The Universal Cynic

That isn't a reference to my feelings on tomorrow's game -- in fact, I'm quite looking forward to it.

My issue is with the large majority of Canadian coverage that's taking place, both in traditional media and online. The Canadian media has this incessant need to tie everything back to our country, because they assume that's the only way readers will be interested in the stories. "Hey look, this DB played for the B.C. Lions in '98! Let's ask him about the three months he spent there!" For Christ's sakes, enough already. Ask them if they've had violent sleepwalking dreams where they throttled the opposition's QB, and ended up kicking the crap out of a houseplant. Ask them if they think anyone's going to pull a Eugene Robinson the night before -- they don't have to name names.

Then there's this. The Globe and Mail sent down two writers who are co-authoring a Super Bowl blog. The above link offers a "description" of a Super Bowl bash. Here's my favourite part:

The answers to those and other fascinating questions were revealed during last night’s media party at Gulfstream Racetrack where the premises was dotted by women dressed in jockey uniforms. Just not like jockey uniforms like you’ve ever seen before – as in three-inch spiked heals (sic), short skirts and tight tops.


"Heals"? That isn't going to do much for the perception that male sportswriters are the antithesis of Tom Brady/Brad Pitt/Whatever man is hot enough to make all women ignore everyone else in the room. If you can't spell it, my guess is you haven't seen enough of them.

I also don't understand what's up with that bare bones description. There are no photos on the blog -- aren't writers supposed to paint a picture with words? I mean, I'm cognizant enough to realize that my audience is between 95-98% male. Tell me that the chick's legs are longer than a John Madden run-on sentence. Say that you didn't know where to look, because your interview subject's nipples were pointing to first and third. That's what I would have done...I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to do that for my audience.

Anyway, there's more on the above blog if you want to check it out -- including hilarious tales about forgetting your co-worker's room number after you've gone out to pick up some beer. Sigh.

On the other hand, if you want to read some legitimately interesting and funny Super Bowl blogs that will provide a better snapshot of the week's festivities, I highly suggest checking out these ones from Deadspin and Bill Simmons. Simmons' radio row day was a particularly good read, and Deadspin's tomfoolery with ESPN is utterly classic. Check them out if you haven't already.