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Oh, we KNOW what they were smoking

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The NHL continued its seemingly one-a-day new uniform rollout yesterday with a trip back across the border to Vancouver. Granted, we weren't sure what to expect -- the hockey stick logo of yore (with blue and green colouring) has been a wildly popular retro favourite, yet remained as an alternate (think along the lines of the San Diego Chargers' powder blues).

And so, after much speculation, here it is (click to enlarge):

Oh. My. God.

What the (expletive) is that? What on Earth would possess someone to plaster bold lettering of a frighteningly nondescript nature on the chest of a sweater...that already had a logo on it? Is that even a font? If it is, it should be called "Canadian", because it's the most boring lettering I've ever seen. Why did they do this? Did they think the logo wasn't enough for us to recognize the team as the Canucks? Was this done for Bob Cole's benefit? If so, dude has some serious pull.

(In all seriousness, we know the name is meant as a nod to the Millionaires and WHL Canucks, but come on -- would it kill to have an eye for aesthetics?)

The thing upsetting us the most about this move is that we really don't have a problem with the sweater, other than the lettering. In fact, we'd go so far as to say that it could have been our favourite of the newly unveiled jerseys thus far, and that includes Ottawa's. Going with the blue and green was a smart move, and you'll note that they have a full stripe across the bottom (despite the rounded edge) and horizontal stripes on the sleeves, which frankly makes all the difference in the world. We've never been big fans of the orca logo, but we can live with it -- and they've included the hockey stick on the shoulder patch.

It kind of reminds us of watching Bob Ross paint those amazing pictures where, "in our world, there's a happy little cloud." He would paint along happily for about 23 minutes until he had this killer nature scene -- then all of a sudden he would bust out a brush, load it up with thalo green and draw a big freaking tree right down the centre of the canvas. And you just know everyone is screaming at their television sets, "Stop it! You're RUINING IT!" Those letters on the new Van sweaters are the equivalent of Bob Ross's giant tree in his paintings. Sometimes, you have to know when to put the brush down...or in this case, the heat press.

P.S. Note that this is our first Bob Ross tag. God willing, there will be more.

We came, we saw...we bought the t-shirt (and were given another one for free).

How lovely of the Hockey Hall Of Fame to dig this out of the Corporate Sponsor Du Jour's closet for today. The team's name is not engraved on it yet (really, do you want to see that?). I was privy once again to some hilarity courtesy of the HHOF staff (who once infamously told me that they had no clue where the Presidents' Trophy was). A rep was on hand, so I approached him and asked about the chunk of crystal located on the base. He went into a spiel about it being "low grade lead crystal" (only the best for our sport), and then...

Me: "I see...but does it represent anything?"

HHOF Rep: (totally perplexed) "I dunno...ice?"

Epic. I love these people. I'm going to write a sitcom for them and sell it to the CBC.

The foyer had a nice display of the new jerseys, and as we entered, they were sporting the All-Star versions. It was the first opportunity for the public to get their hands (literally) on the new material, and these dummies were being felt up so much, you'd think Scarlett Johansson was under the sweater. The material really is lighter, with a blatantly visible mesh. It's quite pliable and stretchy, which isn't something one would assume with polyester. That being said, they are slimmer and should be avoided by the bloated and, uh, pleasantly plump.

Oh yeah, don't think we forgot about the dummy's nonexistent face. We're dying to Photoshop the hell out of that.

A shot of the crowd aimed towards the back (I was lurking on the second level). Make no mistake -- there a lot of people who are desperate for the season to begin.

The stage (lighting was atrocious).

It felt like forever before we were able to finally see the jerseys, but it's worth mentioning that Murray received a standing ovation, which was quite nice.

Apologies for the blur. For me, this was the best improvement. The slimmed down numbers and lettering are a great upgrade.

Alright, so here's the red (home) version. You'll note that we've been subjected to the same rounded bottom on the sweater that you may have seen on other teams' jerseys. No sir, I don't like it. It looks like an untucked shirttail. And while the colour is blatant, the lack of any other pattern makes it look like a practice jersey. However, the biggest faux pas in my opinion, was the decision to place the "O" patch on the shoulder. It doesn't mesh with the logo's design, and is begging to be mocked by those who don't know (or appreciate) history. They'll call it a zero -- to represent the number of Cups the modern-day team has won. It's a marketing company's job to overthink and cover all the bases. They definitely missed this one.

The rear view.

The closeup.

Here's your new white (away) jersey. Note the use of the second logo (now referred to as the "primary" logo). It's worth mentioning that the new stylized profile logo was nowhere to be seen today, although according to a handout, it "will appear on some 'classic' Senators merchandise". The lack of flesh tone in the face is far more obvious on the white as well. Ironically, I heard a few people say they preferred the white over the red, which has never been the case. Until now.

Again from the back. That chick getting in the way of the photo? Yeah, that'd be me (wide awake, trust).

So how does this look on everyday merch? Here's one of the first hats (in Sensations). The embroidery is very odd -- it's not a gradual buildup. In fact, it almost looks like the face was placed on like an iron-in patch.

And after eons, the merch department finally came correct with a simple t-shirt for women. The logo is made up of a mosaic of tiny, slightly sparkled dots. Not cheesy, not prissy...it hits the right note for basic womens' gear. About bloody time.

Finally, here was the shirt they were handing out at the door as fans exited. I was surprised to see it had the new logo on it, which I thought was quite sporting of them. If anything, a gratis garment would have been an excuse to pawn off the old merch onto the masses.

So, what do you think? Yay, nay or get the (expletive) on with it?

More later.


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Alright, so we've been relatively absent for the past little bit -- mostly for good reason. The news coming out has been a vast vortex of crap, and uh, well...The Driver's Mom was hit by a car. Seriously. Thankfully she's going to be alright, but it's taken up a lot of our time. Strangely enough, this is a far more common occurrence in the Lakehead than one might think. When I was in high school, two kids were hit by cars. Well...rather, one was hit by a bus, and the other by a hearse (sans casket). He was fine, and we were given four years' worth of punchlines from the incident. Good times.

Anyway, we're off to the SBP this aft to observe the uniform unveiling. We're generally not big fans of change, but will attempt to keep an open mind. Expect a synopsis this evening. You can find our initial thoughts on this event here.

Also, the Sens PPV schedule was released today -- seven games this year, up from five. Here they are (with credit to Chris Stevenson's blog):

Nov. 22 home against Pittsburgh
Dec. 7 @ Dallas
Jan. 4 @ Buffalo
Jan. 29 @ NYI
Feb. 28 @ Philly
March 11, home against Boston
April 3 @ Toronto.

Yeah, you can trust we have thoughts on this as well. More later.

The Forsberg angles

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Which side are you more likely to fall on? This one from yesterday, or the one that appeared today? We think it's pointless conversation, and therefore the second piece seems far more along the lines of our thinking on this subject.

P.S. When is everyone going to stop looking at Martin Gerber as a bank account that the team is not allowed to draw on? Hello -- you would need someone to replace him before you could make a trade. Not to be an a-hole about it, but I hope he torches Emery in camp just to make things interesting.

The logos (reprise)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Here's what appeared in the Sun today:

As you can see, the "cartoon" logo has been confirmed. And while I'm all for freshening up the original logo (right), his cape positioning is bothering me. The degree of the arc appears the same as the uh, brush thingie, but based on the placement it seems much longer and extreme (cape, not brush). That being said, I think both are growing on me. I'll give them a B-.


Friday, August 10, 2007

Here's your Hilary Duff-Mike Comrie confirmation, for those of you who care about this stuff. How pissed do you think the oversexed Ottawa media is about this (read: not me)? No Comrie = No Duff = No stalker-like sightings at the SBP. Boo! Hiss!

P.S. More photos of the happy couple can be found here.

P.P.S. Hilary Duff must be about 4 feet tall. Just saying.

Martin Gerber wants you to love him...

Thursday, August 09, 2007

...but if you won't, his overseas Swiss fan club will. How can such a feat be accomplished? Well, by dressing up like an 1890's goldrush Klondike pimp and line dancing, of course. Peter Schaefer would've been so jealous of this get-up, it's not even funny. And no, I'm not mixing prescription meds -- just see for yourself. Count me in as pro-Manatee from this moment forward, because this is one of the most messed up things I've ever seen. Here's the Swiss-German explanation from Gerber's authorized fansite:

Am vergangenen Sonntag, 8. Juli 2007 fand in der Westernstadt "Fraumatt-City" in Dürrenroth das Fanfest für die Mitglieder des Fanclubs "Let's go Tinu" mit Tinu Gerber statt.

Trotz einiger Regentropfen gab es viele zufriedene Coboys und Cowgirls und natürlich einige waschechte Indianer.

I love this. Someone get me "Let's Go Tinu" on a t-shirt.

(Want more pics? Go here.)

Meh. M-E-H.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Because there's not a lot to talk about, posters at the HFBoards are focusing on the Sens' potential new uniforms and tweaked logo. One poster claims to have found the new logo at the bottom of the Sens' website. When we went to see if it was there, we weren't able to find anything. However, since we've personally seen this logo before, we think it's a safe bet that this is what you'll be seeing in less than two months. The new one's on the left, and the old version's on the right.

As you can see (at least we hope), it's a very minor alteration. The Senator is now facing a smidge more to the side, his chin was raised, additional, uh, cape is visible, and his helmet almost looks like it's covering more of his face. This led The Driver to remark, "It looks like he's wearing a hoodie." I can also tell you from memory that the brush-thing (such technical terms being used on here today) on his helmet seems more prominent and full.

The one thing that's bothering me is that the logo looks less pissed off and intense. If the damned thing could talk, I picture it saying, "Yeah...I'll play hockey. Or not. Whatever." I expect the logo to reflect the red-assed nature of this franchise and its fans. It needs a 25% bitterness upgrade.

Here we go again...

Monday, August 06, 2007

Why does this matter? Why do people obsess about this guy so much? I've become convinced from a blogging aspect, some people choose to attack him so fervently because they're desperate for attention. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve criticism, but come on -- do you really need to be throwing all your effort into slagging a person who's not that relevant in the grand scheme of things?

P.S. This is about as important as the controversy itself, but I can confirm to you that's definitely him in the second picture.