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These are your leftovers:

Due to the insanity from the past week (more on that in a minute), I came across a German-based NHL message board that's a total riot to read. My German isn't the greatest -- I can catch the jist of some things -- but I figured for the hell of it, I'd run some posts through an online translator for all of you. Here's an unaltered sampling:

"Bist du des Wahnsinns knusprige Beute, 7 Punkte von Alfie letzte Nacht."


"You are the insanity crisp prey, 7 points night last by Alfie."

(Come back soon, Alfie -- the team is in dire need of your crispy insanity.)


"vielleicht schafft es Alfie ja auch noch, seinen alten kumpel Mats zum erzrivalen zu locken...
das wär der deal schlechthin für die provinz Ontario!
Ottawa hat eine reihe von jungen talenten, nach denen die Leafs sich die finger lecken würden (Vermette u.a.) und mit Spezza und Sundin als 1-2 punch kann Fisher hauptsächlich gegen die topreihe des gegners spielen, dort ist er wohl am effektivsten für sein team. damit wären die Sens im osten de fakto der anwärter nummer 1 auf eine erneute teilnahme am cup finale."


"Perhaps it creates Alfie also yet to attract its old buddy rents to the archrival... The wär the deal simply for the province Ontario! Ottawa has would line up one of young talents, after which the Leafs would lick itself the fingers, (Vermette among other things) and with Spezza and Sundin as 1-2 punch can Fisher mainly against the topreihe of the opponent play, is would be participate there he probably most effectively for its team. therewith the Sens in the East de fakto of the applicants number 1 on a renewed in the cup finale."

(I always knew the Leafs were a bunch of finger-lickers. Are they trying to say that Vermette is the equivalent of a bucket of chicken?)


Ja Rayzor scheint nicht nur abgehoben zu sein, der liebe Herrgott hat im wohl auch nicht mit allzu viel Intelligenz gesegnet. Ich sage es hier und jetzt: Ottawa ist nicht wegen Emery in den SC-Final gekommen, sondern eher trotz ihm. Das er eine Solche Aroganz entwickelt nach einer erfolgreichen Season ist schon bedenklich. Elliot hat in seinem bisherigen einzigen Spiel überzeugt, der scheint kein schlechter zu sein.

Schöner Sieg gegen die NYI, aber Corvo könnte echt mal mit seinen Fehlpässen im eigenen Drittel aufhören....


"Yes Rayzor seems not only removed to be, that dear gentleman God blessed has in that probably also not with all too much intelligence. I say it here and now: Ottawa did not come because of Emery in the SC-Final, but rather sooner in spite of it. That it such an Aroganz developed is already doubtful after a successful Season. Elliot convinced in its previous only game, no bad seems that to be.

Beautiful victory against the NYI, but Corvo could really once with its Fehlpässen in the own third stop ..."

(Fehlpässen? Is that Corvo's problem? Someone needs to tell him they make a cream for that.)


Now then...about last week. I know when the blog went dark, a lot of assumptions were made. None of them were true. I had some business to attend to, and wasn't able to keep up with the demands being made due to Tuesday's post. Please note (and I only wish to state this once, so pay attention): If the blog goes subscription-only, no posts are being made. You're not missing anything. I will bring it back online when I can.

Frankly, I wasn't expecting the type of reaction that I received from Tuesday's post. People took the ball and ran with it, which is their prerogative. Thank you to those who chose to link and discuss it with some semblance of seriousness -- particularly if you were able to do so without playing the Allen Iverson card. It's called "fresh material", kids. Look into it.


As for the latest on the drama-doomed troika (Gerber-Paddock-Emery), it appears that Paddock's most recent scheme ("win and you're in") is destined for failure, and once again demonstrates the head coach's lack of decisiveness. Granted, neither goaltender was a standout in either game (The Manatee vs. Boston and Ray in Toronto tonight). But both have yet to receive proper defensive support (for the record, Meszaros deserves to fly home in the cargo hold this evening). Can't he at least let one of them ride for a couple games, to at least work through some issues and build a smidge of confidence?

This is the analogy I've been throwing out to friends for a couple of months: Paddock is Archie, Gerber is Betty and Emery is Veronica. The Manatee is like Betty because everyone likes him (he's a favourite in the dressing room), he's low-key, doesn't rock the boat -- almost to the point of becoming a doormat (remember how often Betty would help Archie with his homework?) -- but wants to be No. 1 in Archie's world.

Emery is Veronica to a t -- the diva and the bling-lover (Aside: Did I just write "bling"? I want to hurt myself.) She bitches and throws temper tantrums, and Archie totally takes it because he remembers how hot she can be. The thing is, I don't remember Veronica eating a cockroach on a bet for tattoo money. Granted, that might've been in a Double Digest I missed. In the comics, Ron would just swipe a credit card from her father's wallet while he napped in his office (Mr. Lodge would be played by Bryan Murray...oh, and Binghamton prospect Brian Elliott would be played by Midge -- the girl everyone forgets about until she starts acting like a saucy minx).

I totally need to flesh this out some more, don't I?


A couple more things...

This is driving me crazy. Two elite athletes: Tom Brady and Sidney Crosby. Both diagnosed with high ankle sprains. Afterward, Brady goes around to NYC nightclubs with Gisele Bundchen. Crosby goes around making a face like he got into a Jacuzzi too quickly and scorched his genitalia.

(Aside: When it comes to comedic gold, this is The Driver's Fort Knox, despite the trauma it caused. He honed this bit during the years when we had gym memberships at the O.A.C. -- he was unable to avoid the sight of octogenarians who immersed their naked bodies into the men's hot tub, only to retract lightning-fast while cupping their private parts and making a sucking noise through their teeth. The Driver's imitation of this -- fully clothed, naturally -- is absolutely priceless, and the face he makes is identical to the one Crosby is demonstrating in the photo.)

And finally, just a heads-up: Tomorrow's column is Super Bowl-based. It's too difficult to write about the Sens in that space with any level of passion -- they might as well replace their Roman soldier logo with an Ambien tablet.

More later.