The Universal Cynic

Just bear with me here, because this is going to veer off into a couple of directions.

I know it's my job to watch the games -- at home and on the road -- regardless of whether it's in a seat, on Butterknife Row, or in the comfort of my own home. And I like hockey, I do...I wouldn't be in the this business if I didn't care about sports.

But bloody freaking hell...has it been a strain for me to sit through Senators games thus far.

I took in last night's Sens-Habs game at home, and frankly, I wasn't looking forward to it. Why? It's a Montreal game -- one of eight on the schedule this year. And I know this point has been pounded into the ground, but the weighted schedule chews it, especially if you're dealing with the Northeast division. If there's one team with less personality than the Sens, it has to be the Habs. Ooh, the tradition! The rivalry! What rivalry? The closest thing to a rift between these two teams probably occurs between the arena's food services departments, discerning if there's a preference of buns over white bread for hot dogs. And don't even try with the whole Vaclav Prospal/Patrice Brisebois thing. That's so last millennium.

This schedule is burning me out, and we're barely a month in. However, there's a reason why November 20th is circled on my calendar in bright red ink. That's the day the Wild come to town. A Western Conference team! And they don't suck! It's a sweet November oasis in the middle of cyclic, mind-numbing Eastern-heavy mess. I cannot wait.

But there's more to it than just the schedule.

Watching the game last night, I was lagging. I had two episodes of PTI and one of The Colbert Report on PVR that I was dying to watch, and it was a strain not to hit the "list" button on the remote. I figured, as I have during the 19 games before it (10 regular, 9 preseason), that the quality of the match would improve -- not necessarily the Sens' play -- but the game overall.

Yet again, I was wrong. And somewhere between the second and third period, I fell asleep. Essentially, I was biding my time until The Daily Show began.

That's not to say there haven't been some exciting moments during Sens games, but let's be frank -- it's been more bad than good.

However, there's a difference between bad and boring play. When most teams play badly, they will eventually begin to show signs of emotion -- normally frustration. This might come in the form of a snapped stick, increased hitting, or an enforcer calling out a member of the opposition.

But on most nights, like tonight, the Sens do little or nothing at all. They're on autopilot, just like Dean Brown's play-by-play calls. They're awash in a hideous general malaise, and apparently it's contagious.

Nothing changes if nothing changes, and being shown repeated proof that the Sens can trump the Leafs isn't enough to hold my attention. It never was. I've never been accused of having ADHD, but if something doesn't alter soon, I will start changing the channel. On the bright side, it's nice to know that a cure has been found for my chronic insomnia.

(Edit: The Driver just called and said the radio guys were describing Alfie's facial expression as "frustrated", and that said captain also delivered a hit last night. Oh well, this changes everything, doesn't it?)