The Universal Cynic

Your ass was warned. The goodness (or a reasonable facsimile of it) begins at 7:45.

Yeah, so I know this'll go over about as well as your wife's/significant other's flannel onesie on Saturday night, but here's the thing...

A handful of games in which the Sens appear, well, relatively effective, is a good thing -- no one's debating that here. But can we all calm down in regards to players like Brian Elliott and Brendan Bell? The way some are going on about Elliott, you'd think they were fantasizing about getting a rubdown with that hot glove hand of his. As I pointed out to the OBC last night, many goaltenders have seen bright moments in this town before crashing and burning. There's absolutely no harm in letting him play out the string -- it'll help him get a feel for the big leagues, and it likely won't hamper his development. That being said, you'll have to excuse me if I don't feel like he deserves a Vezina nomination just yet. History does NOT run in this kid's favour. Credit to him if he beats the odds, but I'm not betting on it. Just saying.

As for Bell -- yes, it's all very lovely that the Sens are getting offensive production from someone on a two-way contract, but given the Sens' overall defensive woes, I think we need to keep it in perspective. A team that considers Brendan Bell as its potential power play QB of the future is a team in desperate need of a blueline makeover.

Well, that's all for this week. Expect things to be quiet around here for the next couple of days -- The Driver and I have plans this weekend (I'm expecting Chris Cuthbert imitations over dinner), but meet us back here on Monday, when the OBC will be hooking up a live blog for the game vs. Nashville. Topics on the agenda include SLC's burlesque house etiquette, the possible re-emergence of Antoine Vermette and whether it's acceptable to bark at the powerhouse actor known as Colm Feore. Trust us, it'll all make sense if you show up.

More later.

Here's the thing: The OBC likes to talk...a lot. We talk more than your annoying sister-in-law after she's gotten into the Kahlua. And when people like us begin to toss ideas around, well, interesting things can happen...

You may be familiar with the "We Are All Canucks" media campaign in Vancouver -- TUC's friend Alanah from Kukla's Korner was part of it. Smiling, happy fans in Canucks merch, sprinkled with Vancouver players have been plastered all over buses, SkyTrains and similar throughout the city.

The OBC, familiar with this marketing scheme and depressed by the state of its own franchise, decided it was time for a bit of a Sens-flavoured spin. Six photos, one from each member, representing our current state of mind -- however pathetic and alcohol-soaked it may be. We've entitled this pictorial monstrosity, "A Farce United". (This is a play on the Sens' current slogan, "A Force United". Get it? Get it? Oh, Christ...)




Here I am with Mr. Heatley (or a Todd McFarlane-created facsimile). Dany may wear No. 15, but we've been associating the number 50 with him for some time now (he was a 50-goal scorer in back-to-back seasons in '05-'06 and '06-'07). However, given Heatley's underachieving ways of late, I thought it was time to demonstrate which type of 50 he's probably more interested in these days.

Too much? Not enough? Think you can do better? Send us your own version. We can't guarantee it won't be mocked, but if it's decent, you could see it on one of the OBC blogs.

In the meantime, check out the contributions from Five For Smiting, Hockeyschlock, Sens at Land's End and Scarlett Ice. Many camera angles were considered and much hard liquor was consumed -- or so I'm told. Enjoy our pain, dear readers. It's our Christmas gift to you.

More later.

The OBC has thrown together an impromptu live blog for this afternoon's tilt between the Sens and Blueshirts. From the sound of initial discussion, I may be the only sober participant, but who knows what the afternoon may bring? If you want to chime in, drag your punk ass over to Scarlett Ice, and plead your case to Sherry and DHS. We'll promise you good fun and more inappropriate cracks than the press box, but with less popcorn on the floor. Come back to join us at 2:45 pm, won't you?

Cynics, you can't imagine my happiness after returning from the U.S. yesterday to this glorious news. Birds are singing, deer are eating from my hand...I feel like I'm in a Disney movie (or an election campaign for Barack Obama). Read it one more time for good measure:

To make up for the loss of grit, the Senators recalled Cody Bass from Binghamton of the AHL. In 16 games with the Baby Sens this season, Bass has one goal and one assist while adding 37 minutes in penalties.

Just ignore those stats that make our boy seem like he serves less of a purpose. The Senators backed up the Brinks truck to guys like Spezza and Heatley -- they can score the goals. The OBC's player of choice is here to kick some ass along the boards, to mock the ways of yore, and to add some general intrigue to a team that lately, is the equivalent of an Ambien tablet with a warm milk chaser. The OBC will quietly standby to see how Bass' call-up develops. If he looks like he'll be staying for a while, be warned: We're coming for you, and we're armed with poly-cotton blend.

__________

For the uninitiated, The Ottawa Bloggers Collective consists of the following misfits:

Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Creator of massive e-mail chains and general Deadspin honk

Freewillig: Keeping tabs on the team from below the 49th parallel

Miss Meaghan: Balancing out the estrogen representation for the OBC on the West Coast

Miss Sherry: Responsible for infiltration behind enemy lines and quirky antics

Senators' Lost Cojones: Her Majesty's Keeper of all things Simpsons-related

TUC: Rumour-mongering, punk rock and giving sports media the bitchface

Now you know. No more questions...we have much work to do.

(Photo Credit: The mad hotness that is Scarlett Ice)

Sherry from SI had an up-close encounter with OBC favourite Cody Bass during the Toronto Marlies' home opener last night -- click the link for all the details.

The Sens' coolness and general intrigue factor dropped through the freaking floor today, when news broke that the big club was sending OBC favourite Cody Bass down to Bingo. Oh, and for the record, Brian Elliott got the boot to New York State as well (translation: BFD). This revelation brings the joint blog project between TUC, Scarlett Ice, Five For Smiting and Hockeyschlock to a screeching halt...at least for the foreseeable future. That being said, this little venture of ours will be bloody awesome when the time comes. Bass can't get back to Ottawa soon enough -- at least not for the five of us. In the meantime...uh...all hail Jesse Winchester?

Pfft...you can't make a slogan out of that.

More later.

If you haven't checked out Five For Smiting's season preview for the Sens, we suggest you do so immediately.