considered to be new? Who are all these fans that are proclaiming that there's no place for Spezza in a complete lineup? I love how in the time that this kettle went from a simmer to a full boil, the media made it sound as if fans were burning Spezza effigies at the SBP, and placing homemade placards around Kanata condemning him (this has happened to other members of the organization in the past). I was seeking at least some of these signs -- similar to when people were calling for Jacques Martin's head. None of them were to be found.

Eventually I asked a friend where all this so-called Spezza hatred was coming from. The answer? The radio. Now I should explain that I don't listen to much of the Team these days. If anything, I may catch a bit of J.R. and Galley in the late aft, but even that tends to be sporadic. Listening to radio personalities finding hilarity in viewing women sporting Chad Johnson and Reggie Bush jerseys qualifies as a murder defense.

Anyway, I'm getting off track. Back to Spezza...

Let me get this straight: No 1. centre gets injured, team plays well without him, radio talk begins regarding player's worth, and the media reacts like this?

I get that they're desperate for something to talk about -- don't misconstrue that as sympathy, but I do understand to a degree. How does a little chatter go from restless discussion to the insinuation that Jason Spezza will be "understandably" driven to the trade-demanding diva route?

I hope others can give the kid a bit more credit than that.

Spezza knows what's expected of him. Undoubtedly he will be on a short leash when he returns, and the events of the past week have amplified his expectations and shortcomings to the nth degree. No one's debating that he needs to remain consistent, become defensively responsible and grow into a leader of the franchise. But he's also a playmaker who's 23 years old. He's going to (expletive) up, and there are plenty of other teams that are willing to have him do so in their respective uniforms.

The kid is staying -- deal with it. In the meantime, please stop fanning the flames of stupidity.

· Last Friday, I was out with The Driver running some errands, and stopped into Pesto's on Hazeldean.

(Aside: Pesto's, for those from The Land of Staalapalooza, has become my Nucci's/Maltese's replacement, although they lack a bakery. In spite of this, their gnocchi and various sauces still rate a full five Boo Boo avatars. I can't explain my joy at finding them, because I was convinced for nearly a decade that Ottawans wouldn't know an Italian deli if it smacked them upside the arse.)

Anyway, Pesto's is known in Kanata as one of those "spot the Senators" hotspots. In the near four years that I've lived out here, I have yet to see a player in the deli... until last week.

So why is a so-called media member making a big deal about seeing a player out and about?

Here's why: I didn't say a word to Fisher. In fact, I never talk to the players if I can at all help it.

For the record, he was not wearing his "Full Contact Fishing" hat. Do you think it's advisable for someone as injury-prone as No. 12 to engage in "full contact fishing"? I'd hope he'd mix in a life jacket before considering it.

Anyway, back to the story... I don't talk to the players, because it has never been essential to the column. The premise has always been to write from the fans' perspective -- fans view from afar. Generally, I'm not a fan of interviews, and rarely do I enjoy reading them -- especially those pertaining to hockey. And even when you make the effort to engage the subject in a different subject, they still can spit out the same cliches. There have been exceptions for me. Some of the most notable were the American-born players that attended the 2005 Entry Draft. Players like Jack Skille, Jack Johnson, Ryan Stoa, and yes, even Brian Lee gave wonderfully articulate and well-thought answers to my questions. I was incredibly impressed with them.

I remember reading Bill Simmons once stating that he didn't like doing interviews because it ruined the mystique -- you have one impression of a player in your head, and if you talk to them, and they let you down, it completely messes with your perception. I agree with that to a point. Unfortunately in this business, you still manage to discover things about players that disappoint you -- even without speaking a word to them -- and it alters the way you previously thought of the players.

How does everyone feel about player interviews? Is there something you'd like to know about someone that has yet to have been asked?

And finally -- who noticed during the Pats-Colts game that Phil Simms was advising the Colts that "Change is good, but bad for (Indy)" and "(Peyton Manning) must play the same, but different"? What exactly resides in that oversized melon of his? Helium? Sawdust?

More later.